Pregnant incoming analyst
I don't need anyone's moral condemnation so please leave that out. I just need good sound advice. I have ruled out abortion. Not an option.
I interned last summer in risk management and got the full-time offer to start this summer. I'll be around 16 weeks when I start. My family is supportive and will do everything they can to take care of him/her while I work. Long-term boyfriend will still be in school another year. I know, by far the least ideal situation but again, I'm not willing to give the baby up. I'd be willing to take the minimum amount of time off (just enough to physically recover) after delivery. Despite this, are they legally allowed to take away pregnancy benefits since I'm a new hire? Am I a shoe-in for layoff next round? Can they find a way to fire me if my work is still good?
IMO you should not be working period while pregnant never mind 80-100 hours a week, when you baby is born he/she is going to need you. Wish you all the best in attempting to work crazy hours while pregnant/dealing w morning sickness etc
I would never have let my wife work when she was pregnant. But BOL
Yes ideally I wouldn't be working but my family and I are not in a financial situation where I can just stop working entirely. My hours are thankfully closer to 50-60 and I know if worse comes to worst, I will give up everything for the child. But I'd like to salvage what I can and try to provide stable income.
My guess - if you are in the US and are working for a name brand bank - then you will get benefits, even if you're new
You will need to confirm all of this with HR / highly unlikely anyone on wso can tell you this
Have to ask - do you find it ironic that you're working in risk management? Hope you appreciate humor + good luck!
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Congrats on the baby by the way also. Hope it is a healthy baby and wish you the best in dealing with the pregnancy and new, demanding job.
It is my impression that life begins at childbirth, and not the other way around. This sounds like it's going to be a heavy sacrifice, but if you're willing to do it and your family is backing you then it should be doable. You're going to have to bring your A game at work, so if the firm tries to can you, you will have a solid legal case that it's unethical. Realistically, you want to position yourself like political plutonium: you'll be so dangerous that no one will want to touch you, and then from there you just be cool and stay off the radar. Anyone firing a mom for pregnancy right now understands that the media will cut them to shreds given the more liberal political atmosphere. Again though, just make sure your work is up to par or more, so that you can't be singled out based on that. If there's an issue where you're marginalized too much because of your child, you want to know that you can go on the offensive and win. Two women where I work have recently had children, and although I'd personally not advocate for short maternity leave, they decided to come back when they could.
Best of luck! ....and consult a GOOD lawyer just in case.
This ^^
It will depend some on your firm, but banks are trying very hard to gain public favor, or at the very least avoid more ridicule. Pushing out a pregnant woman would be VERY bad PR right now. The wife of one of my good friends recently got pregnant about 2 weeks into her first year as an analyst at a BB (AM division, not IBD). She told them she was just going to quit now. They kept trying to assure her over and over again that being pregnant was not a problem and that they would do anything they could to get her to stay, even offering to let her work from home whenever she needed to so she didn't have to make the long commute.
In reality you have a fair amount of power in your position. It is absolutely illegal to fire a woman for being pregnant and even if there were different issues, most companies will avoid firing a pregnant woman just to avoid even the appearance of discrimination.
This, take it up with HR. No manager wants to be the subject of an anti-discrimination suit. Pregnancy is regarded as a disability. I believe if you're a full time hire then your probationary period before benefits shouldn't be so long. Don't worry, you should be protected by the law if everything is documented.
Also, I suggest taking the full amount of time off that you are entitled to. We all pay taxes so you should take all the benefits that you are entitled to. Trust me, work will move on without you and will be there when you come back.
As for postpartum, take the time that you can so you can breastfeed. You'll be breast pumping during your breaks at work. Looks like you're in risk and not IBD so accommodation shouldn't be too difficult.
My last piece of advice, get as much help as you can. Ask friends, relatives, siblings, and your parents to help while you're at work. Best of luck and congrats.
A knocked up first year analyst, starting a career in risk management... funniest thing heard in a while, oh the irony. In all seriousness, talk to HR/people you know well at the firm you are entering -- best to prepare them for you taking time off. Goodluck
Good luck, you can do it if your hours are 50-60/wk. By the time you are starting work you will be over your morning sickness and tired phase (most likely) and hitting the second trimester where you will have much more energy.
Don't give up on your career!!! It will all work out. Also, these guys on this forum may be the worst group to get advice from on this topic...
Sincerely, - chick with a school age kid.
this
That is some bad risk management on your part.
