Just curious, what do you all love and hate the most about working in investment banking? I'm referring to tasks, not hours or people or anything like that.
I'll start. I love modeling. I really hate filing/tracking company records for compliance. I imagine that's not something a lot of the bigger bank analysts do..
Not sure if this counts, but not a huge fan of AML and KYC training.
Witnessing a MD pitch a shit idea to a client and getting shut down
I'll take that as a "love" part of your job? Lol
Love: No two days are the same. There is definitely grunt work to be done, but it does change up on a regular basis. I would be lying if I did not list compensation here as well.
Hate: Some of the people that IB attracts.
models and bottles, right?
Love: Variety -- projects and priorities change daily making the work unpredictable and exciting
Hate: Women in the club asking if I work at "Goldman Sachs" -- I just tell them "Pull down my pants and see how GOLD my SACKS are! :))))
Love: closing deals, making lot of money, getting the front role seat on everything (i.e. VIP invites for all major events), being invited to the elite social circle (i.e. World Economic Forum - Davos), taking first class paid by the firm, and doing models and bottles (at senior level this is expected).
Hate: babysitting stupid clients (muppets), managing office politics (it never get easier), fending off competition (if you are #1, you need to work hard to stay there), missing out important social events, and fending off gold diggers (shit happens).
analyst/associate - economy class manager/vp - business class md - first class
You could have just said "Davos". Perhaps, that is par for the course of those who need to be "invited to the elite social circle". Poseur.
haters gonna hate. mr. analyst. lol.
You don't get "invited" to Davos unless you are a president/prime minister of a global superpower. If you are a bank/company you cannot send more than 5 people and it costs $700,000 to do that. And that's just the cost of tickets.
That amount of money is not even worth thinking when you get to my level. Lol. :P
I love modeling and tracking the company information. I hate remembering formulas.
Me too! I extremely hate remembering formulas.
LOVE: Compensation and flying private.. You're broke if you fly first class..... Always remember that.
Hate: The drive from my 12.6M dollar house to work everyday.... Don't get me wrong folks, I'm chauffeured around in a limo while sipping on champagne and smoking a fat Cuban but it gets old. Oh, also, I defiantly hate the pretentious pricks that this industry attracts... Such as myself.
Love: Getting in depth knowledge on a company and industry very quickly. Really focusing on the issues facing the co. and what is key to the constituents who you are pitching to. Once mandated I enjoy working with management teams and offering up advice that is valuable to them. You'd be surprised how many of them don't read their own credit docs and I work with guys who can decipher the legal language in a credit agreement or indenture in a few hours and come up with a workaround or solution to a company's problems.
Hate: Some people in this business have a shitty way of talking to junior bankers. I always look at it like 'hurt people hurt people'. So a lot of senior guys, especially those who were put through the wringer when they were junior bankers, just snap when they don't get what they want. And sometimes what they want goes against the new junior banker friendly policies being enacted. So while I shouldn't work on Saturday on a pitch, I get asked to consistently. Also hate the marketing aspect. The comments on books about swapping out these tombstones for those tombstones feels like a waste of time and energy.
Love: intellectually stimulating - industry knowledge, commercial due diligence, analysis, financial modelling. Incredibly challenging work (when not slaving over the grind work which is inevitable).
Hate: Clients who think they know things but don't. Seriously, why are you paying us fees if you've made up your mind on how things work "in your world"? Also something unique to a my country/market - Government Linked Companies. These guys refuse to speak to anyone else but the MD, and when we finally get the schedules to sync for a meet they cancel a few hours before... All the time. Always between a rock (cocky tard client) and a hard place (furious MD).
Worst part of an Analyst's job??? (Originally Posted: 10/08/2010)
Analysts have a lot of war stories and I hear of all the stuff analysts have to do, but what does everyone think is the WORST or near WORST part of the job that you have to do. Other than comps and profiles. What is the real SHIT work that can be expected and the duration of having to do it. Including special favors and all that I guess.
I'll start:
Doing diligence lists and tracking them. I HATE doing that!!!
anal
Getting hit in the head with a office printer by an MD.
Easy answer: just being a general, all-around BITCH...my ego took a huge hit when I got into this
Undoing and redoing things that your MD specifically told you to do. On a friday night.
actually...the worst is waiting for hours (on a friday night) for the next turn
Plenty of time during the day to edit comments and make the turns, but your MD waits until 10 PM to give you the write-up and then gives you 4 more turns before morning. Yeah I'm pretty sure this job sucks.
Sorry, but what are turns?
not being able to make definite plans outside of work, or always being on call.
100% agreed... If you're far away from home, no one can ever come visit you cause you'll probably be working that weekend or at least late friday night. Oh a call at 7PM sunday = you're fucked.
Having to carry your work blackberry with you over the weekend for the mere reason of being able to receive an email requiring you to go into the office and do work.
