Q&A with Heister, "My Total Worth is North of $50 Million"
For those who do not frequent the WSO Chatroom, I would like to introduce WSO Chatroom extraordinaire, Heister. Although he might have some troll tendencies, if you ever have a question about agricultural farming, finance homework, or the hedge fund industry, Heister is always online to lend a helping hand. While he may not be the type of “banker” a nice Christian girl would bring home for dinner with her parents, he sure does make me laugh.
Instead of doing the regular two part series, I have gone ahead and put our whole Q&A below. Please do keep an eye out for more of my Q&A series with our more experienced users. Who knows, you might actually learn something.
Enjoy,
---
MF: What advice would you, seriously, give to someone in college trying to break into the HF industry?
Heister: For someone who is in college trying to break into the HF world the routes to do so are immense. Personally for people in my situation, a non-target with mediocre grades and no internships, I would say focus on smaller banks that offer both an Investment Bank and a Hedge Fund. These banks are more likely to promote from with in.
While in college I would advise doing banking related internships, busting your ass grade wise, and having a life. Honestly, mega funds are what people cream their pants over, and that personally is not for me. I’m not about that work a million hours a week and chest bump your fellow analysts because you just pulled off 5 all nighters this week. I would rather enjoy my working experiences in a fund with a laid back culture.
---
MF: As mentioned, you work as an analyst at a hedge fund, and that must take up a good amount of time. So, how in the world do you have so much time to spend on the WSO Chatroom?
Heister: The past couple of weeks things have been slow, the partners are bickering over a potential buy out of a consulting firm. Some of them have this idea that they want to create a "one stop shop" for all banking and consulting needs. So it has left me with only a few active projects to do for the next week and a half or so. Despite my wiry nature and lack of apparent attention span. I am rather good at multi tasking.
---
MF: Everyone wants to know, what is your estimated net worth range?
Heister: Ha, while I wont give out an exact number. I will dish out some nuggets for you all to drool over. My total worth is in the eight-figure range; it is north of 50 million. I expect it will pass into the nine-figure range in the next two years or so.
---
MF: What does it compose of? Real Estate? Cash or debt? Jets (how many)?
Heister: I am not sure of my exact portfolio break down. The vast majority of my net worth is tied up in real estate, natural gas leases and business ventures. I keep a fairly healthy amount of cash at any one time. I do not personally own any jets, my businesses own two and I have use whenever I feel like it.
As some people on WSO have realized I absolutely in LOVE with debt my current debt load strips my net worth by a considerable amount. Debt opens up a world of possibilities.
---
MF: If you were elected president, what would be some of your first orders of business?
Heister: Besides making it illegal to be liberal? I honestly have no idea.
The problems that face the world are so complex and massive that I would get grey hair. I am not a huge fan of grey hair in my mid twenties. I know a guy with greying hair and he’s not even thirty if you were wondering, its not a good look.
---
MF: We talked about starting a fund on the WSO Chatroom, what are you thoughts on this? How would you go about running the fund?
Heister: I have thought about this a bunch over the last week or so. I think it would be set up as a learning and experience tool for undergrads. Almost like an internship only that the people involved will be responsible for everything. They would be responsible for targeting companies, analyzing the company, making buy/short recommendations, and executing the trades. It would be impossible for the fund to give a full banking spectrum of experience due to laws regulating what licenses people have to have to do certain jobs.
I think this would be very beneficial to non-target undergrads who can not get the traditional banking internships. What would set this apart from a school investment club is that students who excel would have the opportunity to join the fund upon graduation in a paid role. It would be a prop shop in essence. I would keep the profits from the interns or reinvest it in the fund to help hire more traders and analysts that stand out above the rest.
---
Heister: I think we are lacking that really controversial question.
MF: You mean, boxers or briefs?
Heister: I mean something more like, male thongs or commando
MF: So..?
Heister: Male Thongs.
---
I could not have thought of a more appropriate ending to a Q&A with Heister.
Check my past Q&A’s:






Comments
Holy shit, 50 mil? the fak>?
Holy shit, 50 mil? the fak>?
Finally!
Finally!
"Social cohesion and puritanical morality place roughly on my list of concerns between whether I'll pick up jock itch at the gym this week (not likely, since I don't go the gym) and whether it'll rain in Christchurch, New Zealand next Tuesday."
