Do you ask people for their pronouns?

Was in call today and referred to someone else who had just spoken as "she." All of a sudden someone interrupted me, asserting rather forcefully that the person's pronoun is "they," embarking on a tirade about making "harmful assumptions." I immediately felt horrified of my mistake, so I did a bit more research and found:

-Ze/zir/zirs

Ze/zir pronouns: “Ze is a writer and wrote that book zirself. Those ideas are zirs. I like both zir and zir ideas.”

-Ze/hir/hirs

Ze/hir pronouns: “Ze is a writer and wrote that book hirself. Those ideas are hirs. I like both hir and hir ideas.”

"Ze went to the library."

-Xe/XemXyrs

-Mx

What the fuck?? Is asking people for their pronouns commonplace now, and am I out of the loop?


 

I hope they don’t become mainstream. I’m not against pronouns by themselves, it’s the ideology behind it I don’t like. I’m not going to twist my world view to fit somebody’s else’s self image. On the other hand, we might have to be more careful in the future, imagine getting fired for not using pronouns and being labeled as a bigot and transphobic, genderphobic and other various types of phoebe/phobic.

 

Look a company that decides to fire people based on not using preferred pronouns is bound for bankruptcy anyways. Get out while you can.

To WSO users- if you get fired for not using pronouns, make a topic and let us know what firm so I can short it all the way to $0

Think about it, a candidate goes through a rigorous hiring process, thousands of dollars are spent on training him or her, and eventually he or she gets fired for not using the correct pronoun......sounds like a big fcking waste of company money. Full-blown HR tyranny if that happens.

 

Yeah, I’ve never asked, but I would be careful. Like the above poster said, you can’t interact freely and don’t know who you’ll run into. At my school there are posters with various pronouns people may use and often times professors ask what people preferred to be called otherwise they risk getting in serious trouble for offending/harassing students. These are strange times.

Also, they make us take classes in order to “better understand” the people around us. These are gender studies, women studies, classes on minorities and systemic racism, etc... graduation requirements too, which is just awful.

 

The singular of they is they/them - 'it' only refers to their dog. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Gender IS NOT a social construct, it is biology. You can want that not to be true, but it's science. It is fact. How you use it and how you feel about it is up to you, and I support your rights, but let's not kid ourselves, gender is biology.

Now to be totally politically incorrect, played golf with some buddies on Sunday. We were actually talking about the use of pronouns and kept making jokes about it all in good fun. I (a strong he, him) had a birdie putt on the 18th to win our match. Was about 15 feet with a small break. Hit a good putt on a perfect line. It stopped 1/2 a turn short, almost leaning into the hole. I couldn't help myself but say, "I guess I am a she / her!"  True story.

It is getting crazy out there.

 

Gender IS a social construct, don't be so ignorant. According to Genderspectrum.org, the binary genders (man/woman) fail to capture all that goes into a human. They don't take into account social gender, identity and congruence. Congruence being the most important as it is how we FEEL in our gender. There's also that great video Bill Nye the former science guy did where he explains why gender exists on a spectrum.

The links:

https://genderspectrum.org/articles/understanding-gender - Genderspectrum

- Bill Nye Former Science Guy
 

How you "feel" is irrelevant. Today I feel like a guy, tomorrow I feel like a horse, then a chicken, etc. Still a guy. You still have the anatomy (science / biology actually) of a guy. It is still impossible for two guys or gals to procreate naturally. They can feel anyway they want. They can find other ways through other partners. Fine. That doesn't change what they actually are. 

And by the way, why would I care what anyone's "pronouns" are? I htink the only ones who care are the ones who use the pronouns. For me, I could care less if you're straight , gay, bi, q, whatever other letters are needed to describe what doesn't need to be described because nobody cares!

 

You would think anyone in a position of relative importance in any organization would have enough emotional intelligence where you wouldn't need to fuck around with something as stupid as this. I am more aware of my use of the the phrase "you guys" as a gender-inclusive reference lately, though. 

 

This. I wouldn't ask someone for their pronouns but you should use them if given.

If someone has their pronouns in their Zoom name, try to follow them. If they get cut off on the screen or you just automatically say the wrong one, no big deal, just fix it next time. If you called someone James by accident and they correct you saying their name is John, you wouldn't keep saying James.

If it offends you that much, don't use pronouns and say their name in place of it.

 
Symfuhny

Not sure why everyone is so triggered by pronouns here lol. Non-binary people shouldn't just expect everyone to automatically know their pronouns, but if they correct me politely I'm more than comfortable using their preferred pronouns. It's not that deep, just be a nice person lmfao

And where exactly was the "polite correction" in this account? The words "forceful" and "tirade" in the context of public criticism hardly sounds like polite correction. 

Array
 

Bruh you act like everyone who corrects you on their pronouns is the devil lmfao relax. In most situations, you'll be asked nicely, and it's up to you to be a respectful person and follow suit, or as another user put it, just use their name if you don't agree with them. If they're rude about it, oh well. You don't have to marry them - just be cordial and respect how they want to be called. Why you so pressed?

 

I scream at people when they don't refer to me as "your majesty"

 

I scream at people when they don't refer to me as "your majesty"

Ah, thank you. I was beginning to worry that I was the only one that insisted that people use The Royal We when addressing me.

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

"They" as in Legion, like the thousands of demons that possessed the man in the Bible. Our society is spiraling into the abyss where wicked behavior (like, transitioning 4-year-olds, narcissism, and murdering 1 million babies each year) is considered not just allowable but affirmatively moral.

That said, there are genuinely some people who suffer either a mental illness of some form or disconnection between their sex and how they "feel." I feel horrible for those people and I have no desire to go out of my way to purposely offend them (e.g. "Ok, SIR" to someone who identifies as a woman). If someone offers me a real pronoun that is genuine I would try to abide by it, understanding that he or she may suffer serious mental or emotional issues. On the other hand, "non-binary" people are, IMHO, in most cases, just political activists. I would not feel bad in any way if someone "called me out" for not using "they". That's genuinely insane. It's pure narcissism. And calling someone out in public shows how disingenuous it was--if the person were genuine, they'd have politely spoken to you offline about concerns surrounding pronouns. Instead, that person took it as an opportunity to signal virtue to a crowd of people at your expense, completely unconcerned with how it might impact you.   

Array
 

Say a girl has a mental illness where she feels like a guy. She's still a girl with a mental illness, not a guy. Sames goes for whatever variation of this you can come up with. There are many forms of cognitive dissonance that people have to deal with (becoming disabled/losing a loved one/etc.) Those with a form of gender cognitive dissonance should deal with it like everyone else (and talk to a psychiatrist). 

 

I generally agree. Unfortunately a whole group has broken off to embrace why she 'is' a guy rather than possibly resolving some internal conflicts psychologically. Instead of getting medical help from professionals, these people are often advised by the masses, feeding into their fantasy of really being a 'guy'. It has turned into a viscous cycle that is confusing for the person in many ways. 

Worse, surgery is permanent and suicide is among the highest in these groups of people.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

It might be fitting to the collective voices of a multiple personality disorder person.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I knew this chick that was pretty heavy, she dressed like a guy and looked like a guy, haircut was like a guy and she would get offended if people asked if she was a guy. 

 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Yeah agree - how are we supposed to know? 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Let's face it. This whole "gender is non-binary" BS was probably started by a bored teenager who decided to troll the world. It just took off among bunch of autistic people and eventually made mainstream thanks to some people on the spectrum who figured out how to be extremely charismatic.

It's a cult-like belief that rejects basic science and indoctrinates people because everyone around is saying the same thing. If everyone tells you that the world is flat, then you feel like the world is flat even though it's not. 

 

"He Who Must Not Be Named" "Blew up the bathroom" - "You Know Who"

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

You should have just laughed and continued the call as normal, and if they continued talking nonsense tell them you can resume later when they're ready to act like adults.  Such professionals.

 

I don’t ask for their pronouns, but if they include it in their email signature or correct me, I’ll adjust accordingly. It’s no skin off my back, and if it makes them more comfortable and presumably more efficient and effective at work, not an issue for me.

 
 

I've also never asked someone for their pronouns and I do not plan to start. 

I have noticed recently that some people (they always seem to be female) have put their pronouns in email signatures.

For example:

Jane Doe
she/her/hers
Vice President
The SJW Group

Whenever I see someone with an email signature like that, I always make a mental note not to accept their inevitable LinkedIn request.

 

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