Im currently in school. Im really curious for the older members of WSO, what you wish you knew when you were younger about dating and women, how your perception of women has changed, and how relationships seem to mature with older age.
If you think you are with someone great in University, would it be stupid to stay with them?
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I met my wife in college. Things are going great. It can work if you are with the right girl and focus a lot on communication. Life goals might change, plans will change, such is life. Be able to communicate openly and work as a team and it can be very successful.
Date amap in school. After IB, there's a high chance you can't think women in banking without thinking a word begins with D, provided you are on the other end of the spectrum.
what
D for divorce
Younger: all that mattered was if she was hot and not illiterate
Now: still needs to be attractive but I also pay attention to habits and lifestyle since those catch up to you more quickly than when in college. Personality and intelligence are now equally if not more important since I now have less patience for boring conversations, illogical arguments, irresponsible behavior and having to sit through 4 hour blocks of reality tv. All I want is to date a grown adult who takes care of herself without being completely self absorbed or insane but that seems impossible in ny tbh
Uh... didn't you get the memo? The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though god knows what the f*** that means, are ugly chicks.
Incel Oasis strikes again
Guys this is from a movie...cmon
The fact that this has so much monkey sh*t (or even helpful rather than funny SBs) indicates a lot of posters here didn't get the reference...
And this is because they have to make up for how f***ing unnattractive they are. Seriously tho the number of MS you are getting is so sad. American psycho is my Bible. Lol.
I hear such bad things about dating in NYC. Is it really that impossible to find a good woman in a city with millions of people?
You will have your pick of 25 year olds who are nowhere near as smart or interesting as they think they are, 30 year olds whose parents still cosign their leases and have only dreams but no plans or 35 year olds who gave up their youth to become hyper successful but want Bill Ackman, not you.
There are some who fall in between these categories but they usually have zero personality and will only talk incessantly about food and traveling. You will date a million different girls yet somehow have a million of the exact same conversation about how they love Via Carota and St Barts.
Two of my friends found good ones here but one was from work and the other was an anomaly
SB'd as completely agree. When I was 21 years old, my ideal future wife would have been some glamorous super-hot fashion model (even if she wasn't so bright). Now at 30, I haven't dated any fashion models but I have had a number of girlfriends who were objectively very attractive but not that bright/self-absorbed/immature/irresponsible.
I know this might sound crazy (and I wouldn't have agreed with it when I was 21) but the novelty of dating someone super-hot wears off very quickly if they have other noticeable flaws. One ex-girlfriend I had was smoking hot, and in the first couple of months of dating I would feel a rush every time we went out together in public (I'm ok-looking I guess but certainly no Brad Pitt) - but fast-forward 6 months and her other personality traits grated on me so much that I didn't even find her that attractive anymore.
It could be just the girls I've dated, but I've found a lot of super-hot girls (but by no means all I'm sure) have relied on their looks to be "interesting" so much that they've neglected other areas of their development/personality. I.e. they can get away with being immature or vapid/social media obsessed because guys will still tolerate that. It gets old fast.
So yeah anyway, completely agree with the above post - I would now take a pretty 7/10 who was well-educated (or even just relatively smart/not ignorant) and had her sh*t together, over some immature 9/10 any day of the week. At 30 I'm really starting to look at someone to share the rest of my life with, and trust me you don't want to partner up with a stunner who is a trainwreck in every other area of her life - her looks will fade (and the novelty of her looks will fade much faster), and once you're tethered together in marriage she'll ultimately drag you down with her. I've seen that in a couple of my friends who've married relative stunners who they weren't exactly compatible with. And marriage should be a mutually beneficial partnership, where you both complement each others' strengths - not just an exchange of looks for money/success (although I'm sure that works for some people).
Maybe not everybody thinks like me. But I think there's a reason why a lot of billionaires you see are married to wives who are pretty but not necessarily 10/10 stunners - because they're also smart, driven women who have their lives together and add value to their husbands' lives as well. I obviously don't know these tech/wall street billionaires, but I can imagine people like them would run out of things to talk about pretty quickly with some 10/10 vapid Instagram model.
Big difference in how the addressable market changed - in your teenage years /early college years you are most likely around women who are your own age or slightly younger. Older, adult women might not be into boys, they prefer a bit more mature guys. (at least that was my experience)
Now, that I am more mature, more accomplished and have gone through a decade, I found that a lot more women are interested. The age range is really much larger, from 18-31(ish) compared to just 17-20 before. Big advantage.
