Advice on knowing you're the worst
I'm two months into my role as a first year analyst at an IB and I'm seeking advice on what my general mentality should be considering I'm by far the worst analyst. A little background: recent college grad with no IB experience prior to my current position. Applied for the job, had one phone interview then got invited to the SD. Got the job. I have my theories on how I landed the job in the first place, but don't want to disclose too much personal information.
I know this seems a little preemptive as I'm only two months in, but I'm horrendous, especially compared to the other first years. I'm struggling knowing that people are looking at me like I'm an idiot. I feel like an idiot, most notably when my superiors ask me to do something and I do it wrong or I just don't know how to do it at all. I takes me three times longer than the others, including the interns, to complete a task. While I'm constantly asking questions, I'm starting to feel like a burden. I am "that analyst" and it's driving me crazy. I'm making major mistakes and it's frustrating everyone involved.
I like the work and I find it incredibly interesting. I don't mind the hours. I agree with the adage that the learning curve in IB is vertical as I have already learned so much in a very short period of time. However, I'm still miles away from everyone else and it is very obvious.
Is it best to just accept I'm not on the same level and view this opportunity as a way to better myself (i.e. I'm using the firm for my two year stint then taking the experience and moving on)? Is it wrong that I plan on sticking through it, even though I am not providing much substance to my firm? I don't feel right straight up saying I can't provide the same level of work as my peers, even though it's true. I don't want to make excuses but at the same time I don't want to do something so wrong it reflects poorly on my firm or myself. Basically, what is the best mindset to adopt moving forward?
Any advice would be appreciated. If necessary, be brutally honest.