Can you critique my cold email?

Hello Adam,

I am looking for career advice to enter equity research. I'm a second year BA Accounting and Finance student at ... university. I was hoping to get a call with you, so you could tell me about your time in investment research.

Please let me know if you are available to speak sometime this Thursday afternoon. 

Thank you,

Zack ...

M: ###

Li: www.linkedin.com/in/firstlast

WSO Elite Modeling Package

  • 6 courses to mastery: Excel, Financial Statement, LBO, M&A, Valuation and DCF
  • Elite instructors from top BB investment banks and private equity megafunds
  • Includes Company DB + Video Library Access (1 year)

Comments (5)

Mar 25, 2021 - 11:17am

Little too generic, I would open with, "I'm a [X year] student at [university] interested in breaking into Industry."

Then, I would immediately bring up something that you two have in common, same school, same club, etc. or try to find a natural way to weave it into your intro. Then ask for their availability to get on a call. I used to try to make it easier for them by listing out timeframes in the next week and asking if any of those worked for them to hop on for a quick call. 
 

It's more effective to start with reaching out to people who have something in common with you, they're more likely to respond. 

Jun 10, 2021 - 12:01am

I agree. Either bringing up something you have in common or mentioning something that is specific to their profile (perhaps they were featured on Bloomberg or FT article recently, or maybe you read something they reposted on LinkedIn). The point is to make the solicitation special to them and to use it as a conversation starter.

Mar 25, 2021 - 12:15pm

I don't think this is necessarily bad, just needs some tuning up. Introduce yourself first, "I'm zachhq, a second year Accounting and Finance major at ... university. After interning with Company or joining Club, I became interested in equity research. I would like to learn more about your time at Company while covering the Auto and Aftermarket Parts sector. Let me know if you are available to speak sometime this week."

Don't need to include your linkedin page.

Funniest
Mar 25, 2021 - 4:35pm

Try a little subliminal messaging, like:

Hello x,

I am OP.

Would you be available to meet up and grab a coffee some time?

I would love to learn more about equity research.

Learning about equity research is very important to me.

Let me explain further.

Being part of an equity research team is a dream of mine.

Love of finance is my creed and equity research is my god.

Out of pure infatuation, I will do anything to break into this field.

Without equity research, I will have lived a life unfulfilled.

You wouldn't believe the lengths I am willing to go...

On my knees, I'm begging you to teach me...

Understand that I will do anything to get into equity research.

kind regards,

OP ;O 

  • 6
Start Discussion

Total Avg Compensation

July 2021 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (9) $911
  • Vice President (36) $363
  • Associates (209) $232
  • 2nd Year Analyst (120) $152
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (28) $146
  • Intern/Summer Associate (100) $145
  • 1st Year Analyst (442) $133
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (357) $82