78 Comments
 

The Meat Hammer Fund

Partners In Maximizing Profits (PIMP) Capital

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

Humorous Idea: IFIYFO (I'm fucking in you're fucking out) Capital Management

Real Idea: Red Cliff Capital

Some of my favorites from the real world: The Children's Fund (brilliant way to dodge heat by making it sound like a charity) Blackstone-just sounds badass

There have been many great comebacks throughout history. Jesus was dead but then came back as an all-powerful God-Zombie.
 

Well, one choice would be Frieds & Company (with Frieds being substituted for my actual last name). I've always like that whole "& Co." type name.

If I felt like an homagey time name, I would go with Voodoo Capital Management in honor of Zimbabwe Ben, Turbo Timmeh and The Krugmanites (They are like deadites but far worse). The other homage would be TUEA (Teachers Union Extortion Association) Capital Management, with a 10 and 50 structure and no watermarks in the least bit, and my clients would like it because, like the NJEA, it's all about making sure you invest in your children's mediocre future while funding my fat paycheck.

The other choice I would seriously consider using, besides Frieds & Company, is Storm Peak Capital Management.

 

Cell Block Capital Management

tag line: Rapin' bitches so you don't have to!

Regards

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan
 

Enron Capital Management

"Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."
 
Nouveau Richie

Short Term Capital Management

brilliant
"I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
 
squirtlezKanto Partners

Which city is the major Finance city in Kanto? I'm thinking Saffron or Celadon.

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
 
Nouveau RichieMadoff Tourre and Company

Madoff Tourre Kiervel & Co. I like

"The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path" -Frank Underwood
 

agree on the The Children comment, it sounds kinda nice too, also like the & co. thing but it's better suited for a merchant bank/pe fund since it's a hf it has to end in capital management then i'd pick a nice place name, like a beach or a mountain (avoid boring, gay and/or fail places)... and there you got a hf name ... don't use your name unless you're well known in the industry or are old money.

finally add some spices like offshore value strategic long short special situations arbitrage oportunity fund (thx ehf3...)

avoid the blacksomething name, way too ghetto

 
Gray Fox

I somehow missed this thread over the past three years. SB's to the first person who gets the reference:

Boomstick Capital Management

To answer that one, and that's only because I haven't been following old threads over a very long time - the answer to that ties back to what I said about the Krugmanites being worse than deadites.

Now here's the question, did you get that gorgeous American Made twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington, with its a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and hair trigger at S-Mart? Did you Shop Smart?

 
Frieds Gray Fox:

I somehow missed this thread over the past three years. SB's to the first person who gets the reference:

Boomstick Capital Management

To answer that one, and that's only because I haven't been following old threads over a very long time - the answer to that ties back to what I said about the Krugmanites being worse than deadites.

Now here's the question, did you get that gorgeous American Made twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington, with its a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and hair trigger at S-Mart? Did you Shop Smart?

Not only did I shop Smart, I shopped S-Mart

 

Rock Pond Capital Stone Lake Capital Oak Bench Capital Gunna Be Awesum, Trust Me Capital Random Town Name Capital

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

Morning wood capital

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it
 

A good amount of hedge fund names a) make no sense to the average person ex: Raptor Evolution, Capitalist-pig Asset Management, Greenlight or b) induce face-palm ex: Man Group, SAC Capital, Genius Hedge Fund or c) lack creativity as they are named after objects, rocks, lakes, landmarks, etc ex: LTCM, Rockledge Capital, Passport Capital, Pershing Square, or d) hedge funds using the managers initials/last name followed by capital. My potential names would include: Variations of my name: DTL Partners D. Lou Investment Group Objects: Fork Capital, Spoon Capital, Plate Partners, Cup Capital, Faucet Capital, Lamp Capital, Calculator Capital, Note-card Capital, Keyboard Capital, Blanket Capital, Pillow Capital, iPad Capital, Ceiling Fan Blade Capital, Monitor Stand Capital Lack Creativity: Large Mountain Capital, Blue Sky Capital, Green Grass Capital, Black Asphalt Capital, Time Square Capital, 1+1=2 Capital, Yellow Egg Yolk Capital, Warm Blanket Capital, While Polar Bear Investments Make no sense: Colossal Squid Capital, Green Lantern Investments, Schwarzenegger's Bicep Capital, Obamacare Asset Management, Protein Capital Induce face-palm: ASS Partners, EMO Group, BRO Group, Ho Group and Yo Capital = for my Asian brothers, BS Capital, Girl Group, Kids Group, Woman Group, Hedge Fund, LLC = I wonder if this is taken or legal

Value investor working in the hedge fund industry. Portfolio Manager, Analyst at a $380+ million Texas-based value investing HF. Former Research Consultant, Analyst at a NYC-Based deep value and special situations HF.
 

Shot Callin' Capital - Straight Ballin' Capital - Bladez Fund - D & A & L & P & B & J & K & Co. - Wolf Pack Capital - Fluffy Kitty - Capital Etc & Etc & Co. I like this game.

 

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