Just talk with HR and you will be fine. Risk management isn't IBD. If you were in banking I would probably try and find a job more conducive to raising an infant, but risk should be flexible enough. Just make sure your performance is fine as I could see some grumblings (both men and women). Shit happens though and no bank is going to can you for this.
Agree with this. Make sure HR knows about this NOW. BCC yourself in all communications with them.
Also: block out the grumbling of women in particular. Most chicks are pretty supportive of pregnant women, but for some reason, some chicks are the most hateful people on earth when it comes to working with another pregnant woman. Has anyone else seen this? It kind of shocked me.
This is correct. A big bank is not going to want to risk (no pun intended) a lawsuit because of a first year analyst, and especially not in a middle office role. Pregnancy is a protected class based on discrimination law.
http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/pregnancy.cfm
That being said, I would be remiss if I stopped in here and didn't criticize your ridiculous life choices. Get a god damn abortion, or at the very least delay working for a year or two.
You want her to KILL her baby? That's fucking insane.
Why should she get an abortion?
How old are you? Kids? Adult responsibilities? Clearly not. Stop giving adult advice when you are clearly still a child.
How about intelligence condemnation?
Says the nihilist.
I'm pretty sure his name is a homophone for "analyst." at least, that's how I took it.
Is risk management a BO/MO role? If so, your normalized hours will be a pretty standard 40 hours/week. They definitely cannot legally take away any of your benefits, but I'd imagine it would be hard for anyone to disprove getting canned for "performance" reasons.
This is why I'm suggesting working a bit better/more than everyone else. It rules out some bullshit termination. Plus, if her family needs the money and can help with the kid, here's her chance to make good. OWN this job.
I don't think she has anything to worry about though, provided she talks to HR. Banks are desperate for good PR and this is the last problem they want to have to do damage control on. Congrats to OP for being in the right time of history.
No boss is going to give a shit. If I was some VP/Director in a MO risk position I would just over work some other analyst. Like who cares. Peers will probably bitch, but no upper level person is going to care or risk their career to can a pregnant women.
I wouldn't go to HR until after you have started working for them. In theory its the right thing to do but its not always the best practice. Especially if you have not started working full time.
since we are on the topic of irony...i find it even more ironic that most likely 100% of the posters bashing you havent been laid in..oh i dunno..ever?
Talk to an employment lawyer before saying anything at all to HR. I don't think anyone on here can tell you what to do with 100% certainty, but the right lawyer can tell you how to proceed.
Go for it, hope no issues arise but if they fire you or even find a way of withdrawing your offer, sue the shit out of them. Win, win.
You can't be sure until you consult HR/a lawyer but my guess is that they would be more accomodating than you think. For a big bank the potential PR risk of disciminating against a pregant woman outweighs your healthcare costs/lost productivity.
Otherwise, congrats on the baby. And I hope your first child be a masculine child.
Life happens. I am an atheist but I vehemently oppose abortion.
You are a brave person and all I can say is good luck.
Aaannnnd shit show in 3, 2, 1.....
Pro Choice WSO Happy Hour, soon? Chalk it up.
I prefer the Anti-Choice Happy Hour, where cheap vodka and box-o-wine is shoved down your throat against your will.
Uh, in. See ya out there.
Girl made the decision to keep the kid. I think this debate is kind of moot. If you really want to argue pro-life / pro-choice ......go on reddit for Christ sake.
And the poo storm has started, none of which I threw. Let the fear of real truth commence.
You're the clown giving an unsolicited opinion.
She clearly stated that abortion is out of the question, retard.
I threw it. Suck it up, buttercup. Must every thread devolve into a bunch of kvetching 20 something, frustrated paper jockeys?
Girl asked for advice on how to make it through the pregnancy without losing her job. All this other stuff, well, ever stop and ask yourself "maybe I have a point, but maybe I'm also being an jerkof for no reason?" Go sit in the corner and examine your motives.
Or let me spell it out for the emotionally retarded: no one cares what your opinion is of her situation, it's hard enough....help or shut the fuck up already.
Haha, congrats on making my shit list bud.
Random question, why are you the only person on here that has 10,000+ posts and didn't certify your account? Something seems off.
My reaction was overblown, so for what it's worth: I'm sorry I was so flat out nasty. For the record though, I can't imagine a different response at the time: a scared young person asking for help AND showing this forum the courtesy of requesting focus on the task at hand...with the conversation degenerating into misguided 'moral' scrutiny and exegesis of abortion ethics? Newsflash: they made a hard choice and they know it. I'd like to think we are capable of showing some decency for someone willing to keep moving forward constructively.
