what are your best mistakes and lessons learned?

what are your best mistakes and lessons learned? What did you learn that others can take to heart and not repeat your mistake?

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Comments (19)

Dec 31, 2021 - 1:39pm

I'll give you a lesson learned - stop worrying about who you think you should be (or worse, what others think you should be) and focus improving the person that you actually are. I can sum up so much anxiety and countless mistakes due to that very simple idea.Β 

Dec 31, 2021 - 1:44pm

There is a difference between co-workers and friends. Do not assume co-workers are friends, most of them will fuck you the second you turn around. Do not assume someone has your back and get everything in writing.

Dec 31, 2021 - 1:46pm

Best … mistakes?Β 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Jan 3, 2022 - 1:14am

yeah, I'm curious where others F-ed up. In my case, it's usually impatience, and moving on before I've reaped the full rewards. That impatience was true in uni, where I could have stayed longer for a second more practical major, or leaving ibanking to go into PE before I was any good at modeling or had a good CV track record, or jumping out and redeeming from PE deals.Β  One mistake after the other, but all similar at their core deficiency.

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Dec 31, 2021 - 7:15pm

This guy fucks

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 2
Dec 31, 2021 - 3:04pm

Choosing prestige above all else. Early in my career, lateraled from a reputable shop where I liked the team to a much more prestigious group on paper. During the interview I had the gut feeling that I wouldn't enjoy working with some of the personalities. Muted that inner voice and went for the name. Over time, I grew to realize whom you work for/with matters more than which bank/group/possibly even exit ops. More broadly, career decisions should really be made in the context of personal goals, fit, preferences, long term view of career path etc. rather than what's immediately visible/offered at hand, such as brand name, comp, group, etc.Β 

VP
  • 9
Most Helpful
Dec 31, 2021 - 3:12pm

Lesson 1: Put yourself first.

Very few people actually care about you. Hopefully your parents care about you, and if you're lucky you will have extended family that does as well. I'm lucky to have a good family. Even though there are still problems and issues, they're a good family.

Evaluate your "friends" and figure out why you're friends. I stopped talking to a lot of people after I graduated from college. Throughout life, majority of people you talk to and become acquaintances with is due to chance. Close proximity to people will result in relationships, but that doesn't mean you're true friends. Realize you have the power to choose your friends and those who you actively hang out with outside of a work setting.

Until you have kids who are dependent on yourself, you should focus on yourself. Of course I care about my family, but by me being the best me I can be, I can then help those I care about.

Lesson 2: Don't argue with stupid.

There are a lot of dumbasses, and social media has now given dumbasses a platform they shouldn't have. No point in arguing with stupid - they will just bring you down to their level.

Lesson 3: Get in shape.

There is no excuse to be in poor physical condition. Weak physical bodies disgust me. "Body acceptance" is bullshit. If you're fat go fuck yourself raw on a treadmill until you aren't.

Lesson 4: Have self-respect.

Nowadays, people run away front confrontation and would rather suffer than stand up for themselves. This doesn't mean be an asshole or try and fight people. It means knowing your self-worth. If you have a belief you believe is correct, don't shy away from it.

Summary:

Don't be an asshole - it will eventually come back to bite you.

Don't be a pussy - people will see you're weak and walk all over you.

You can read all the self-help books out there and dissect all possible situations you may encounter, but it really comes down to getting out there in life and experiencing stuff for yourself.

"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence."

Dec 31, 2021 - 4:47pm

Don't sign things without consulting a good attorney. Just because the law says one thing doesn't mean that a litigious former partner or employer can't jam you up with bullshit court filings. Being right doesn't mean that there won't be negative outcomes.

Jan 11, 2022 - 5:30pm

JimmySimons

Don't sign things without consulting a good attorney. Just because the law says one thing doesn't mean that a litigious former partner or employer can't jam you up with bullshit court filings. Being right doesn't mean that there won't be negative outcomes.

all the law is is what a judge and the guns supporting him say it is.Β  it is nothing more.Β  basic legal philosophy taught in american law schools 3L

Dec 31, 2021 - 8:23pm

Have lots and lots of sex when your're young--it's a confidence booster and you won't be so focused on getting some when you start your career and progress, so you won't be as distractedΒ 

Jan 1, 2022 - 8:24pm

Be an owner as soon as possible. Start something. Buy something. Hustle the fuck out of whatever you are trying to do...but be an owner.Β 

Shoot your shot on every 10 you see.Β 

Do a whole lot of shit that makes you uncomfortable as soon as you can.Β 

Climb a mountain. Learn an instrument. Find the hottest chick in every room and get shot down 99 times. Start a company. Join the military.Β 

No one gives a fuck about any path.Β 
Β 

Jan 1, 2022 - 10:01pm

1 - Go on a night out with your "friends" and then get in a street fight. Only remain friends with the ones that stayed and fought with you; don't be surprised if that number is zero. People are cowards, including your "friends".Β Β 

2 - Save for retirement early in your life. Age is the great equalizer and we ALL get old. You're going to want to retire earlier than you think and it will come much faster than you think. Be prepared by starting early.Β 

Jan 2, 2022 - 9:02am

I got into an altercation outside of Manitoba's years ago. Some guy went outside and clocked my friend in the face and I was behind the guy and put him in a rear naked choke and then also had to fight off this short guy that eventually ran away from me. My friend never forgot when I backed him up after that. It really meant a lot to him and was a sort of bonding experience. I had some skinned knees somehow but didn't take any face shots.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
Jan 3, 2022 - 12:54am

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