Relationship policies for significant other in same group at different firm

Hi everyone,

Thanks in advance for any advice. I'm in both a fortunate and unfortunate situation and hoping you all can toss some advice my way.

My significant other and I are both working at hedge funds doing similar types of work covering similar industries. We'll probably be looking at a lot of the same names, etc. For people who have been in situations like this, I'm curious for advice on two fronts...

Externally: Outside of compliance, we definitely shouldn't broadcast this at the firms, right?* My instinct is to just be broad ("he also works in finance") but what should I say if people ask where my SO works?

Internally: How have you managed this when it comes to day-to-day life? We thought of maybe just forbidding detailed discussion of work at all, but also it would be nice to talk about the specifics of stuff, especially if we can help each other out. Where have you drawn the line?

Thanks for any tips!!!

*edited to clarify after MMPM's comment. Thanks!

 

First one, is difficult cause depends on the culture of the firms but typically being fully honest is the best way to go about it. Getting caught later could make you get fired with deferred held back and then you would need to sue the firm.

On number two, absolutely zero specific details at home, need to act like there is a Chinese wall between you two and then at the office what I have seen you completely downplay it anytime it comes up, "yah they work at X", "yah their head economist is bullish rates" basically just total curveballs where no one would think you two are discussing work over dinner.

That said, outside specifics I have seen couples provide direct career feedback and advice to each other, so all the soft skills needed. But again nothing close to actual details in a model.

 

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