4/20/17

Not sure if anyone posted this yet but I noticed this article today on the front page of Yahoo Finance and I started laughing my ass off once I realized they were quoting a bunch of WSO'ers... here's the article, congrats to everyone who pitched in and trolled the whole world now.

Here's the link: Want a Job on Wall Street? 'Let Me Sleep With Your Girlfriend', followed by the article:

Want This Job? 'Let Me Sleep With Your Girlfriend'
By Cindy Perman | CNBC - 29 minutes ago.. [email protected] on Twitter..

Wall Street is rude, it's crude and it will eat you alive. So interviewing for a job on Wall Street is no different.

It's not a meet-and-greet tell-me-about this job or that experience. It's more like a punch in the face. They'll ask you hard questions, maybe inappropriate questions - all to see if you're going to be able to run with the big dogs - or if you need to get your behind back on the porch.

"They're looking for how you handle pressure. How you think on your feet. Are you the brightest of the bright? Are you a natural leader?" said Jeanne Branthover, head of global financial services at Boyden Global Executive Search.

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Wall Street Oasis, a job-search site for financial careers, recently pinged readers for the hardest questions they were ever asked on an interview for Wall Street. The answers included such zingers as:

*"You're going to be working 110 hours a week here. Can you even handle that?"
*Why don't you have any offers yet? What's wrong with you?"
*"What single word would you use to describe yourself so I don't walk out of here and forget you?" (Good answer: Unforgettable!)
*"What line on your resume is the most bull****?"
*"Do you view this as your dream career?" If you answer yes, "If in two years, you receive an offer for more money on the buyside, will you turn it down because this is your dream career?"
*In an interview for a Goldman Sachs (GS) analyst position, the interviewer asked: "If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?"
*"What's your outlook for cucumber prices over the course of 2012?"
*In an interview where there were two interviewers, the one who was supposed to be the silent No. 2 asked just one question: "Are you trying to f*** us over?" The kid froze, the interviewer wrote in a comment on WallStreetOasis.com. The No. 1 interviewer jumped in: "Why didn't you just say no?!"
*"If I told you that the only way you were going to get this job is if you let me sleep with your girlfriend, would you accept?"

When it comes to analytical questions like "What's your outlook for cucumber prices?" or "How many tennis balls could you fit in this room?," it's not about the answer.

"It doesn't mean you have the right answer - they're trying to see how your thought process works," Branthover said.

[More From CNBC: How to Spot a Liar - The Clues That Give Them Away]

The kiss-of-death answer to any of these questions is "I don't know."

"You answer 'I don't know' and that will get you out the door!" Branthover said.

Some of the other questions she said her clients have been asked include:
*If you could choose, what brand would you like to be and why?
*How many balls would it take to fill Central Park?
*Have you ever cheated on your partner?
*Did you ever tell a secret you promised to keep?
*What is the biggest lie you've told - to whom and why?
*Tell me, how would you go about killing a crocodile?

Questions for Wall Street jobs have always been tougher than those for most jobs, Branthover said, but they've gotten even tougher since the financial crisis.

"They want to know if you can really be a leader in tough times," Branthover said. A lot of these leaders hadn't been tested on that before the financial crisis. They survived and now they want to know - can you?

So, they may ask you questions like "What was one of the toughest decisions you had to make?" or "What was the hardest environment you've ever worked in?" Then, they'll want to know what you did to solve the problem, get through the tough situation - and what you might do differently today.

Plus, with all the layoffs on Wall Street, there are fewer people to do all the work, meaning they really want the best of the best, the brightest of the bright.

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When it comes to the inappropriate questions like sleeping with your girlfriend and cheating on your partner - the kind that would get the red light flashing in human resources at most companies - it's about seeing if you can handle how brutal Wall Street can be.

"They're trying to divide the men from the boys and the girls from the women," Branthover said. "If you have soft skin, you're not cut out for investment banking."

They're going to poke you with a stick and see how you react.

"They want to see that you're not rattled by rudeness; that you stay on your feet and don't look shocked," Branthover said.

You don't have to answer "Yes, you can sleep with my girlfriend" - you just have to not look shocked and have a quick comeback.

A good answer one person posted on Wall Street Oasis was: I've been with my girlfriend a long time and plan to marry her. If you so much as kiss her neck, I'd [bleeping] knock you out. That being said, I have a beautiful sister I'd be happy to hook you up with ...

And that, my friend, is a lesson in how deals get done on Wall Street!

Mod Note (Andy): Throwback Thursday - this originally went up 7/19/12

Comments (48)

7/19/12

BH, why did you copy past the article when you already posted the link???

Financial Modeling
7/19/12

Look at some of the comments left by people:

''TAX THEM TO DEATH''

''A GOOD Broker.....IS A DEAD ONE....
ROTTING UNDER 6 FEET OF FRESH CONCRETE.....''

