Guys in here who don't want the family life or a wife, what's your plan?

Postgradwonderer's picture
Rank: King Kong | 1,369

It's more common in the younger generations than older ones. Seems like when we were kids the plan was to go to school, get married before 30, have kids, picket fence, and mortgage but it doesn't seem as common now.

I've seen a lot more possibility now than I did months back but I wonder at times if I am the only one who genuinely does not want the family life or monogamy in adulthood.

For others in the same boat, what are you going to do with your life?

Comments (52)

Oct 28, 2019

This is a tough one. I don't believe in pre-marital or extra-marital sex, but I also have zero desire--none whatsoever--to get married and have kids while I think about relations about 99% of waking hours. It's sort of like a mental prison. The solution I'm leaning towards is polygamy but, yeah, that's not super realistic given the social ostracization. So, I have no freakin' idea. I just know that I would be absolutely sick of sleeping with the same woman after about a month and bored with her entirely in 6 months, and that marriage for me could only end poorly for all parties involved.

It sucks because there is nothing better in this world than happy marriages, lots of children and pets, and a nice home. But it's not for everyone. It's kind of why I'm passionate about homebuilding--maybe I can build great, affordable middle-class houses for lots of newly forming families. It can be my contribution to the family in this world.

Oct 28, 2019
real_Skankhunt42:

This is a tough one. I don't believe in pre-marital or extra-marital sex, but I also have zero desire--none whatsoever--to get married and have kids while I think about relations about 99% of waking hours. It's sort of like a mental prison. The solution I'm leaning towards is polygamy but, yeah, that's not super realistic given the social ostracization. So, I have no freakin' idea. I just know that I would be absolutely sick of sleeping with the same woman after about a month and bored with her entirely in 6 months, and that marriage for me could only end poorly for all parties involved.

It sucks because there is nothing better in this world than happy marriages, lots of children and pets, and a nice home. But it's not for everyone. It's kind of why I'm passionate about homebuilding--maybe I can build great, affordable middle-class houses for lots of newly forming families. It can be my contribution to the family in this world.

https://d28hgpri8am2if.cloudfront.net/book_images/onix/cvr9781609911768/ripleys-believe-it-or-not-perfectly-peculiar-9781609911768_hr.jpg
It's out there. Believe it!

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 1
    • 1
Funniest
  • Associate 2 in CorpDev
Oct 29, 2019
real_Skankhunt42:

This is a tough one. I don't believe in pre-marital or extra-marital sex, but I also have zero desire--none whatsoever--to get married and have kids

..... it appears being celibate is what it takes to achieve Pro status on WSO

    • 12
Oct 29, 2019
Associate 2 in CorpDev:
real_Skankhunt42:

This is a tough one. I don't believe in pre-marital or extra-marital sex, but I also have zero desire--none whatsoever--to get married and have kids

..... it appears being celibate is what it takes to achieve Pro status on WSO

Lmao I wasn't celibate until a half year ago when I had a "Kanye" moment.

Oct 29, 2019
Associate 2 in CorpDev:

..... it appears being celibate is what it takes to achieve Pro status on WSO

laugh then sad

Oct 30, 2019

    • 1
Oct 29, 2019

You contradicted yourself multiple times in two paragraphs..

Oct 29, 2019
justphresh:

You contradicted yourself multiple times in two paragraphs..

Yes, which is exactly the point. When you have a worldview that contradicts your lifestyle that contradicts your intellectual desires and physical desires, you end up having contradictory feelings and behaviors. That was my exact point.

Nov 8, 2019

get yourself in with the burner / hippie crowd, plenty of poly folks there

Most Helpful
Oct 28, 2019

I see a lot of this and I think they're really going to regret it when they get older and all the good girls are settled down and it's just you and your sad single friends. You can't have 60 years of fulfilling casual sex. I'm real biased. Married 4 years at 27 with a kid on the way. But I think I'm right. It's like a moderate amount of responsibility to buy a house and get married and have a kid and help your parents out and all this kind of shit. Sure, being some sort of Jack Kerouac-esque character sounds more fun. But Jack Jerouac died of internal bleeding from alcohol in his mother's house.

I think there are exceptions. But I think those exceptions are really driven by some really specific goal for the most part if they're to remain content. Most people who choose the perma-loner life are taking a cheap and easy route out and they've tricked themselves that times have changed and blah blah blah, okay whatever, catch you in 20 years when I have adult children in my 50s and complete financial and time freedom and you're getting eyelid lifts and dating smoothie bar employees.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 12
Oct 29, 2019

Based on the Off Topic forum, half of this forum appears to be incels now so I'm expecting some colorful answers.

    • 4
Oct 29, 2019

So I used to think this way. I had some long term relationships end abruptly and figured that was it. I figured I'd work like crazy and just hook up with random girls and date them until they got tired of me not paying attention to them. Then I met the right girl and threw that dumb idea out the window.

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

    • 4
  • Associate 2 in CorpDev
Oct 29, 2019

I didn't choose the playa life, the playa life chose me

    • 1
Oct 29, 2019

I always thought this way, but found a girl who changed my views. It's not worth it unless you meet someone who checks all of your boxes and adds value to your life. Anything can happen at any time, but I could see us getting married.

