I just came through a dispiriting process with a large mutual fund company. I made the final round of the process and they invited me to HQ for a 15 hour session with the entire team. Prior to the day, they asked me for a list of 10 personal references, which I provided as you can't really say no! After the day (which I had thought went well) I was told I was not selected (the logic I was told is either nonsense or hiding the real reason).
My issue has to do with the references. To get 10 references, I spent time on the phone and in person coaching 10 close contacts on what I was up to and how to sell me. They called 1 (my old boss, he said I was Jesus) but didn't call the rest. Now that I didn't make it I'm getting questions from my contacts and I feel a little humiliated.
Is it common and/or ethical to ask for references prior to a decision?
Hoo
It happens. I wouldn't say it's common, but it's not rare or unusual at all. With the advent of Linkedin, somebody at the firm can probably find a mutual contact and ask about you, so asking for references is becoming less necessary.
A 15 hour session? Did they keep you from 9am to midnight? Your whole post sounds a little dramatic.
Asking for 10 references would be extremely rare and in my opinion unreasonable. 2 or maybe 3 would be normal. I wouldn't even bother with a firm asking for 10 references unless they're interviewing me to be CEO, CIO, or equivalent.
It's not unusual at all for a firm to ask for references and either not call them or only call one. It's just another data point they may or may not use. I wouldn't feel embarrassed by it.
Per the 15 hour session - I had a 3 hour dinner with the heads of the team, and then the next day I had a 7-7 day
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