Marriage - What am I missing here?
Marriage seems to only make sense if you want kids. I simply do not understand why it should be a societal norm.
Before you accuse me of being an incel, I've been in a relationship for the past two years with someone I love. Additionally, they actually make more than me (we both make 6 figures and the variance is about 20k pre-tax). They have far more saved than me, and are an objectively good person.
However, I cannot shake the feeling that people change how they feel about everyone over time, including toward their SO. My parents are divorced, my parent's parents are divorced (on both sides), and it makes me extremely hesitant. My parents aren't some redneck trailer trash folks who got married at 18, they are both self-made doctors who dated for over 5 years before getting married.
Why don't more people go the civil union route? Why is there this massive obligation to spend the rest of your life with just one person? I've seen love fade over time, and I've seen people's perspectives change over time. Proof of how much you love someone should be gauged by how you treat them, the lengths you would go to help them, and how much time you spend with them. The amount you spend on a ring/marriage and a legal document is meaningless. Plenty of married men beat their wives. Plenty of married wives cheat on their husbands and hate their guts.
I would never ever sign a written document to stay with a company indefinitely, regardless of how they treated me. I have had the same best friend for about a decade, and nothing holds that in place. Even with immediate family, you have no obligation to keep them in your life as you become an adult. I realize all three of these comparisons are very different than marriage, but the point I am trying to make is that you are not tied to anyone or anything else in life. I am trying to say that no matter how much you love something, it is wild to assume you will feel the same way 10, 20, 30, and especially 40 years later.
I realize that if you intend on having children (which most married) couples do, there are a considerable amount of benefits to being married. But can someone please explain to me why it makes sense to marry someone if you do not intend on having children?
What happens if your SO gives up and stops trying? What happens if you cheat on your SO, or they cheat on you? What happens if they do something unforgivable? What if after one year of marriage, they become a completely different person? I realize all of these are worst case scenarios, but sadly I've seen them all play out. With brilliant, well off couples, that you would think are living the American dream.