Feeling disheartened.

What a joke.

I genuinely have no idea what to do anymore. I finally broke into S&T at a bank as an off-cycle intern (non-target). I worked hard, first one on the floor and last one out. I came up with new ideas, I networked, and I learned an absolute f*ckton being there and fell in love with the work. I showed genuine excitement for the markets and I thought that was apparent. I received excellent feedback from my MD, VPs, and an Associate. I am not someone that prides himself on always having worked hard and always putting in 100% - I got by just fine in life doing things at a mediocre level. But this time, I did everything I could, and I was and still am proud of that. I'm not up at night thinking about what I could have done better and that is a blessing in of itself. 

But its not enough to make it OK. I received the call that I didn't make it to their FT program. Keep in mind I graduate this year ('25). No feedback, nothing, just nothing. I thought this would be it, and it wasn't. So at this point I don't know what to do. There's no backup, no one is coming to save me. Everywhere I look, people seem to only get into FT roles after having done a co-op at the same place or more commonly, in the same group - and that door was slammed shut in my face. 

I still remember the look in my moms eyes when I told her that I was doing really well in that role and that I'd finally be able to support her once I got the FT job. She was so proud of me. I'm heartbroken over this, I continue to scour the career websites every day to see if there's a new posting and I continue to try but god damn is this difficult. 

I'm not sure why I'm writing all this. But I still hope that things work out.

9 Comments
 

Sometimes life doesn't work out as planned, don't take this personal.
With all the useful things you have learned, go ahead and apply at other firms. You will make it.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  1-800-273-8255
 
Most Helpful

Man, I really feel for you. That’s a tough spot to be in. You put in the work, did everything right, and still didn’t get the outcome you wanted. But trust me, this isn’t the end. I’ve been through my fair share of setbacks too, and I know how brutal this process can be.

I come from a tough background in Brazil and somehow made it to a top US uni with a partial scholarship. The rest was covered by a nonprofit back home, but then the recession hit, and I lost my funding. Had to drop out. Took a gap year, went through some rough times, felt like everything was slipping away. But I wasn’t going to let that be the end of my story. Applied to every full-ride program I could and landed at a top 50 uni in Asia. Thought I was back on track.

Sophomore year, I landed a finance internship at a UN agency in Europe. Junior year, got an S&T internship at a bulge bracket in Hong Kong, thought that was it. Didn’t get a return offer. Felt like all my work had been for nothing. Went home for a break before my final semester, then got into a car accident. Had to take a leave of absence, graduation delayed. Thought I was completely screwed. But because of that delay, I got another shot at a summer internship. Just got some offers, and now I’m back in the game in my late 20's, after all that hassle. 

What I’m saying is, this isn’t over. I know it feels like a dead end, but it’s not. You’re clearly smart, hardworking, and you’ve already come further than most. If S&T is what you want, keep pushing. One closed door doesn’t mean another won’t open. The ones who make it aren’t always the ones with the easiest path, it’s the ones who refuse to quit.

Keep your head up, man. You got this.

 

How were you able to secure a HK S&T role without being a mainland Chinese? Did you speak Mandarin?

 

HK is a very diverse city. Afaik, no international banks require Mandarin for S&T, if they do, only for a few specific desks. In the trading floor I could hear some Cantonese and Mandarin sometimes but only when coworkers were chit-chatting. For instance, my desk was half Chinese half foreigner (UK, Korea, Brazil and others). None of the foreigners spoke Mandarin. 

 

Did you network your way into a position or was it cold apply? I imagine interviews were only behavioral

 

My uni is not in HK/China, it was cold application through the bank's career portal. Several batches of interviews, behavioral and technical. 

 

Thank you for this - I do plan on continuing the work but your story is an inspiration. All the best with your work and career, I hope you accomplish everything you dreamed of!

 

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