I can imagine that some of the members here are capable of better than today's performance.
As for verifications and implied gravitas, mind your business. All you need to know is I'm some guy at a bank who came from some hard times and bad company, and who makes it a point to help others wishing to build a better life for themselves. A debate can rage on but then life keeps moving and you shake it off. Sometimes, you're better off just cooling down and walking away. It's not worth it.
Peace.
Wow.
I mean listen, I am Malthusian as the next person, but nothing I hate more than not answering the question posed.
She already considered an abortion and ruled it out. She is college educated (at least 22 also) and has a good job. She isn't the poster child of people who should have an abortion. And realistically, she is going to be out for a short time period and then come back to work and be fine. Most banks in big cities have on-site child care or other amenities (or large companies do) so as long as she gets some assistance from family things should be fine.
Hopefully the boyfriend will man up and at least financially help with things once he graduates. If not you will have a good job and benefits.
This is a public discussion forum. Just because someone started a thread doesn't mean they (or anybody else) control what people choose to comment on or discuss. The mods can delete whatever they want.
oh cool so let´s talk about getting bedazzled. It´s a discussion forum, so I can post about whatever I want.
Jesus, this is the caliber of posters we have today?
No doubt, you can say whatever you want, but the chick already said she isn't getting an abortion. I mean I think it makes more sense to provide advice within the constraints of the question asked instead of answering that she should do something she already said no to.
Just thought I'd weigh in. I think I've built up just a tiny bit of respect around here so hopefully it isn't dashed to pieces.by the following:
As I have said in so many other posts, this is probably a troll. If it isn't though, she deserves the kind of thoughtful advice that most of us have sought in the past, regardless of personal opinions.
Full disclosure, I don't know when life officially begins, but I believe it is before the moment of birth. My son responds to my voice; he moves around when he's uncomfortable or when my wife eats ice cream; he breathes; flexes his muscles; stretches and kicks; there is even evidence that he thinks. He's not born yet but to me he's very much alive. The line is blurry, and I'm not here to argue because I know that I'm not an expert and I respect opposing views. But that's where I stand.
That said, it is not my right nor anybody else's to have an opinion on this matter for someone else. No offense to anybody in the pro-choice or pro-life camps, but the only opinions that count are those of the prospective mother and father. What is right for you might not be right for them, and as indignant as we might get, they are the ones faced with a decision as a result of their actions, they have to make that decision, and they have to live with the consequences of that action.
To casually say "get an abortion" or "keep the baby" is laughably yet depressingly cavalier. It even disregards the issue at hand in it's blatant dispassion. This is not a decision to be made lightly by anyone, and I can practically guarantee that anyone so carelessly opining hasn't personally experienced the stress, fear, and heartache of someone in this position. If you are one of those people and have experienced it, then it isn't just cavalier, it's crass.
The vast majority of us have simply not had the life experiences that merit strong opinions on these matters in general. We might think we are so smart because we are 21 and taking our first (legal) drinks, or 23 and graduated. Just because we make some money or have a little education doesn't make us experienced or educated. Our moral and intellectual compass is far from oriented and the goal is to get there as fast as possible. These discussions are important, but only if we can learn from others. Steven Covey says in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
Wise advice.Anyone ready to lynch me because how-dare-I-be-so-preachy, in my new job I have been working with some of the top private equity and investment banking minds in the country. There are some loud, obnoxious, arrogant bankers. There are even a couple PE guys cut from the same cloth. But by and large, the best of the best are tactful, pleasant, and humble. We should strive to be those guys. It doesn't mean being spineless or weak, it just means being nice.
Anyway, just my two cents.
I will say this, people are free to say whatever, but that doesn't make it right. Furthermore, as someone who knows UFO and Gurillagirl in real life, they are both great people. This isn't 90's AOL. We meet each other at meet-up events, the WSO conference, in various cities, etc.
I support abortion, but I would never tell someone to go abort their kid, especially after they said they don't want to.
This thread is done with. I am moving on.
I hope the best for you and your child. Be strong. :)
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Sounds to me like any way you go, you're not going to be a mom. The babysitter, the nanny, the daycare folks, boyfriend's family, and/or an adopting family might be, but not you. Not on your career track, I can't imagine (google "adult children of workaholics")
Trolling... who cares, you've got to take every question at face value and answer legitimate sounding ones. Someone somewhere is facing an issue like this.
what the f*ck are you trying to achieve? hope throwing monkey shit at me gets you off
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/File:U-Mad-Bro.jpg
ok, so I hope you never have a kid and a job because that kid won't have a dad.
You get your shit together before you have a kid, then it's fine to have as many as you like. Don't have kids when you're expected to work 80 hours a week and no one else has kids.
Be a badass and have that sucker in your cube while editing your PPT at 2AM
You know who nobody's talking about in this thread? The poor bastard who's still in college and just caught a life sentence. Let's hope he isn't an econ major who knows how to calculate opportunity costs.
I say that as a loving father and I'm completely serious.
Been in his shoes... he needs to enjoy his sleep while he can and prepare to age 3x as fast as his peers!
IMO, the econ majors are the worst at real life opportunity cost analysis.
Abort mission. Thank me later.
Epic troll job
I'm a bit borderline on this recommendation, but I do have to bring it up. I'd really consider the other a- adopt it. Being a single parent is tough, and in this day and age I think it's socially acceptable for a 22-year-old single banker to put a child up for adoption. You can go for an open adoption where you can get visitation rights, help out with the kid's college fund and be a good aunt- just not mom. There are a lot of families out there who desperately want children who'd be willing to work with this kind of an arrangement.
If anyone at work asks you about this whole situation, just say that you're Catholic or religious or something, but it's too early for you to be raising a child. I think people will understand. They may wonder a little about how a 22 year old who doesn't want kids gets pregnant, but outside the couple days of maternity you'll need if you adopt, it's not really their business.
Being a single parent is tough. Managing a child while managing a career in banking is even tougher.
A few years ago, Jack Welch said "There is no career-life balance. There are just career-life tradeoffs." Having a kid at 22 will put a huge crimp in your career track before it even starts. And the sacrifice you're making now is a lot bigger than the sacrifice you'd be making at 27 or at 30 when you'd have advanced, through 3000 hour/year schedules, into being more of an expert and having your time be a lot more valuable, even as a part-time employee.
If you decide to keep it, make sure you get married, make sure he gets a job, and make sure you find a good daycare center. Don't live in Manhattan. The outer boroughs or Jersey City/Hoboken may be doable but you may just want to find a suburb and commute in.
My advice is an open adoption, but if you want to keep it, just make sure you've thought everything through and understand the sacrifice you have to make. When you send your son or daughter off to college, you'll be 40.
Again, this is not a strong push in the adoption direction. A working 22 year old with a decent white collar job (albeit unmarried) isn't exactly a case study in someone who should clearly be putting kids up for adoption, but it's not someone who should clearly be having a baby either. As long as you understand that you'll be stunting your career very early and giving up the best 18 years of your life for this kid, then do it. You might be right that it's worth it. Keep the kid, and don't look back.
OP, no offense, it was a really bad idea posting this here. Most of the users on this forum are male, the few females here do not have children nor plan on having them soon. This is a discussion between you and HR, not with random strangers on the internet. As another poster said BCC every email conversation you have. Good luck on your pregnancy, hope you have a healthy child.
Forget consulting with HR, consult with Sheryl Sandberg first and foremost. Lean In at all times, turn up, leave your desk whenever you see fit (as a woman), etc...
In all seriousness you're fine. DO talk with HR at the appropriate time concerning your benefits, time out of the office, talk with associates and VP's you have contact with and work your ass off...you want them on your side.
Your actually better off at a big bank than some startup or boutique because the managing pr is important to the banks right now (as others have stated) and the sheer size of the bank is built to withstand this kind of stuff...essentially your a single ant who's going to need a few weeks off while the other 9,000 ants continue to pile little grains of dirt into a small mound. Haha - I don't mean to marginalize your life/job, but that's essentially the case for all of us.
I guess it comes down to working hard, playing by the rules, communicate efficiently AND call Sheryl.
Check your contract/employee agreement/etc. Your maternity benefits are pretty much unalienable but there might be some clauses in there related to length of employment - i.e. being employed for a year before being eligible for paid maternity leave or being considered 'on probation' for the first 3 months of employment.
Also, for all you posting in this thread telling OP that this is the worst possible time to have a kid, it might not be. As a first year analyst, your job is pretty much to churn out numbers and not screw up while making sure that people at least kind of like you. By the time she's in her late 20s when she really needs to be ahem leaning in for her career's sake, the kid will be in school. I mean, what's the other alternative? Waiting til you're 40 and partner/MD/whatever?
The fact is that there's never a good time to have a kid, but some ages are better than others. I was 39 when I first became a father, and I was infinitely better prepared for it at that age than I ever would have been in my 20's - especially my early 20's.
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