bad idea to choose a career based on who you enjoy being around?
I'm at a crossroads.
As a junior going into recruiting for full time roles very very soon, I've been really struggling to decide whether I want to pursue a career in deep machine learning research or private equity. I've spoken to a lot of mentors in both industries who've unanimously advised that if I choose one, I should consider other door closed.
On the one hand, I enjoy the intellectual stimulation of the tech space and love that it's where many of the world's cutting-edge problems are. On the other, the idea of having to keep up with the pace of innnovation in AI and research is stressful, and I've realized that I:
- Really do not like or enjoy being around many of the people in the tech industry / dislike the culture and lifestyle
- Have an intellectual ceiling in the things I can achieve - tech culture respects the smartest person in the room (usually not me - some people are so brilliant it's scary) and the most interesting problems are gatekept behind phds
- Do not really want to be an engineer
While I always have great conversations with grad students and reseachers, I've realized I really do not connect with or relate to most of the people I've met in industry. I've found that the majority fall into 2 categories: awkward math genius with a superiority complex who realized he could make a ton of money in tech, or the intelligent but interpersonally bland student who saw it as stable way to a cushy salary and just wants to "settle". The people I admire most in the space are all going into top PhD programs—a long and hard path I don't have the qualifications for—or startups (highly risky, technical, arduous with no guaranteed gain). There's a kind of soullessness and lack of integrity in the tech industry, where you can tell most are in it for the money, but lie to themselves about "changing the world"—often not for the better.
I have an arts background, come from a culturally diverse city, and don’t really like the outdoors. As a result, I find the startup, Patagonia, and fitness grind culture of tech personally stifling. Though this may be more city specific, I think it’s worth noting that most of the major tech work is concentrated in places like Seattle and the Bay Area.
My greatest role models in the real world all have a background in business/investment banking/private equity. I know a lot of people going into investment banking in some capacity. When I look at former investment bankers and friends, I can identity people to aspire to—people I admire for qualities beyond being good at solving puzzles—in a way I can't in tech. I also feel more at home and "me" in finance circles than I ever have in tech. Though I admire the brilliance of tech talent and really like the problem solving; I find the constant hype culture tiring, fear that my raw talent ceiling isn't high enough to out-compete the Alexandr Wangs and Lucy Guos of the world, and don't connect with the people on a personal level. There are other reasons I'm partial to finance, including career growth and relatively stable potential upside. I'm also bilingual and like the ability later in my career to work cross culturally across regions.
Is culture fit too flimsy a reason to make a major life decision?
Go where you’re wanted and where you want to be
I felt like you in uni and was an EE. I did engineering for a few years. It’s hard to switch
The perhaps even better advice would be sign a forward offer to join ib/pe in 1 year and do some AI in the meantime and see how you like it
Based on the most helpful WSO content, culture fit is not a flimsy reason to make a major life decision—especially when it comes to choosing a career. In fact, cultural fit is often a critical factor in long-term career satisfaction and success. Here’s why:
Cultural Fit Drives Longevity and Performance: As highlighted in WSO threads, cultural fit is essential because it impacts how well you connect with colleagues, mentors, and the overall work environment. If you feel "at home" in finance circles and admire the people in the industry, that’s a strong indicator that you’ll thrive there. Conversely, feeling stifled or disconnected in tech could lead to burnout or dissatisfaction, even if the work itself is intellectually stimulating.
Soft Skills and Networking Matter: In finance, qualities like interpersonal skills, humility, and being personable are highly valued. WSO contributors often emphasize that being relatable and socially adept can set you apart, even if you’re not the smartest person in the room. This aligns with your strengths and preferences, as you’ve mentioned feeling more comfortable and "yourself" in finance circles.
Career Trajectory and Role Models: Your admiration for people in finance and the ability to see role models you aspire to emulate is a significant factor. WSO threads often stress the importance of having mentors and peers you respect and can learn from. If you don’t see that in tech, it’s a valid reason to reconsider.
Avoiding Misalignment: The tech industry’s culture, as you described, seems to clash with your values and lifestyle preferences. WSO discussions frequently warn against forcing yourself into an environment where you don’t feel aligned, as it can lead to frustration and a lack of fulfillment.
Practical Considerations: Finance offers a relatively stable career path with clear growth opportunities, which seems to align with your goals. While tech may offer cutting-edge problems, the constant pace of innovation and the cultural aspects you dislike could outweigh the intellectual stimulation.
In summary, choosing a career based on cultural fit is not only reasonable but often a wise decision. It’s about finding an environment where you can excel both professionally and personally. If finance feels like the place where you can be "you" and thrive, it’s worth pursuing.
