Pages

  • Sharebar

Really pretty girl. 22 yro. Just graduating out of Columbia. Majored in computer science. So, shes really smart too.

I'm a 25yro third year analyst at a BB.

Date went well. Dinner went really well. We laughing all the time and then I asked her what are the most important things she looked for in a guy for long term purposes. And she answered "well, the first thing is that he has to have ambition. Second, and this sounds horrible I know, but he has to be making more than me. I don't really care what he does, as long as I'm not footing our bills and really, he has to at least make more than me. Sorry if that sounds bad!"

Now, I've been on a LOT of dates, both in college and after college. I've heard the whole "I want a man with ambition" ALL THE TIME, but never the "he has to make more than me" line. That's a first! Now, gentlemen of WSO, is this a red flag? She was pretty eager for a second date but I don't know if I want to pursue that anymore. Or am I overreacting here? Cause she just forced me to compare her to an old TA's hot hot fiance who graduated med school and makes 180k while he makes ~140k which is lower than hers and she seems to be cool with that.

2

Comments (123)

  • In reply to seedy underbelly
    ThePOTUSMan's picture

    seedy underbelly wrote:
    How else do you expect to support me, douchebag.

    HA. yeah but she wasn't even cool if the man had the SAME salary as her, whether that salary be $80k or $1,500,000. The man has to always have a higher salary even if just a $1. that's what she said lol.

  • seabird's picture

    Ask her how much she makes and report back.

    “...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

    - Schopenhauer

  • asiamoney's picture

    Frankly I don't think it's an auto-ding at this point. A lot of girls probably think something like that, but would just never actually say it to a guy. Points for honesty?

    If you start to see that there's an overall pattern of her being materialistic/excessively conscious about money, however, then it's clearly a problem.

  • In reply to seedy underbelly
    ThePOTUSMan's picture

    seedy underbelly wrote:
    How else do you expect to support me, douchebag.

    LOL just saw you go to columbia, class of 12. listen babe, did you like my cologne earlier?

  • BlackHat's picture

    If I made less than my fiancee I'd kill myself

    I hate victims who respect their executioners

  • shorttheworld's picture

    does 'As long as I'm not footing our bills' mean 'pay for all my shit while i buy fendi?'

    and is that really the top of her list? yeah id get rid of that

  • Neighbor's picture

    Yeah I would give it another shot but if you can tell she's got materialistic tendencies DROP HER ASAP

    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

  • shorttheworld's picture

    note to all : most of the girls in nyc are materialistic, unballin, prestige/status chasin whores. use it to your advantage but dont fall in love with one of them :) find the alpha independent baller females for wifey

  • illiniPride's picture

    Code phrase: I'm quitting my job once I find my man but I won't settle for a lower standard of living.

    Leadership can be defined in two words: "Follow Me"

  • In reply to illiniPride
    BlackHat's picture

    illiniPride wrote:
    Code phrase: I'm quitting my job once I find my man but I won't settle for a lower standard of living.

    I haven't met many smart people in my life. IlliniPride, however, has just convinced me he is one of them. +1

    I hate victims who respect their executioners

  • WSOusername's picture

    Depends what you're looking for. Let's say she is a gold digger (we don't know this, but let's just assume), you gotta ask yourself if that's what you want. There are plenty of ppl on this site who are fine with a girl dating them just for their money, given they are hot enough. Personally, I would never do that. I wont get into my convoluted thought process here, but in short i feel like the woman always has the upper hand in money/ gold digger relationships. I wudnt touch that shit with a 10 ft. stick, not to say I don't respect those who do.....to each his own

    GBS

  • mongoose's picture

    Sounds like a golddigger. Fuck her and leave her.

  • BTbanker's picture

    I don't know guys... A Columbia grad with CS as her major doesn't scream gold digger to me. If she were an Art History major at Baruch, I would think otherwise.

  • shorttheworld's picture

    just because she got the degree doesnt mean shes goign to ball out with it lol

    ever heard of the MRS degree

  • Abdel's picture

    Don't know how you can consider her for a long-term relationship when her anwser was one of a teenager (which shows she's clearly immature and too young).

    You better do like that other banker and start updating your spreadsheets of your females.

  • In reply to turtles
    wolverine19x89's picture

    turtles wrote:
    pump and dump

    If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

    "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

  • In reply to shorttheworld
    BTbanker's picture

    shorttheworld wrote:
    just because she got the degree doesnt mean shes goign to ball out with it lol

    ever heard of the MRS degree


    Girls should just ask their dad for the 200k upfront, then give it to the guy. Saves 4 years of her life and the 22-year-old grad can have a hot 18-year-old wife.

  • Human's picture

    OP you are not going to get in bed with this girl. What is happening now is that you are trying to qualify yourself to her standards, which is a big no no in the dating world. By asking question like this, you are subconsciously admitting that you need her approval. Girls love confident guys and confident guys do not ask for anyone's approval.

    Most importantly, at any time when you are using logic/reason to justify why someone should date you, things will start going downhill. Why? If her point was she wants to date someone who make more than her, she can definitely find a lot of other guys who do. Even if you make more than her, there are still more guys who fit this quality.

    You should have never ask for qualifying questions like this. If someone asked you about your salary, just say, "let's talk about something else" If she insists, tells her, "if you tell me your boobs' size, I will tell you my salary."

    I have gone on multiple dates in NYC (including a girl who went to Columbia, whose parents are super loaded back home) without letting girls know 1) what I do for a living, 2) how much money I make, 3) where I live and 4) where I go to school. It definitely keeps things more interesting.

    FYI. I started helping guys around me to get girls as a dating coach a few years ago. As of today, with my help, two of my buddies got married to the girls that they want. I helped two other buddies get their girlfriends. And two other friends are having a lot of success with dating. I also run my dating advice blog and also write for a pretty reputable dating coach (he was featured on Men Health).

    "I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."

  • D M's picture

    She's a child. Any girl that expects you to always make more than her isn't just looking for a secure or ambitious man, she's looking for a daddy. Not necessarily a sugar daddy, but a daddy nonetheless. She has daddy issues, so as turtles so eloquently put it, pump and dump.

    "You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
    "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

  • In reply to bumpthethread
    wolverine19x89's picture

    bumpthethread wrote:
    Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for a financially-secure partner.

    what she's asking for is different though

    If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

    "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

  • MD finance's picture

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Cause she just forced me to compare her to an old TA's hot hot fiance who graduated med school and makes 180k while he makes ~140k which is lower than hers and she seems to be cool with that.

    You need to explain further.
    what is TA and she is medical and makes 180k and what about the guy, is he medical as well. I thought medical people make less than finance??

    What about your date? how much she makes ? what about you?

    The reason I am asking, is that it seems that is the main issue in your mind and it was occupying you during the date. That was the only thing you remembered or the only thing that caught your attention?

  • Cola Coca's picture

    Give her a second chance. Tell her you will see her next Tuesday.

  • AQM's picture

    You're over thinking things. If I were you, I'd take her out on another date.

  • In reply to Human
    go.with.the.flow's picture

    Human wrote:
    OP you are not going to get in bed with this girl. What is happening now is that you are trying to qualify yourself to her standards, which is a big no no in the dating world. By asking question like this, you are subconsciously admitting that you need her approval. Girls love confident guys and confident guys do not ask for anyone's approval.

    Most importantly, at any time when you are using logic/reason to justify why someone should date you, things will start going downhill. Why? If her point was she wants to date someone who make more than her, she can definitely find a lot of other guys who do. Even if you make more than her, there are still more guys who fit this quality.

    You should have never ask for qualifying questions like this. If someone asked you about your salary, just say, "let's talk about something else" If she insists, tells her, "if you tell me your boobs' size, I will tell you my salary."

    I have gone on multiple dates in NYC (including a girl who went to Columbia, whose parents are super loaded back home) without letting girls know 1) what I do for a living, 2) how much money I make, 3) where I live and 4) where I go to school. It definitely keeps things more interesting.

    FYI. I started helping guys around me to get girls as a dating coach a few years ago. As of today, with my help, two of my buddies got married to the girls that they want. I helped two other buddies get their girlfriends. And two other friends are having a lot of success with dating. I also run my dating advice blog and also write for a pretty reputable dating coach (he was featured on Men Health).

    if you don't mind,whats your dating blog called?