My perception of women has changed a bit, I still like the same (physical) type, but with more "class" if possible. Girls who are ideally educated, possibly with interesting hobbies or skills like singing, languages, or similar.
I hear this a lot. Women being more interested in older men. Is that really the case ? do you have to wait around til your 30 to find someone lol?
Look, I didn't believe this myself when I was 17-18. I thought, why would any girl out there want a dude who is 10 years older? It is not something that happens overnight. There was no date, month or special birthday to announce to all the cute girls - hey, I am older. They just know it instinctively.
When I was in high school or even in early college years, I was a boy. Not a man. Childish even. No real responsibilities, no real job, just having fun and giving ladies a great time. Those relationships weren't real. They were just experiments for both. It is super rare that high school sweethearts walk down the aisle, imo.
Thinking back how I spoke to girls, how I planned dates, what I even did with them ... - it now feels like I was on a different planet compared to today. When you get older as a man you...
- learn what responsibilities are
- realize that your own life is limited through time and medical conditions (which makes you consider creating life)
- learn that your own family members won't be there much longer (and that you are "next" in line to carry the flag)
- are more accomplished in your career and have probably people working for you (which makes you feel responsible for them)
Somehow, women realize this when they talk to you. The experienced ones can even feel it without a date. They just know.
This doesn't mean you have to wait that long to find the right one, but the ladies out there might have to wait a few years longer to get the best version of you!
I think you need to get out a little more. Women have been interested in older men since the beginning of time.
I CAN NOT DATE anyone under 21, just too dumb at that age. Also, getting a sex pack and staying all round lean makes (dating-)life a lot of easier. Dont fall for the "just bulk bro girls like strong man" bs. Get lean, get pussy.
Now: I still dont date fat chicks. Bonus points if she has real hobbies/passion.
A sex pack? Now that sounds hot!
So quick poll. it seems like as a male, dating prospects improve at around age 30.
Would you consider dating around until that age to finally settle down?
I am around that age and I am still dating, highly suggest people should wait until this age and then see what age difference works best.
Real tough to find a girl who hasn't hoed around tbh. Like damn near impossible.
Feel sorry for you bro.
"Your past does not define you"
- Mia Khalifa
Great, the more hookup options you have then.
And if you're looking for a virgin, you can go to a Muslim country - I would recommend Morocco. Just visit big cities and swipe on Tinder and meet them up. There are a lot of beautiful, well-educated, open-minded Muslim women who speak English (and plus 1-2 more languages) who are dreaming about marrying an American/European.
I feel sorry for you if your standards are that low. Sheesh!
I mean I don't have that many hangups but jesus fucking christ basically zero women over the age of 22 with less than 5 dudes who smashed
Are you judging yourself by these same standards? Would be surprising/impressive if so lol
Echoing above that intelligence has become much more of a factor as I get older. Still dating at 30 but expecting to settle down in late 30s
I never knew the depths of crazy a woman can get when I was younger.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Date with the intention of going all the way. A wife and kids, I mean. Don't bother with bumble and shit. Love is real, you just have to find it.
Is had significantly declined as I mostly interact with women from apps and realize they’re like men with the same intentions
hihi
“They” are not “stealing” “our jobs”. Just because diversity recruiting is done wrong doesn’t mean that finance is a man’s job and that there shouldn’t be diversity of genders
They took ‘er JoBS!!!
College GF broke up with me last week. I´m far too much into smart and difficult girls, honestly. Not much time left.
1) Don't get anyone pregnant and always use protection
2) You will have plenty of time in your late 20's and even early 30's to settle down (a time when your SMV is at its peak), just have fun in college and your early 20's.
3) If the right girls does come along do stay with her but don't rush anything and actually make sure she's gf/wife material.
The value of a true partnership, with someone who you respect as your equal. If you find that, do not let it go for anything. Period.
Outside of that - you attract what you put out. If you are a mess, living like a frat boy at 27 you shouldn't expect to find someone who is any different. Everyone wants an NYC 10, who's got a career, smart, ambitious - then whines when they expect a similar level of put togetherness. Figure your own shit out first, the rest will take care of itself.
Being honest about what you want out of life and your relationship is also important. I don't care if you are a serial dater for your whole life - don't be an asshole, don't be disrespectful and be up front. It's not hard. Don't treat people like meat.
