Stop Using These 30 Phrases At Work!
I just saw this on Linkedin and thought it was funny. Someone took it upon themselves to post what were the 30 phrases he hated hearing at the office:
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Stop Using These 30 Phrases At Work!
I reckon every office or workplace has one of those people that are just full of jargon-ridden management drivel. Does this kind of 'management speak' remind you of someone at your work place: "Before going forward we have to touch base and reach out to our key stakeholders so that we can drill down into the key issues that are not yet on our radar and catch the low-hanging fruits..."
Are you surrounded by people who annoyingly can't get enough of the management gobbledygook and who utter one jargon buzzword after another? Are your meetings buzzing with so much management lingo that you find it hard to get to the real meaning of what is being said? The problem I have with these phrases is that they sound so pretentious and often are counter-productive because they irritate people so much and deflect from the real meaning.
Below are my top 30 most irritating and overused phrases we hear at work. I am sure you have others that you can add to this list. Let's make it the most comprehensive list of unnecessary management drivel ever - Please add your ones using the comment field!
For me, these are my top 30 most irritating jargon phrases used at work:
Going forward
Drill-down
End of play
Touch base
It's on my radar
No brainer
Best of breed
Low hanging fruit
Reach out
Dive deeper
Think outside the box
Positive momentum
On my plate
At the end of the day
Run the numbers
Touch points
Keep your eye on the ball
Back to the drawing board
Get the ball rolling
Bang for your buck
Close the deal
When the rubber hits the road
Shift paradigm
Move the needle
Game-changing
Move the goal post
Value added
Win-win
Across the piece
All hands on deck
What do you think? Do you agree? Are these the most irritating phrases? Please let me know which ones you would add to this list!
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To which someone replied:
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Going forward, I'd like to drill down on your post - keeping the end of play in mind. I like to touch base with people on matters whenever it's on my radar. I mean it's a no brainer that when it comes to phrases, some go after the low hanging fruit as the easy way to communicate. Certain cliches, however, are a quick way to reach out and help a person dive deeper and think outside the box when trying to get a point across. This creates a positive momentum that helps you execute ideas that turn into achievable milestones that everyone on your team understands. If you run the numbers, and keep the touch points in mind, it will help you keep your eye on the ball. Otherwise, it's back to the drawing board if you want to get the ball rolling and succeed in achieving your biggest bang for the buck. I always tell my colleagues if you want to close the deal, you have to leverage your strengths or you'll have a shift paradigm that will move the needle away from your objective. What I'm advocating here is not game-changing; just suggesting that using cliches can move the goal post closer. The value added here is a win-win for everyone. Great article, Bernard. I mean across the piece your article is spot on. I'm only saying cliches do have their usefulness. Not all hands on deck will agree with my viewpoint, yet the value proposition here is to incentivize others to act quickly and flesh out what will work. If you want to discuss this with me further, let's take it offline. :-)
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I personally know a few people, who want to punch me, when they hear me say "it is what it is" (no they do not work with me), but I have to admit that I do not do it to piss them off. I find using such phrasing useful, in addition to funny. What is your take on this?
Touch Base/Reach Out... deffinetly the most used at my work place. Why the hell cant people just say "contact"'?
I'm not that I find them as much annoying as I do distracting. Some times I dont even understand the shit people are are saying because I busy analyzing the last sentence they just said.
Agreed on the lack of usefullness of these words.
...none of the ones you posted really piss me off...
We did this on WSO about a year and a half ago and the thread was hilarious. I think Patrick even made it into a poll. Good stuff.
It was actually a "buzz word" bracket. The winner was "it is what it is"
How does that list not have "provide color" or "add some color"? It's overused.
Aside from that, really funny list. I can think of at least a couple dozen more.
Slang & other expressions not to use. (Originally Posted: 07/25/2014)
What are sayings you guys can't stand? Off the top of my head:
What am I missing?
What words do you use? Not using the word club seems a bit strange to me
I just mean the whole "we're buying bottles up in the club" type talk. I actually like some clubs in Vegas etc., but usually just call it by name, like we're going to Tao or whatever's cool.
Or if we talk about going out it's what bars do we want to go to, even though some of them are obv. clubbish.
Not to hijack the thread but the humpday slang reminded of humpday hotties and tooshie tuesdays are some of the most quality posts on Funtasticus.
http://www.funtasticus.com/
Not hijacked at all, I want as much as we can think of. It doesn't just have to be acronyms or texting slang. I'm sure I'm missing a bunch and you guys have plenty.
that site is amazing, I just killed 15 minutes
hate to bring this term back but "rolling dolo" was the first thing that came to mind
answering the question at hand, I hate anything Drake says
Guilty of 7 and 9 (mostly sarcastically but even I don't know where the line is anymore).
