How to resign without burning bridges

I think it's senior management that decided the layoffs, my boss is actually a very sentimental guy, he shields us when it comes to layoffs, but when someone tries to quit he also takes it personally. Which is why I want to do this carefully. Ideally I'd like to keep the door open to rejoin my team.Also, I don't think anyone will brag about failing to secure their dream role at entry lol

You probably already know this but he is almost certainly just talking about the best desk on the street for his particular product/asset class. So answer totally depends on that.

In my contract it says I need to tell them where I'm going but in the back of my mind this sounds ridiculous..? Couldn't I just lie and say any competing firm out there? How would they check that? Go ping the guys over there and then say hey did X get an offer here that he's taking? I don't think they would disclose that. Maybe by pinging some close friends and checking with that group.

In my contract it says if I want to pursue a job during my non-compete period, I have to submit a disclosure with my title, entity/person, and a complete description of duties and reporting and also take precautions so that if I accept the job I won't compromise any confidential information. This sounds unenforceable lol.. if I'm leaving for a direct competitor there's 0 precautions that can be taken as I'm taking all my knowledge of everything in my head over to the new firm. Should I tell them, I'm going to a competitor, I will not be disclosing more so use this information to determine whether or not you fully exercise the non-compete.

Full disclosure this is also a firm who had remote employees in California where NC's are unenforceable so they were a bit unhappy when the employed members of the firm based in California left and they had no leg to stand on with a non-compete so I'm sure they just tried to put as much language into the NC as possible, but this above doesn't seem possible to enforce and would just depend on self-reporting. I don't plan on working during a NC, but for me to reveal the firm I'm going to and give them the option to exercise it, I don't see any benefit of doing this cause they're paying me during my NC lol so if I get a 3-6 month break and get paid I'm taking it.

Second this - good advice. Been in the situation a few times, although in IBD and not S&T.Do it in person, be professional, be thankful, offer to handover/work notice etc (even if it's just a gesture), say you'd hope to have a catch-up with manager over a beer in the future etc.Always decline the counteroffer

Director in S&T - FI

Ask to meet with him in a conference room or office off the floor, inform him that you are resigning to pursue another opportunity.  Tell him it was a pleasure working for him and thank him for the opportunity.  If he asks where you are going, just tell him that you can't say anything yet.  Offer to stay on for 2 weeks, but most likely you will escorted out after the meeting is over.  People change jobs in this business all the time, there is usually no hard feelings and everybody moves on.  I have never heard anybody have anything negative to say about somebody leaving as long as they had the decency to do it in person (do know one guy who was on vacation and instead of coming back just quit over text).   

Second this - good advice. Been in the situation a few times, although in IBD and not S&T.

Do it in person, be professional, be thankful, offer to handover/work notice etc (even if it's just a gesture), say you'd hope to have a catch-up with manager over a beer in the future etc etc

Always decline the counteroffer!

I was given a hard time from my former S&T MD, but he was also well-known on the floor as a psychopath and even though he oversaw multiple products he didn’t know how to actually process a trade himself. So very much an outlier situation. Next MD was the polar opposite when I resigned 

Here is an example of "unlawful" contracts/agreements Often severance agreements include a "gag" order. This can be literally "illegal" now since the McLaren Macomb decision. This is the type of reference I was broadly referencing. On the other hand, some contracts have non compete terms which may be "lawful" to a degree, but are often unenforceable when brought to court, depending on the state, industry, function and specifics. It's just always a great idea to have your attorney review your potential contract before you sign. If you sign a non compete agreement, and you leave a company to go to a competitor in the same function (especially in a trading function where you have access to trading strategies) this is likely inviting a fight from your soon to be former employer. Sometimes you can negotiate to buy your way out of the contract (or your new employer can do this). Usually, if you have been at a firm for a year or more, you will know how aggressive your company is in going after those who violate the non compete, This is my experience; firms differ a bit on their actions.

Yes, excellent observation. You summed it up well. I failed to mention the bonus cycle departures. This is a whole discussion in itself - when to leave when bonus time is close.