Help w/ Cover Letter -- english is my 2nd language

Hey guys –
I am big fan of the advice for wall street on this site, and I need some advice as well. I am a 3rd year at a non-target University. I know it’s hard to get a good position from a non-target University, but I am really excited to apply for jobs (on campus+networking) for investment banking, but english is my 2nd language. So please share comments for my DRAFT cover letter below if you have them. (Yes, I know I am late for recruiting this year, but I think a well crafted cover letter can give me a shot.) Thanks. :-)

Mr. David Preiser, Senior Managing Director
Houlihan Lokey
245 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10167-0001

November 12, 2009

Dear Mr. Preiser,

As an undergraduate student at a semi-target state school, I am writing to apply for an investment banking analyst position at your firm. I am attracted to your firm, because I want to work in a place that is high-speed and top-of-the-line, where I could learn to handle great responsibility early in my career. Your firm seems to be doing well in this quagmire of the economy, and I think this is only possible in a boutique bank. Obviously, I am very interested in coming to work with your company, as I’ve heard many positive descriptions of it through the media, magazines and the Internet, which has inspired me to apply.

In turn, I would like to inspire YOU in this letter and illustrate what I can contribute to the table, and how my classroom experience, work experience, and personal attributes make me tremendously qualified for success at your firm.

As a third year student, I have prepared considerably through my course selection. In addition to finance and accounting related coursework, I also took several macroeconomics and microeconomics classes. I have been accepted into difficult classes and have gotten along tremendously with tough professors, and have remained in good grades throughout my career.

Last summer, I worked as a commercial lending intern at [Bank X]. I worked on various projects for the corporate lending team, and became close with the company’s financial statements to help them make the best decisions.

For my three university years, I have been closely following news of the financial world, meeting with alums and veterans of The Street to get a better grip on their jobs, and assuming large amounts of responsibility for our school’s investment club. I am currently advisor to the Chief Investment Officer for the school’s $100K student-run fund.

I am proficient in MS Office packages like Access, Excel and PowerPoint. I have developed interpersonal skills, leadership skills, and management skills. I consider that my education, knowledge and experience will more than match with your requirements.

Thank you, and I look forward to meeting you – and thanks for your time and consideration. If you have any questions, you can contact me at my number in my enclosed resume.

Sincerely yours,

Determined Candidate

Also working on my resume to make it sharp, will post on the site in a few days, so that the professionals can offer their opinion/advice…