I'll add "lost in the sauce"-- an expression guys in the marines used that drove me nuts. What sauce? Just b/c it rhymes? So dumb.
"Here's the kicker..." God I hate this. I want to hit people who use this to close a story.
Makes me want to kick them.
Synergy, because it's overused and often used incorrectly.
High finance, on this site. No one who actual works in finance calls it that.
Prestige or any variation.
Agreed. I don't like any form of name dropping or hinting at $. How many people get a platinum Amex (any normal person can qualify, $500/yr. for the "privilege" of the card doesn't make you rich) just to be seen at a restaurant. Or making the use of Uber obvious.
People do this with college bumper stickers too. Usually in Dallas it's ordinary, unimpressive schools like Baylor or Oklahoma.
Hella, Frisco, San Fran, Mani pedi, gluten free (its like nails on a fucking chalk board), at the end of the day, granular, think outside the box, M7, volume, hft, huh, yea, nah, free range, "she's really nice" (that's when you KNOW you're fucked), hooch, moist, prestige.
"It is what it is", "Beantown" (dumbest nickname for a city ever). 12th man-- so stupid. "The other side of the pillow."
Pulling out your iphone and placing it next to your plate at dinner (iphone's aren't impressive and kind of suck; I'm getting in to behavior, whatever).
Going "yard" or "and 1." "Pick 6." (Anything on Sports Center.)
dolo and fomo
i learned these on wso, thanks fellas
you have not rolled until you have rolled dolo, my friend you should consider unbanning real meal D:
"Hottie Tottie"
I wanna punch the father of any sorority girl who says that straight in the fucking neck.
Bae, hella
Worked in the corporate setting and couldn't stand anything Friday related.
-Is it Friday yet? - x more days until Friday
You sound like you're fun at parties OP
saying "cost me 2 bills" instead of "cost me $200 (two hundred dollars).
Don't know why but it has always bugged me
There's also the variation "a dime" or "a buck" etc.-- doesn't really bug me though
"OD". It's fine sometimes, but not "odeeeeee". Also, I overheard an intern saying "shit, that's dope" to a VP level. That was fun to watch.
First post here on WSO. Makes me cringe when people say YOLO or Turnt Up too many times in a sitting.
Can't stand "Six of one half dozen of another"...I'll be walking away before you even finish the line.
You don't use "pregame"?? How else would you describe waxing beers before going out?
Sorry you got cut during rush brah.
"Buff" -- chicks love saying it but no dude on Earth has ever used that to describe another dude
Also, I agree with @"FratBank" on the pregame term. @"Prof. Hathaway" Would you instead say to someone "we're going over to xyz's place to crush some tall boys with a group of like minded people before heading out to the bar later " ... nothing wrong with pregame to make it simple to understand
I'm actually guilty of using "pregame" still some, so that kind of makes me a hypocrite. It happens.
Ok, don't tell your superior that you plan on slaying hoes after dropping stacks or blast out emails that would be clearly unprofessional... but cmon now, slang is fun and it is not going anywhere, which of course speaks to why slang is fun in the first place. Slang may stem from something stupid but the genesis is not what interests/entertains me but rather the evolution, either within friend groups or the general public. That is not to say that the latest iteration is any less stupid than the first, but it is fun and at least to some degree, creative.
If someone is incapable of speaking without using slang OK that is an issue because that can hurt someone's chances of being successful, everyone should know how to behave/speak professionally.
Commonly misused statements aggravate me more than slang, "How are you doing?" "Good" (in my mind) Oh yea you've done a lot of good today, "well" jackass. Or "I could care less" no jackass you couldn't care less. Many more.
OP your problem may not with slang in general (if it is then chill bra) but rather that you have become irritated by hearing the same slang for too long. Yearning for some innovation.
Example within my group: Police=>Po Po=>Po Noons=>Shanghai Noons=>Shanghais=>Sawshanks=>? New favorite: Hipster Moon... "That girl is out trying to nurture her inner hipster moon shopping for kale bitching about gluten"
Holy shit time to switch to decaf.
This thread is an example of things I can't stand.
I hate the excessive use and seemingly pretentious feeling iGet whenever people say or use " start-up" ...please stop it.
When someone I have never met calls me "buddy" or "bud" totes yolo hella funzies peeps tushie
OP must be a lot of fun to hang out with.
OP, you sound like a thrill to be with.
Do you sit around Washington Square park and complain about the young bucks and their technical gadgets?!
What is paper......
And for me, the word "ratchet".
I can't stand it when people can't spell a simple four letter word such as "lose". Why the hell do so many people on the internet spell it "loose"? Everyone stupid or do they all have a stuck "o" key on their keyboard?
Whatevs.
when girls "can't even"
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