  • streetwannabe's picture

    Just take her on the next date and see what she's really on about. Maybe she's just extremely honest. Nobody can tell me that they don't have some honest confessions that would seem pretty fucked up being said out loud.

    "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

  • JDawg's picture

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Majored in computer science

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Just graduating out of Columbia

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Really pretty girl

    Impossible. I've never met a female CS major that's attractive, let alone one at Columbia.

    This has to be a troll post. I can't imagine a 3rd year IBD analyst dumb enough to post a question this retarded on WSO. If you're fine having a golddigger for a gf, then go ahead and continue dating her. Otherwise just pump and dump. Just a warning: if you're dumb enough to ask shit like this on internet forums, then you'll prob end up marrying some socialite-wannabe bitch and divorcing 2 years later with half your money gone.

  • In reply to JDawg
    streetwannabe's picture

    JDawg wrote:
    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Majored in computer science

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Just graduating out of Columbia

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Really pretty girl

    Impossible. I've never met a female CS major that's attractive, let alone one at Columbia.

    This has to be a troll post. I can't imagine a 3rd year IBD analyst dumb enough to post a question this retarded on WSO. If you're fine having a golddigger for a gf, then go ahead and continue dating her. Otherwise just pump and dump. Just a warning: if you're dumb enough to ask shit like this on internet forums, then you'll prob end up marrying some socialite-wannabe bitch and divorcing 2 years later with half your money gone.

    Haha, +1.

    "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

  • In reply to BlackHat
    illiniPride's picture

    BlackHat wrote:
    illiniPride wrote:
    Code phrase: I'm quitting my job once I find my man but I won't settle for a lower standard of living.

    I haven't met many smart people in my life. IlliniPride, however, has just convinced me he is one of them. +1


    Thanks BH. For the record, I respects ur brainzss too!

    Leadership can be defined in two words: "Follow Me"

  • In reply to JDawg
    blastoise's picture

    JDawg wrote:
    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Majored in computer science

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Just graduating out of Columbia

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Really pretty girl

    Impossible. I've never met a female CS major that's attractive, let alone one at Columbia.

    This has to be a troll post. I can't imagine a 3rd year IBD analyst dumb enough to post a question this retarded on WSO. If you're fine having a golddigger for a gf, then go ahead and continue dating her. Otherwise just pump and dump. Just a warning: if you're dumb enough to ask shit like this on internet forums, then you'll prob end up marrying some socialite-wannabe bitch and divorcing 2 years later with half your money gone.

  • Ovechkin08's picture

    Wow, you need to read "The Game" by Neil Strauss or the Mystery Method or Double Your Dating by David D. Read these and all of your problems will be solved...

  • monkeyc's picture

    I know plenty of 3rd year analysts, and the odd thing is the lack of confidence needed to worry about this and the guts to post it.

    Points for honesty, you need to judge the reason.I know a girl who said something similar to a friend of mine, but she ended up being cool and just wanted to focus on her work (fine arts related) without worrying to much about standard of living. No daddy problems, y'all need to stop with the dating stereotypes. It's also a pride thing, like dating a dude taller than you, from conversations I had with girls at work about this at the time, but in that case first date is too early, especially given how young you both are.

    Also, quitting once I get married can be fine. In fact, it's harder to find intelligent, non crazy women who are willing to do this and raise your little genius kids than the other way around these days, know what you're looking for.

  • In reply to Ovechkin08
    Boreed's picture

    Ovechkin08 wrote:
    Wow, you need to read "The Game" by Neil Strauss or the Mystery Method or Double Your Dating by David D. Read these and all of your problems will be solved...

    Nerd

  • In reply to JDawg
    pawsoffmymoney's picture

    JDawg wrote:
    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Majored in computer science

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Just graduating out of Columbia

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Really pretty girl

    Impossible. I've never met a female CS major that's attractive, let alone one at Columbia.

    This has to be a troll post. I can't imagine a 3rd year IBD analyst dumb enough to post a question this retarded on WSO. If you're fine having a golddigger for a gf, then go ahead and continue dating her. Otherwise just pump and dump. Just a warning: if you're dumb enough to ask shit like this on internet forums, then you'll prob end up marrying some socialite-wannabe bitch and divorcing 2 years later with half your money gone.