Positive - Corporate Card where everyone schemes to squeeze it for all it's worth.
What are people getting for dinner expense?
I always hated having to drive out to the VP/D/MD's house at 3 or 4 in the morning to drop the latest draft of the document off at their doorstep. This allowed them to drive directly to the airport the next morning instead of stopping by the office (on the way to the airport) to pick it up.
You guys didn't have couriers?
But like most have said, the worst part is getting a turn at 7/8 at night, when you've done a minimal amount of work during the day.
Also overnight memos.
I remember the first time I was asked to do this. I thought it was a joke. I didn't make that mistake again....
With a courier you are not 100% sure, better to do it yourself even if it sucks. Worst thing about the job is giving away control of your own time.
worst part of the job....being an analyst
The pay...
J/k.....
buyer profiles do suck! Havent had any crazy requests or calls, yet...
when your MD is gay and demands a BJ
What Part of Your Work Do You Hate the Most? (Originally Posted: 09/10/2013)
What part of your work do you hate the most/find the most tedious and annoying to do?
Not things like a long commute/traffic/douche boss, but work wise.
Making / updating presentations. We don't use any sort of automatically updating factset charts, so updating pricing means going into each spreadsheet, updating it, and re-pasting.
Earnings notes. I still think these are the biggest waste of time. The only people who read these are people who either (a) own the stock or (b) are considering owning it. And if you fall into either of those camps wouldn't you be on the call / read the transcript anyways?
x2
Anything admin-related, i.e. writing up business plans or dealing with compliance issues on trading.
Agree with Red Barchetta, having to deal with trading compliance systems is an absolute nightmare for me.
Company profiles
Any formatting in Microsoft Word.
Excel formatting - Ok
Word formatting - Screw this
Anything done for audit purposes like printing and filing every report we run. We must go through atleast three packs of printer paper a day. Waste of time!!!
When a company can't add up it's statements correctly, and the auditors didn't care either.
Overly demanding sales people who are monkeys.
Listening to the whole earnings call when all you want is the Q&A.
When told to look at a boring company that's trading above 95c on the dollar.
The hour and half commute. It's partially my fault by me not moving but also the companies fault for operating in such a godforsaken area.
Sexual harassment lawsuits
@Sinatra007
LOL. Time to move to an Asian country - the mindset & office etiquette is a bit more old fashioned out there...
Micro management
When I waste 2-3 hours per day trying to fix the FactSet add-in for XLS
Sending attachments (OMs, financials etc...) on behalf of lazy senior employees.
Budgeting for Trading earnings - and then explaining why we are over or under budget at the end of the year. It's market based, it's not going to be exact, why is this so hard for Control to understand? If only we could predict the market 100%...
trying to figure out the goddamn raw data that our clients copy and paste it to us without any sort of legends or reference.
Absolute best thing about ibanking (Originally Posted: 04/17/2007)
I am tired of hearing everyone complain about how much ibanking sucks. What are some to the best thinks about it I have to look forward to. Like that chicks love ibankers, and all the exit opps available. Or bonding with your fellow bullpit workers. Ibankers like to work hard and party harder right?
Most chicks will think you are a total tool if you pull the "I work in IB" line.
So true. Also, even if the suit / tie / look doesn't give you away and you manage to get a chick to ask for your number don't pass a Goldmen Suck business card (it's actually happened more than once). Remember, if you are associated with i-banking you fall in the (overpaid) tool category.
The cash. Plain and simple.
Agree with Patrick, pulling the Ibanker line will only make you more susceptible to get shitted on.
Hey, American psycho I don't need advice from you on how to pick up chicks
Go ahead and try your lame ass line, just enjoy lonely nights. You are a disgrace to the real Chuck Norris.
I'd probably have to agree with the others here, that just coming up and being like Hey I'm in IB is just lame. But if you're not a complete tool otherwise, you should be able to get in the door, and if you can slip IB in all the better IMO. I might be wrong though :P.
You need to adjust your game in your quest for pussy. I usually tell chicks I'm a Doctor and they eat that up.
I-Banker sounds lame and hardly anyone even knows what it is.
Just make sure you get some background info on the profession so you don't end up looking like a tool.
But yea, back to the subject at hand, the best thing about Banking is the cash.
I love the "big deal" atmosphere and high level view you get on things. Can't imagine going back into industry unless I'm the boss or set up my own company.
Best thing? Not having to worry about making dinner or plans to hang out with friends because you know you'll be in the office all day and all night, every day and every night.
...in the end it comes down to the money.
Giving a chick backshots on a balcony/bay window in your apt overlooking a view of the city. How is this possible? Because you're a SMOOTH i-banker...
If you're game sucks, you'll be pleasuring yourself in front of your bay window/balcony with the hundreds of porn dvds you were able to buy on your salary. Why? Because you're a TOOL.
Pick one.
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