''All of these are good reasons to never trust anyone on Wall Street''

7/19/12

Yahoo comments are fucking amazing.

7/19/12

Nice. I also found a Bloomberg Businessweek article that quoted WSO about sleeping at the office. If anyone's interested let me know.

8/1/12
Moneyball:

Nice. I also found a Bloomberg Businessweek article that quoted WSO about sleeping at the office. If anyone's interested let me know.

Ooooh I am! Link/title please?

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

8/1/12
Senvik:
Moneyball:

Nice. I also found a Bloomberg Businessweek article that quoted WSO about sleeping at the office. If anyone's interested let me know.

Ooooh I am! Link/title please?

Here you go brah: http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-19/sl...

Rogoszinski is by no means a lone clandestine sleeper. Comments on Wall Street Oasis, a Web forum popular among investment bankers, reveal an obsessive interest in daytime napping, with tips on "sleep hacking" (moving to polyphasic sleep schedules), recommendations on where to doze (bathroom stalls, conference rooms), and directions for how to act when caught (as if nothing unusual had happened). When nodding off on a toilet, "you clearly need the seat down for maximum comfort," advises one commenter, "which necessitates pants up to prevent your bare ass on the cold porcelain. Longest I ever slept uninterrupted without tipping over was two hours, from 4-6am."

8/1/12
Moneyball:

Here you go brah: http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2012-04-19/sl...

Thanks!

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer

4/20/17

"Journalism" has fallen so far to be quoting a message board. lol

26 Broadway
where's your sense of humor?

7/19/12

Beautiful.

As they say in banking:

Thx to the team for all your hard work.

Sent from my Blackberry device

7/19/12
bankerella:

Thx for your hard

Black device

you're welcome!

7/19/12

What kind of background does Cindy Perman have that she can write such an articulate, well thought out article?

Seriously, I am not sure if she was serious writing this article or what, but I think she just got trolled hard. That's what happens though when you copy your work, add a couple of your own sentences, and not cite your source with a link.

PS. The Yahoo comments..... haha

7/19/12
Nobama88:

What kind of background does Cindy Perman have that she can write such an articulate, well thought out article?

Seriously, I am not sure if she was serious writing this article or what, but I think she just got trolled hard. That's what happens though when you copy your work, add a couple of your own sentences, and not cite your source with a link.

PS. The Yahoo comments..... haha

Anyone else think we should send her a cordial invitation to do a real interview with us?

7/19/12
bankerella:
Nobama88:

What kind of background does Cindy Perman have that she can write such an articulate, well thought out article?

Seriously, I am not sure if she was serious writing this article or what, but I think she just got trolled hard. That's what happens though when you copy your work, add a couple of your own sentences, and not cite your source with a link.

PS. The Yahoo comments..... haha

Anyone else think we should send her a cordial invitation to do a real interview with us?

Patrick you should make this happen haha... we'll show her how it really goes down around here

I hate victims who respect their executioners

7/19/12
BlackHat:
bankerella:

Anyone else think we should send her a cordial invitation to do a real interview with us?

Patrick you should make this happen haha... we'll show her how it really goes down around here

This.

Comments are the best thing about any blog post.
"You will never find a more wretched hive of #$%$ and villainy"
Is there a mature language filter on Yahoo?

Currently: clinical psychologist (in training)
Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)

Financial Modeling
7/19/12

Invite her to the conference.

7/19/12
Xecit:

Invite her to the conference.

No, offer her a conference exclusive.

7/20/12
bankerella:
Xecit:

Invite her to the conference.

No, offer her a conference exclusive.

She has agreed to cover the WSO Conference and will be in attendance :-) -- be careful what you wish for.

7/19/12

Haha yes.

7/20/12

Yahoo comments give me AIDS

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

7/20/12

This is hilarious. Yet it makes me sad how little the average individual knows about what is really going on that causes them to get this angry.

7/20/12

People fear what they don't know

7/20/12

Those comments are pure gold :D.

Valor is of no service, chance rules all, and the bravest often fall by the hands of cowards. - Tacitus

Dr. Nick Riviera: Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court!

7/20/12

hey cnbc if your reading this

i love you meridith

7/20/12

Forwarded to my entire group. Everyone is still laughing.

Best Response
7/20/12
jpc100:

Forwarded to my entire group. Everyone is still laughing.

FWIW, everyone at my old fund knows I'm BlackHat now thanks to that "are you trying to f*** me" line. Thank them for finding this article in the first place, hahaha...

I hate victims who respect their executioners

4/20/17

hahaha +1sb

26 Broadway
where's your sense of humor?

7/20/12

what thread they pull this from ?

7/20/12

Let me guess, these are the same people who are shocked that soldiers kill people, that dogs bark, and that politicians lie? Oh mercy, the horror of it all.

paaaleeeze, whatevs

Get busy living

7/20/12

hahahaha these commets are just too good:

"It's easy to get a real job creating real value. It's tough to get a job as a vampire parasite at a vampire squid company that must invade, kill, steal, and lie for loot. New York City is a giant money sucking vacuum pump sucking real value out of the world. It's an evil place to work but evil does pay more then goodness in dollars. NYC is greedy egotistical people who want to take over the world. Still there are good people there too. Good luck to them."

...idiots

Brings the only saying to mind, "if you ask 10 people what they think of bankers, 11 will tell you they hate them."

"Well, you know, I was a human being before I became a businessman." -- George Soros

7/20/12
Futures Trader Man:

hahahaha these commets are just too good:

"It's easy to get a real job creating real value. It's tough to get a job as a vampire parasite at a vampire squid company that must invade, kill, steal, and lie for loot. New York City is a giant money sucking vacuum pump sucking real value out of the world. It's an evil place to work but evil does pay more then goodness in dollars. NYC is greedy egotistical people who want to take over the world. Still there are good people there too. Good luck to them."

...idiots

Brings the only saying to mind, "if you ask 10 people what they think of bankers, 11 will tell you they hate them."

10 of those 11 will probably think that they work at your local Chase branch.

7/20/12

I agree whole heartedly with the author, bankers and financiers are awful, terrible, crude sub humans who eat souls etc. That said, excuse me as I get back to this excel file Im working on.

Oh, and Maria Bartiromo, if youre watching this I love you.

"...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

  • Schopenhauer
7/20/12

This is too funny...i gotta stop reading these yahoo comments in the office

7/24/12

Saw CNBC quote Wall Street Oasis word by word and didn't give credit today. Same did the journalist, she said she only spoke with recruiters, traders and bankers, what a liar.

CNBC sucks

"This financial crisis is worse than a divorce. I've lost all my money, but the wife is still here." - Client after getting blown up

7/24/12
Working9-5:

Saw CNBC quote Wall Street Oasis word by word and didn't give credit today. Same did the journalist, she said she only spoke with recruiters, traders and bankers, what a liar.

You're like the 3rd person to say something about this but I didn't see it... does anyone have a link or maybe just a decent re-hashing of what they said?!

I hate victims who respect their executioners

7/24/12
BlackHat:
Working9-5:

Saw CNBC quote Wall Street Oasis word by word and didn't give credit today. Same did the journalist, she said she only spoke with recruiters, traders and bankers, what a liar.

You're like the 3rd person to say something about this but I didn't see it... does anyone have a link or maybe just a decent re-hashing of what they said?!

...paging WSO legal dept

Get busy living

7/24/12
BlackHat:
Working9-5:

Saw CNBC quote Wall Street Oasis word by word and didn't give credit today. Same did the journalist, she said she only spoke with recruiters, traders and bankers, what a liar.

You're like the 3rd person to say something about this but I didn't see it... does anyone have a link or maybe just a decent re-hashing of what they said?!

http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?video=3000105063
Plus some random quotes all through lunch.

CNBC sucks

"This financial crisis is worse than a divorce. I've lost all my money, but the wife is still here." - Client after getting blown up

7/24/12

Wow.... they totally lifted everything off this site. SUE SUE SUE

I hate victims who respect their executioners

7/24/12

Not only is it sad that they're not giving credit, it's even worse that they're using online message boards for their reporting while acting like they're getting it from legit sources.

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

7/24/12
wolverine19x89:

Not only is it sad that they're not giving credit, it's even worse that they're using online message boards for their reporting while acting like they're getting it from legit sources.

This. As a former journalist myself, this pisses me off to no end.

Currently: clinical psychologist (in training)
Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)

7/24/12
7/24/12

Ya I saw that on CNBC. Holy shit, I just lost a ton of respect for them. They took credit for reporting something they didn't even come close to doing. That reporter should be banned from tv.

7/24/12

Write an email, I did. Probably not gonna do anything, but hell...

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

7/25/12

I was watching this today and laughed my ass off when I realized they jacked some quotes from WSO. They took their information from an online message board with anonymous posters that could literally be anyone in the world. Hell, I could've posted in that thread if I had come up with something clever, and I could have said that it was from an interview that I had at Goldman Sachs. It's pretty pathetic that a major news network would steal from a site like WSO in the first place, and even more pathetic that the reported responsible then lies about the source. Definitely a reminder to be a huge sceptic about everything that you hear on the news.

On the other hand, it's very cool that WSO was referenced in the article that Black Hat linked to. Good publicity for the website.

7/25/12

Look ma, I'm on TV!!!!

7/25/12

Is this "journalist" coming to the WSO Conference?

8/3/12

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