Okay so I've tried to be nice and avoid saying this all week but there's only so much hysteria a gal can take.
Wannabe interns, can you please SHUT UP! Enough with the "Why isn't HR calling me back?" and "Omg, does HR hate me?" bullshit already.
I know you've coasted through life with an inflated sense of entitlement up until this point but right now you're crossing over into little fish/big pond territory and it's time you stop whining like a little bitch.
Newsflash: you are not the only person applying for an internship right now.
Just because HR didn't call you back by the date we said we would doesn't mean there's a mass conspiracy theory stacked against you. I mean, neurotic much?
The HR-related paranoia on this site runs so deep...
My advice to you: crying about it gets you nowhere. Nor does HR bashing.
I know that most of you are predisposed to thinking HR managers, what with our small lady brains and all, go about misplacing resumes and losing track of candidates just for fun. But the fact of the matter is, we're screening thousands of applicants at any given time. Most of whom are white men with generic white men names like Daniel or David..or Asian men with similar fake white sounding name (looking at you Bobby Chang). Which makes the process all the more difficult.
Right now with intern-tsunami-season in full swing, there's even more shit to sift through. So please forgive us if we don't respond to your contrived follow-up email ASAP.
My second piece of advice to all you aspiring bankers: be patient.
If you make it, you're going to be doing A LOT of waiting in this job. Waiting for your boss to send grammar corrections for footnotes in a pitchbook (that will never see the light of day) at 2AM. Waiting for everyone in your team to leave the office so you can finally get TF out of there and remember what a Friday night out feels like for the first time in 14 months. Waiting for someone, just anyone, to finally say "Hey, nice job you did there." (This will literally never happen).
You get the gist. As you've probably heard, this life isn't easy. Well, surprise surprise, neither is the recruitment process. No one's going to tolerate your bitch ass whining when you're an intern. So why not start practicing how to be a passive doormat right now and quit complaining about if/when/how HR will get back to you. We call you monkeys for a reason...
Your HR Queen