    RARE at columbia, but hey, it happens. pretty geek chicks are the best. Like this girl i work with, computer science, class of 11:
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenpully

  • In reply to JDawg
    DonVon's picture

    JDawg wrote:
    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Majored in computer science

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Just graduating out of Columbia

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Really pretty girl


    It's like one of those "smart, beautiful, not a bitch" only pick 2. Therefore, OP, she is a bitch. Sorry.

    "An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."
    - Dwight D. Eisenhower
    Check out my blog!

  • In reply to pawsoffmymoney
    Oreos's picture

    pawsoffmymoney wrote:
    JDawg wrote:
    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Majored in computer science

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Just graduating out of Columbia

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Really pretty girl

    Impossible. I've never met a female CS major that's attractive, let alone one at Columbia.

    This has to be a troll post. I can't imagine a 3rd year IBD analyst dumb enough to post a question this retarded on WSO. If you're fine having a golddigger for a gf, then go ahead and continue dating her. Otherwise just pump and dump. Just a warning: if you're dumb enough to ask shit like this on internet forums, then you'll prob end up marrying some socialite-wannabe bitch and divorcing 2 years later with half your money gone.

    RARE at columbia, but hey, it happens. pretty geek chicks are the best. Like this girl i work with, computer science, class of 11:
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenpully[/quote]

    Can't believe you posted her linkedin, she'll be so freaked out if she find this...

    p.s. nice casual GS name drop there too, well done, A+

    .

  • In reply to Oreos
    pawsoffmymoney's picture

    Oreos wrote:
    pawsoffmymoney wrote:
    JDawg wrote:
    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Majored in computer science

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Just graduating out of Columbia

    ThePOTUSMan wrote:
    Really pretty girl

    Impossible. I've never met a female CS major that's attractive, let alone one at Columbia.

    This has to be a troll post. I can't imagine a 3rd year IBD analyst dumb enough to post a question this retarded on WSO. If you're fine having a golddigger for a gf, then go ahead and continue dating her. Otherwise just pump and dump. Just a warning: if you're dumb enough to ask shit like this on internet forums, then you'll prob end up marrying some socialite-wannabe bitch and divorcing 2 years later with half your money gone.

    RARE at columbia, but hey, it happens. pretty geek chicks are the best. Like this girl i work with, computer science, class of 11:
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenpully

    Can't believe you posted her linkedin, she'll be so freaked out if she find this...

    p.s. nice casual GS name drop there too, well done, A+[/quote]

    haha well, isn't that the entire premise of LinkedIn though? free career-related publicity? she put it there, she meant for it to be passed around. im not saying the girl the OP went on a date with is her though since she's '11 and that girl is '12 but i just wanted to say that pretty girls in CS do exist!

  • triplectz's picture

    1. Really dick move posting the LinkedIn.
    2. This is a shitty picture, but she doesn't look that cute.
    3. Are you also in Goldman's BO?

  • In reply to pawsoffmymoney
    Oreos's picture

    pawsoffmymoney wrote:

    haha well, isn't that the entire premise of LinkedIn though? free career-related publicity? she put it there, she meant for it to be passed around. im not saying the girl the OP went on a date with is her though since she's '11 and that girl is '12 but i just wanted to say that pretty girls in CS do exist!

    Fair point, but that's not how she'll see it. She will see it as her friend either has a massive crush on her or that he thinks she hot and wants to let loads of random CS guys on the internet fap fap away to her linkedin profile.

    She definitely wont be like "this will be great exposure for my career, can't wait for the job offers to roll in".

    .

  • In reply to triplectz
    pawsoffmymoney's picture

    triplectz wrote:
    1. Really dick move posting the LinkedIn.
    2. This is a shitty picture, but she doesn't look that cute.
    3. Are you also in Goldman's BO?

    1) how was that a dick move? i've had nothing but flattery and praise to say about her. you know, i really dont understand you people sometimes.

    2) cute enough to be in finance, in a tech position, to have majored in CS, have gone to columbia. see now, YOU just made a negative commment about her. this is worse than me posting her linkedin or obama's twitter.

    3) I am Blankfein's personal shoe shiner.

  • prudentinvestor's picture

    You know there is something wrong when someone asks for dating advice on this forum.

Pages