Getting help for mental health
I've never seen a therapist before, but I think I'm at the point now where I need to. Seeking any helpful advice. How common is it in finance to seek help in this way? I've normally had pretty positive mental health all throughout high school and college, but recently things have taken a turn for the worse in my personal life and at work (environment / coworkers are becoming increasingly toxic day by day). I feel like I'm wallowing in my depression and it's hard to get out of this funk.
If you do see a therapist, do you have online or in-person sessions? How frequently do you meet (weekly, monthly, etc.) What's the average cost of your session?
Thanks, and appreciate your thoughts.
Hi there! First of all, congratulations on deciding to look into therapy. It’s the most helpful tool, and it’s incredibly shitty how stigmatized it is these days.
Have you looked into online solutions like BetterHelp (there are others as well)? I think it can be a lot less terrifying than in person session, especially if you’re just starting.
Lastly, please remember that finding a therapist is like dating - most people go through ~5 different therapist before they find the one they love!
thank you so much! I started looking into BetterHelp earlier and will definitely check it out. Really appreciate the recommendation and advice.
In my experience it’s more common than you think to see a therapist. I see mine virtually (face time) which was originally due to COVID but has worked out better because I’m not losing time commuting to and from her office during the day.
Rates for a good therapist will be $250+ for a 45 minute session. Most of mine is covered through insurance. I always pay up for the plan which has the best mental health reimbursement.
If you don’t like the first person you chat with don’t stop there. Meet a few people and find the one who you think can help you best.
thank you - all good info!
Burnout = depression
Far more common than you think. Mental health care is just as important as physical, especially in a high stress industry like ours.
Good luck man!
Good on your for seeking help. As others have mentioned mental health has traditionally been very stigmatized, especially among men, however in recent years it's become a little more accepted, which I think is a great thing. I've been going to therapy on and off for years. Sometimes I feel like I need it more than others, sometimes it's just nice to have someone who can help with some self reflection. Maybe this is just how I justify it in my mind, but I kind of think of it as a life performance enhancer of sorts. This might be kind of corny, but pro athletes do it and while working in finance isn't comparable to playing in the NBA or anything like that, it does carry a higher stress load and required "performance" than other jobs, so if I want to be on my game at work and in life, taking time to make sure I'm as mentally balanced as possible is important. That's not even to mention if you have something like depression, chronic anxiety, or even something ore serious that would absolutely require some treatment.
With that said, the cadence of how often you see someone is up to you. Usually therapists start off at once every week or two and as time goes on your can move back to once a month or so or even as needed. Finding a good therapist that you connect with can be tough, so I wouldn't hesitate to do a couple of intro sessions before deciding who you move forward with. You want to feel comfortable with the person and it doesn't always click right off of the bat. As far as finding someone, honestly, I just google and try and find someone nearby to the office or your apartment. I'd ideally also find someone that is familiar with banking and the lifestyle, which I'm sure most NYC therapists have experience with, haha, but you don't want to end up with a relationship therapist if work stress is your main problem now. Cost can vary, some accept insurance, most don't. I feel like my session were ~$150-200/hour. NYC might be a little more, but I'd hesitate anywhere too far above $200. Some therapists get celebrity type followings after writing books or articles and I've seen some cray $500+/hour types of pricing, which in my opinion isn't worth it.
thank you for your thoughtful response. Really appreciate you taking the time to write it!
It is pretty common from what I have seen. Mine in $125 but I'm in a MCOL city. Highly recommend it. Also definitely second that it often takes a few before you find the one, it can be a bit disheartening, but well worth it in the long run.
Above all else focus on your mental health. Its good to talk about problems in ways ypu may not feel comfortable doing to family or friends. Therapy isn't taboo these days. Remember larger firms don't just provide it in office sometimes, but encourage it. Get the help you need and good luck
I recommend BetterHelp. It's been very helpful and my bank has a discount, yours might too. I don't really have much to add that others haven't said already but good luck and I hope you find a therapist that's best for you!
My mental health fell apart the last 2 years. I got put on anti depressants and it has made my life so much better. Go to a GP and get an assessment. Also make time for daily exercise and eat healthy.
If you're thinking about going to therapy -- you're already helping yourself. I made the mistake of never considering it while I was in banking and just 'powering through' until I got to the buyside and hoping things would get better.
Turns out, they didn't get much better as my PE role is more stressful than my analyst stint and the burnout feeling came back after 6 months. I started therapy and am optimistic things will get better; but, I do wonder if I had been more willing to start therapy while I was an analyst if I'd be happier now. I recently found out my two closest analyst buddies saw therapists while in banking; one still sees a therapist, the other says he's in the best headspace of his life. Long-winded way of saying, it's a lot more common than you'd think.
Two tips from my experience: I asked my doctor for an in-network referral, so my insurance covers most of my sessions and it's much cheaper than BetterHelp. Second, see if your company sponsors any mental health offerings; it's no longer a taboo thing and if it's impacting your performance at work, your company will want to help.
Best of luck!
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