Last thing on this - you are the only person who should determine who you date or stay with. If you are happy - why ditch it? There's nothing wrong with finding someone in college and staying with them. Sure... it's fun to talk about how men age better than women, stay single as long as you can, have fun - and for some people, that's a great path. Good for them. But it's not the only path. Monogamy doesn't make you less of a man nor does having a low count of partners throughout your life. Find what works for you, and then just let the rest go.
This. Has been my mantra for some time. Surprising how few people are willing to make the decision to figure things out.
1. If you’re the CEO of your life, look for a COO, not a secretary
2. It’s not your girl, it’s just your turn
3. For every hot chick, there’s some guy that’s tired of fucking her
I am more than ever in my life into butts and legs.
This is an underrated post. Legs>ass>face>boobs. A woman's score is attractiveness*(personality + education + family background +....).
Yeah, I've always actually seen tits as like a sweet bonus that comes with women and I'll be happy with anything. But yeah your order there is basically the determining factor for me. I'd add "overall body shape" but I don't know how you'd factor that in because it's composed of the other stuff. Also, something to keep in mind is if a girl with good leg (the ass is really a major leg component if we're being honest)/torso genetics starts eating right and lifting - and if she already has a pretty face (even on a fat girl, you can tell who's pretty and who's not), she gets super super hot. If a girl with those skinny eastern euro blonde bimbo type genetics starts lifting and eating right, she looks overly lean and lanky. And often times, their faces get real bony and their tits shrink down to like Cs and a lot of them end up getting implants because they're used to getting more titty attention so they get implants. And a bimbo is born.
One thing I would like to add that I haven't seen here yet is don't be afraid to date outside your comfort zone or try things out with girls that have very different backgrounds than you. I found this to be one of the more rewarding things I did when I was 18-24.
Also, it shouldn't matter what your friends think. Yes, if they think the girl is toxic or bad for you, listen to them. But if her interests don't align directly with yours / your friends, that isn't necessarily a bad thing (eg all of my friends date girls who are down to watch football all Sunday. I dont watch football so naturally this wasn't part of my criteria).
Also, who you date will change you (e.g. dating a party girl vs a goody goody), so factor this into where youre at in life. Nothing against either type of girl, but get the party girls out of your system while youre young, they are not wife material. Who wants to marry the girl they stay up until 4 AM fucking and doing blow with? Think about the long-term repercussions.
Lastly, when you get into a very serious relationship, try and take a breather for a week or so every year so you can take a step back and really evaluate how things are going. When youre spending every second with someone sometimes you are looking at things through the lens of the relationship not what is best for you. I am by no means a relationship expert, but these are the things I wish I had known early on and did not see in here.
Recent grad here, just going to pass down what older peers and friends have told me while applying the small bit of knowledge I have picked up. Your perception and philosophy on relationships depends on realizing what you want, experience, and efforts towards actualizing. Friend of mine stayed with their spouse from HS, through Uni, all the way to working at a startup together after college. Didn't work out between them and that happens man, just know what your intention is. Ultimately, these things aren't black and white... you need to determine what the motivating factors may be on your end and possibly on her end.
Someone was joking with me once and told me that your value will go up towards women in their 20's when you have a few more years under your belt, start dressing cleaner, and regularly wear leather shoes. I personally believe that what you want in a partner should not be one-sided, you need to embody some of those positive traits in which you seek. My younger relationships were based on physical appearance and proximity, dating someone for a long time and growing up together showed me that it's more about how you two stimulate each other cognitively.
Gee. You think both parties are expected to bring something to a relationship? Deep.
Typically after 8 beers my perception of 5 morphs into an 8.
Found a between the sheets mix on youtube.
You listen to that during sex??? I prefer Christmas Classics.
I'll chime in for the sad bois --> the key to success in relationships (and honestly most aspects of your life) start from within, aka you must love yourself (in a non vain / conceited way) and respect yourself. Because if you don't, nobody else will either. You should constantly be working on improving yourself - know your weaknesses and actually work on them, do not make excuses nor blame others. Moreover, it is not your significant others' job to heal and fix you, that is your responsibility (note, there is a distinction between love/support and healing/fixing). Also, hold yourself to the same standard that you hold your desired partners to - nobody likes a hypocrite :)
also have some respect and don't waste others peoples' (and your own) time on things/relationships that you know you are unhappy with
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