Words I can't stand anymore after 3 months into the IB analyst role

ASAP - this word is often misused. Everything is always needed ASAP. You had the whole of yesterday and the day before to ask me to work on this but 3 hours before the call you decide to let me know we need this ASAP? 

Comments - no explanation needed

turn - no explanation needed

Capacity - you know it's not going to be good when you hear this word in a sentence.

pull - "Can you pull xyz?" always involves pulling a bunch of numbers that turn out to be a headache to source.

SNL - I just hate hearing this word. So much confusion.

Market refresh - oh boy!! "We will need to market refresh for Friday." 

Staffing - no explanation needed on this one

Comment below what yours are lol. Would love to hear them.

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Comments (52)

Oct 21, 2021 - 1:05am

"Revert" "confirming receipt" "add some color" "please let me know if you have any comments or questions" "happy to jump on a call" "can you send the invite" and any stupid sports lingo and probably most of all… "thanks." I've thanked people so many times the word has no meaning anymore.. it's just a punctuation

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Most Helpful
  • Associate 1 in IB - Restr
Oct 21, 2021 - 1:41am

These are also phrases but you get the point

  • "Reach out" - usually entails contacting someone no one else wants to 
  • "What's your afternoon look like" - about to be fucked 
  • "who do we know?" - more so a question of who do YOU know - you just want me to scour a backlog of M&A deals to find some shoestring connection 
  • "Hey-" - nothing good comes from this ping
  • "Pls send dial in"
  • "Why have you not sent dial in????"
  • "Pls"
  • "Plz"
  • "Massage"
  • "Thnx"
  • Thx"
  • "Tx"
  • "Color" 
  • "Circle up" - as in, "can we circle up first thing Sunday to check on he model"
  • "ping"
  • "revert"
  • "circulate"
  • "will do"
  • "bandwith"
  • "bullpen" - we are not pro athletes. we are dweeby little fucks who slave away our 20's
  • "kindly"
  • "jammed"
  • "firedrill" - purely from that stupid tiktok from that golman girl yesterday
  • "make better"
  • "run this up the flagpole"
  • "pencils down"
  • "robust" - FUCKING ROBUST. JESUS. My gd MD described his toddler son today as "robust" to a client. How can a small child be robust? I f you hadn't noticed, I hate this word
Oct 21, 2021 - 8:44am

I've always thought boomerisms like "don't boil the ocean" were bad, but heard a new one yesterday: "closing the loop on this." Don't know why, but I fucking hate it.

The one good boomerism is "pounding the table," though. Love that one for some reason.

Oct 21, 2021 - 6:10pm

I use "FYI" and that word alone in email forwards if my purpose is to tell my junior team, "You literally don't need to do anything with this information but here is some context, or a heads up on something upcoming, or some spicy banter." 

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
Oct 22, 2021 - 7:13pm

"Quorum" lmao. That one followed me into corp dev. That's everyone's favorite word at the start of a call. "Well, looks like we have a quorum here, so why don't I go ahead and kick it off." 

Never seen that word used anywhere at uni or high school until IB/corp dev 

Oct 22, 2021 - 5:42pm

"I don't want you to lose sleep over this but please have it done by tomorrow morning"

Array

Oct 22, 2021 - 7:08pm

"Walk me through..."

"Where do we stand..."

"Where are we on..."

"Send me the latest where it stands"

"ETA on draft?" --- as a subject line of email (no body)

Starting email with "Thanks!" followed by 3 pages of comments. Clearly the work was f**ked if it required 3 pages of comments----no need to thank me

"Thx", "tx", "pls" 

"We're happy to run..." or "we're happy to pull..." always comes from the Associate who's about to jam all the incremental work on me. Like bro, I'm not sure I'm all that happy to run another 5 scenarios...

"Let's check in at X to see where we're at" like Associate, why don't you hop into the ppt/excel and we split, instead of you waiting 3 hrs for me to do all the work

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Oct 22, 2021 - 8:00pm

Hahahah this cracked me up. The accuracy omg!! 

"ETA on draft?" --- as a subject line of email (no body) [I've seen this so many times omg]

Starting email with "Thanks!" followed by 3 pages of comments. Clearly the work was f**ked if it required 3 pages of comments----no need to thank me [Lmao!!!

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Oct 23, 2021 - 1:21am

Thanks for all your hard work! This is really helpful and beyond useful!

One quick comment - let's just quickly xyz so it's easier to understand the data

1. Client deck

a. Just

b. Because
c. You

d. Have 

e. One

f. Comment

g. With 8 sub bullets does not mean you had one comment.

Thanks again for doing all this! 

(the page gets thrown in the appendix of course and I'm 98% sure whenever the guy uses an exclamation point he's trying to be "helpful and understanding" but it feels pretty sarcastic when there are 25 sub bullets of comments)

And when it takes more than an hour for me to turn all the comments I get pinged with a "did my comments make sense? Happy to jump on the phone and provide more color!" Like your on vacation in the Bahamas right now you're not happy to.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Oct 22, 2021 - 11:39pm

revert, albeit, notwithstanding, herein, noodle, confirming receipt, update, please find attached, sounds good, will do

Oct 23, 2021 - 1:13am

"My calendar is up to date"    (I'm passive aggressive about asserting my lame heichary over you when it would take me 10 seconds to find a time I prefer first)

Array
  • 1
Oct 23, 2021 - 10:51am

"Need more color here" or "we need to flesh this out" …just tell me what you want the slide to say and I'll make it. Need some direction to keep the process efficient 

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Oct 28, 2021 - 8:04am

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