Torn between coasting or getting my act together
The short version: I am 23 years old and having a hard time deciding whether I should just stay at my current no-name job with 89k salary, 20-hr work weeks or actually try to do something with my life and get a real job with progression.
Let me just start by saying that I am a lazy POS. Throughout high school and college, I did the bare minimum for schoolwork and never studied. I've just always been extremely lazy, but luckily I was able to wing it enough to pull through high school with decent enough grades to get me into UVA. I majored in econ at UVA and was always skipping lectures because I would spend my nights going out and then sleep the whole day after. I ended up with a subpar 3.3 gpa because of that.
People in my class always had their eye on ib and consulting, but deep down in my heart I knew that I would be too lazy to even get through a summer stint. And honestly, even getting the offer would have been a stretch with my shitty grades. Working just makes me feel miserable, I know that's such a pathetic thing to say, but that's just the lame person I am, and I am completely aware of it. So instead, I opted to spend my summers interning at a no-name marketing company (~200 employees) that my childhood friend's boyfriend recommended me to.
Apparently to them, they thought I was some genius because most of the employees came from small local colleges and weren't the sharpest if I'm going to be honest. My supervisor liked me a lot, so he gave me a full time offer at 85k base (it's 89k now after working there for a little over a year with raise), no bonus because they don't even have a bonus structure in place for junior level employees. Because all the other employees aren't the brightest and take at least twice as long as people in this forum would take to do tasks such aspresentation building, drafting documents, and database management, I can get away with working only 20 hours a week on average by leading my boss into believing it takes me double the time it actually does to finish my projects. This company is based in New York, but they are allowing me to work from home permanently.
I'm basically coasting through this job, but I have some reservations:
This company is very poorly organized (doesn't even have an org chart) and there's no structure in place for promotions.
The people here aren't intelligent or particular pleasant to work with, so I feel like I'm stagnating and not learning anything.
- For the hours I put in, the pay is decent, but I live in nyc (I chose to live here Bc I really like the city) so my salary is basically nothing. And, because this company is so poorly structured, there's no guarantee that I will be getting pay raises in the future. I also intend to stay in nyc for the long run Bc my boyfriend intends to stay in nyc. There's also the issue of no prestige since this is a small company in an unattractive industry.
I'm wondering if this is the best spot for me given my self-sabotaging habits, or if I should push myself to go to grad school in an attempt to pivot into finance or some corporate dev/strategy role and eat shit so that I can start feeling good about my job and that I am actually progressing in life. I know this post comes off as super spoiled and pathetic, but I'm caught in between my laziness/desire to coast and my embarrassment at my lack of achievement.