I think I used to not be able to see myself getting married because of the types of girls I would 'date.' My girlfriend has actually made me a better person in a number of ways. She also works very hard which is inspiring. She doesn't need anything from me nor does she ask anything of me, that's also important IMO when you're thinking long term.

    • 2
Oct 29, 2019

Even Tucker Max has a wife and kids now. You can't sarge & slay forever.

Array

    • 1
Nov 8, 2019

wasn't that guy a big fat phony anyway

Oct 29, 2019

I thought I was gonna be a life long bachelor as well. But then I met my wife and she totally changed my views.

Married for 3 years now with an infant kid.

Oct 29, 2019

I mean there has to be plenty to do in terms of career advancement, building businesses, public service, etc. Family life isn't for everyone.

Oct 29, 2019

.

    • 3
Oct 29, 2019

The divorce rate for all marriages is something like 50% and for first-time marriages is something like 40%. Obviously, many, many people are not of the particular character for modern marriage. I have to think many of the other 60% aren't particularly happy in their marriages despite not getting divorced.

It's for many people, but marriage isn't for everyone.

Oct 30, 2019

It's not as if saying no to family life means that you spend life alone though, you still have plenty of friends to be around. If they move on to a new stage of life that's incompatible with your lifestyle, then it's time to go find some new friends. I see in New York a lot of people in their 40s and 50s who seem to be perpetually single, but have fulfilling and interesting lives. That would be preferable to most families' frankly mundane lives, IMO.

Oct 29, 2019

Seth Davis, "Tell me Harry, are you married or are you happy?"

Array

Oct 30, 2019

the best thing to do is not have a plan when the best results happen spontaneously. when I was searching for the right person, all I found was shallow bitches. when I wasn't searching, I met my now wife. >10 years later...we're still happy.

just allow life to happen and keep an open mind, you'll be much more at ease without the self imposed pressure of a plan not coming to fruition exactly the way you see it today

    • 3
Nov 4, 2019

+1

Oct 30, 2019

Wait... why the hell am I not a "pro" yet?

As for married life and no kids etc. you'll hear that more from this site because people are young. Most people don't maintain that mindset because they don't have the mental fortitude to navigate the solitude that comes with constantly being single. As for me, I would've liked to get married/ have a kid a bit older but it happened when it did and I'm happy with it. I can't stress enough how good having a kid feels - it's made me a better person. With that said, nothing wrong with side chics, just keep that shit casual (as in don't fall in love with the side chic). I'm not there yet (my relationship is young enough where I don't feel the need for a side chic) but give me like 10 years and I will be. It just is what it is. I love my GF and she needs to be the mother to all my children but I'll always wanna conquer new pussy.

    • 1
    • 4
  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Oct 31, 2019

And I'll see you in a decade complaining on this site when you lose half of your money to alimony due to chasing shallow girls.

Oct 31, 2019
BobTheBaker:

Wait... why the hell am I not a "pro" yet?

As for married life and no kids etc. you'll hear that more from this site because people are young. Most people don't maintain that mindset because they don't have the mental fortitude to navigate the solitude that comes with constantly being single. As for me, I would've liked to get married/ have a kid a bit older but it happened when it did and I'm happy with it. I can't stress enough how good having a kid feels - it's made me a better person. With that said, nothing wrong with side chics, just keep that shit casual (as in don't fall in love with the side chic). I'm not there yet (my relationship is young enough where I don't feel the need for a side chic) but give me like 10 years and I will be. It just is what it is. I love my GF and she needs to be the mother to all my children but I'll always wanna conquer new pussy.

We got a conqueror on our hands, fellas

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 2
Nov 4, 2019
GoldenCinderblock:

We got a conqueror on our hands, fellas

Just call me Hernan Cortes

    • 2
Nov 4, 2019

That's the key to life, most men who cheat get caught because most men's use who is around them. A woman traveling for work still keeps her sexual value, because it is implied through beauty, but a man's value or what women find valuable are usually made in context of social heirarchy, very difficult to gauge on a one-off basis.

Nov 4, 2019
BobTheBaker:

Wait... why the hell am I not a "pro" yet?

rookie numbers

Nov 6, 2019

Think you meant "chicc" lol gotta keep the c's wide

Oct 30, 2019

Mid 30s here. No opposition to the family life but needs to be on my terms, which means not settling for what 90% of the married guys I know have settled for. Namely a wife who sucks and a family life that has them constantly looking for an excuse to get out of the house.

I figure sometime in my early/mid 40's, when half my buds will be out on the prowl looking for wife #2, I'll join them as I find wife #1. It'll be like old times.

    • 3
Nov 4, 2019

Studies show that married people are happier and healthier. Casual sex is def not as good long-term as it seems. Dan Bilzerian himself said that it won't make you happy

Nov 5, 2019

I rather be a miserable bachelor getting laid a lot than a happily married man

    • 1
Nov 8, 2019

Sounds like a false dichotomy. You can be happily married and have fun with your wife a lot. Some people are in open marriages if that's your thing. But if you marry right, you can be well taken care of in that regard.

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

Nov 5, 2019

Never seen a happy 80 year old single dude...

Nov 8, 2019

Most men when they are older look for a mother or nurse figure. It seems when men are widowed they remarry quickly. I think a higher percentage of older women who are widowed stay single.

Nov 5, 2019

Damn, I was hoping I come across one Dan Bilzerian or future cool bachelor here :/

Nov 5, 2019
Comment
Nov 8, 2019