-Eddie
What a fucking man. Webster's
What a fucking man. Webster's needs to update their definition.
good stuff MF can't wait for
good stuff MF can't wait for the others
WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My story | Connect with me on Linkedin.
2013 WSO Conference
Such a baller.
Such a baller.
"I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."
Can heister give us more
Can heister give us more tutorials on how to be a gauche new money douchebag?
Sooo..if I said I was worth
Sooo..if I said I was worth "north of $60 million", all of you would believe me?
melvvvar wrote: Can heister
Can heister give us more tutorials on how to be a gauche new money douchebag?
New money, old money, thug money, it all spends the same.
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
still cant tell if this is
still cant tell if this is serious or not
happypantsmcgee
Can heister give us more tutorials on how to be a gauche new money douchebag?
New money, old money, thug money, it all spends the same.
touche.
M Friedman wrote: MF: We
MF: We talked about starting a fund on the WSO Chatroom, what are you thoughts on this? How would you go about running the fund?
Heister: I have thought about this a bunch over the last week or so. I think it would be set up as a learning and experience tool for undergrads. Almost like an internship only that the people involved will be responsible for everything. They would be responsible for targeting companies, analyzing the company, making buy/short recommendations, and executing the trades. It would be impossible for the fund to give a full banking spectrum of experience due to laws regulating what licenses people have to have to do certain jobs.
I think this would be very beneficial to non-target undergrads who can not get the traditional banking internships. What would set this apart from a school investment club is that students who excel would have the opportunity to join the fund upon graduation in a paid role. It would be a prop shop in essence. I would keep the profits from the interns or reinvest it in the fund to help hire more traders and analysts that stand out above the rest.
this would be awesome
If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.
"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
Wait one second...everything
Wait one second...everything depends on how much of that $50M did heister earn on his own. I've got friends worth more, but all old money trust funders...meaningless...
I don't know about this
I don't know about this Heister guy. His advice and general behavior on this site have been less than helpful in my experience. Obviously, I don't know the guy, but my bullshit meter is off the fuckin richter scale. I could type out a long list of reasons why, but I know this post will just degenerate into another WSO internet pissing match. $50M in your mid-twenties? You're suspect, friend.
Man made money, money never made the man
Prim.er.ate wrote: Wait one
Wait one second...everything depends on how much of that $50M did heister earn on his own. I've got friends worth more, but all old money trust funders...meaningless...
Go read his alt investing Q&A thread for additional background.
"Social cohesion and puritanical morality place roughly on my list of concerns between whether I'll pick up jock itch at the gym this week (not likely, since I don't go the gym) and whether it'll rain in Christchurch, New Zealand next Tuesday."
-Eddie
Heister discusses how he made
Heister discusses how he made his $. You be the judge:
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/non-traditiona...
See my WSO blogs here.
Obviously a sharp guy - but
I see a few people drunk on
I'm not sure his advertising
Work hard, play hard.
IlliniProgrammer wrote: If
If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
His other thread should be
I remember him saying he
"So who lost the hundy?"
Also, Heister is probably
Work hard, play hard.
I'm on the same page as RE
RE Capital Markets wrote: I
"I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."
Macro Arbitrage wrote: RE
"Social cohesion and puritanical morality place roughly on my list of concerns between whether I'll pick up jock itch at the gym this week (not likely, since I don't go the gym) and whether it'll rain in Christchurch, New Zealand next Tuesday."
-Eddie
TROLL
If he were telling the truth
I rich, smarts, and totally in debt.
M Friedman wrote: ...My
Pretty weak compared to the
M Friedman wrote: Heister
Man made money, money never made the man
RE Cap and others - if
Hes an analyst at HF and has
What possible motivation
"One man with courage makes a majority." — Andrew Jackson
Scott Irish wrote: RE Cap and
Man made money, money never made the man
RE Capital Markets wrote: I
I remember hearing about that
I rich, smarts, and totally in debt.
Oh no, someone young has
Oreos wrote: Oh no, someone
Oreos wrote: Oh no, someone
"One man with courage makes a majority." — Andrew Jackson
RE Capital Markets wrote: Why
Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.
I wrote this before reading
thedude, think you may be
WSO Conference 2013
Private Certified User Chat
sounds kind of like a badass
look at heister's other
thedude wrote: I wrote this
In his defense, having $50MM
MSF Website
MACC Website
MSF Twitter
RE Capital Markets - Fair
My firm just closed two
See my WSO blogs here.
Can someone please comment on
If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!
Hello, It's nice to see you
Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays