Hey guys,
Question about meal etiquette. As an SA or recent undergrad, what's the general rule on paying for meals when going to eat with MD's, VP's, CEO's, Associates, etc.? I assume if I go out with analysts/SA's, we just split the bill, but what about with mentors or network referrals? Is it an assumption that the most senior will pay? Would it be ridiculous for me to offer to split the bill with an MD?
Also, how does this situation change when it comes to something more menial like coffee? If I meet with an Associate from another bank for coffee, how do I handle the situation? I always feel awkward when the barista asks, "is this together or separate" and I say separate.
What about bars?
when i had meals with my team, MD generally paid, we offered to split it but he insisted. You can offer to split it, guess that is the courteous thing to do, but i'd be surprised if the md didn't pay.
if we were buying coffee, one of us would buy for the team once a week or something (small team so not a massive cash outlay). I don't think there's any hard and fast rule here, probably depends on the person you are having coffee with if you are meeting with someone who is not in your team
at the end of the day, they know you are not loaded at SA/analyst level, so I doubt you will get rinsed for money
p.s. - why are you eating with CEO's? :)
as far as etiquette is concerned, whoever pays often depends on who has extended the invitation, as well as what your rank within the firm and purpose are. for example, if you are being invited out by the firm for interviews, then it is inappropriate to offer to pay, as it is the expectation that the employer will pay. if you are arranging some type of informational meeting where you are doing the inviting, quite often VP's and above will still take the check; however, it is still encouraged for you to always offer to take the entire bill, assuming you invited them to go out. finally, if you are already working with them, you ought to take responsibility for your part of the check, but no need to pay for everyone...and of course, if it's someone much senior that insists on covering you, graciously accept their offer.
as an aside, whenever waitstaff personally ask me whether i want a check together or separate, i'll usually just say one tab is fine even if standard etiquette suggests that i don't have to pay for the other person. i think it just shows a little more grace and class to just give the waitstaff your credit card, and let your guest sort it out as necessary. very often, the other person will pay you back in cash anyway, or just offer to take you out the next time. either way, you've established a lot of goodwill, so i think as long as you can afford to cover the other person, it's worth at least extending the gesture.
I had a follow up question to your answer. Would it be rude to still pick up the tab if you were to invite a VP out to lunch and he really insists on picking up the tab? What about prepaying for the food when inviting a VP out? Would that be a smooth move or just make things awkward?
Dude.. youre not out on a date with a girl who youre trying to impress and say 'oh ya im a regular at this place so i guess our meal is free'.
Let it go, the general rule of thumb is that you OFFER to politely pay for yourself + party, but, about 99% of the time, the most senior person will foot the tab. Dont feel bad about it either, it goes on the corporate Visa and thus its simply a business expense.
They can always expense it anyway...
Any time I or other analysts have offered to pay for lunch/dinner/drinks over senior guys, they've made comments like "hmm seems like we're paying the analysts too much." So just let them pay.
Insisting to pay when they've already said they will is definitely going to make things awkward.
I am just contacting alums/inviting them out
I agree with numi. It's just not classy or professional to try and figure out who owes what and how much tip to give. If asked by the waiter, just avoid the awkwardness and respond "together" and bit the bullet and pay for the meal. After all, if you're eating with a CEO or MD or VP, they are probably doing you a favor anyway, so you can consider it an investment.
They always always insisted on paying, just make sure you offer.
What about if your inviting a contact (non alum) out to coffee - someone your trying to network with at a bank (met through prior interviewing).
Do you usually suggest the place and whanot?
I had an interview with a boutique for an internship last summer, didn't get it but kept in touch with the associate who interviewed me
When it came around to FT recruiting, I met up with him for a coffee to talk about his firm, I offered to pay but he got it
But this might be quite unusual, I had expected to pay because I asked him to meet up. He chose the venue, a place close to his office
what if your firm mentor (2nd year analyst) asks you (a summer analyst) out to coffee?
should I pay or let the analyst pay?
How should I go about doing this?
Your mentors are given about 150 dollars over the course of the summer to take you to coffee, drinks, meals, etc. They expense this to the firm, so I wouldn't expect to pay.
bump
I think generally accepted etiquette is that the person who asked for the meeting pays. This obviously doesn't hold true in cases where a student seeks a lunch with an Alum MD. The MD, or more senior person typically pay as they make substantially more money and its a courtesy they extend. As mentioned before, always be ready to pay, especially if you asked. You generally have something to gain from the meeting, so its more of an investment then anything.
As far as paying for coffee with a more senior analyst (or associate) if he asked, he will probably pay. Just offer to pay anyways, this shows your appreciation for the meeting and ultimately its just coffee, so its a few dollars.
In a cafe/food service line type setting my MDs usually just order food/coffee first, so by the time my order is finished being cooked/made, he has already paid for it. If you order first, pull out your wallet and tell the cashier that you will be paying for yours and the next one, then hand over your credit card. If the analyst or associate sees this he will decide whether to try and cut you off and pay or just let it go and "get you the next time."
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