I hate to give an answer that starts with "it depends," but it really does depend on what kind of person you are. For me personally, I'm a lazy pos who's only made it this far because I happen to retain information well with zero effort and get so many passes for being a woman. I despise all work, so I have a baseline dissatisfaction for any job that exists, but ofc I despise some jobs more than others (such as any job requiring more than 60 hrs of work a week, like IB or Consulting). Because there is no single industry or role I would be happy in, the people on my team matter more than the job itself to me. So I work in a field I have absolutely zero interest in, but I was able to get through the days because I genuinely enjoyed joking around with my team and hanging out with them, we have great chemistry.
However, most of my friends in tech are in the same boat as you, especially the women. They have an aspirational and rosy view of tech, get excited when they land their dream role (usually PM) in their dream industry, and then are sorely disappointed when they realize how awful their teams are. They are stuck basically being the aspergers translators for people on the engineering side, and then they have to deal with lazy and/or incompetent managers above them. Most of them are miserable, even though they have their dream function. However, I'm not sure that they would still want to switch places with me despite going through all of that, bc they think a lot of value in their identity comes from their job title.
That's not to say finance team dynamics are any better. I think it's just that people view tech, especially FAANG (with the exception of Amazon, everyone hates Amazon), with the rosiest lens possible. They think WLB is great, so many cool perks, so the culture must be amazing and teams must be nice to work with, but then they become sorely disappointed when they find out that's not the case. I think people go into finance already expecting it to be a toxic fest, so there's not as much shock.
Just decide, does your career matter a lot for your personal identity, or are you just trying to collect a paycheck? If you're in the latter like me, team matters more than the job every single time if your goal is to avoid burnout. Also, you haven't even graduated from college yet, so you may find later on that your values are a lot different than what you initially thought. I used to think like you, but then I realized later on that I never wanted this for myself, I was brainwashed by my ivy undergrad to believe I wanted a power career. But nah, most of my female friends and I found out real quick after working that life ain't for us. I'd rather just capitalize on my looks to get free shit from men and have an easy life.
Thanks for this. Fascinating. I would actually say that a rosy view of tech isn’t common at my school aside from the startup bro hyper-nerds, for whom culture fit wouldn’t be a problem anyway. I’ve giving myself away, but since we’re very much a tech school, located in the heart of the industry, pretty hard to get into, classes are brutal, and the job market is shit, I think the tech scene at my school reflects industry fairly well so: people have a good idea of what they’re getting into and the attitude generally is pretty pessimistic (maybe not about the money, but almost certainly about the work - especially since some of the most talented kids take offers at notoriously soul sucking places like jane street). A subset of these genius nerds with true passion for the work very strongly look down on the more middling folks who do it for the money- something I find understandable in theory but super toxic in practice. There’s also a ton of condescension, only wanting to associate with people “on the same level”, and insane race/gender implicit discrimination. The thing is, it’s probably even worse than it is in finance since most of these nerds aren’t socially or emotionally tuned in enough to be aware of the implications of their behavior around these things, or flat out don’t care because they never valued being a well rounded person to being with. The kind of person who is painfully socially awkward is also likely to misread social cues around boundaries and what’s socially appropriate in a work context. I’ve had friends deal with being asked on a date by coworkers with literally zero expressed interest, a coworker who made a point to viciously attack her every idea during team meetings after being rejected, being objectified/called a w***re/stupid after being rejected. Even when it’s not this overt, a ton of these guys dont know how to interact with women, and it manifests as dismissing your credibility by default, subtle exclusion, or not wanting to work with you. Honestly even when it doesn’t affect me directly, just knowing that I have to work with someone who is fairly likely to be a closet misogynist who would buy a wife from southeast asia makes me deeply uncomfortable. It doesn’t help that tech is dominated by men from patriarchal cultures (east asian, indian) more conservative than the west.
A lot has also shifted in the past few years with the horrible job market, stagnating pay, AI being able to do the work of a new hire software engineer, and vibe coding. I think a good majority of students on the tech route here come from backgrounds where it’s the path of least resistance and never even consider finance as an option. There’s also a privilege element. IB recruiting requires you to be aware of that path from freshman year. Most of my peers in tech wouldn’t have had that clairvoyance, particularly as we’re not a true target school. It’s interesting how it’s different at Ivies.
I’m the former. My career is paramount to my identity (pardon my youth)
Sorry for the tangent. Had to get that off my chest. Can’t say this in real life without stepping on toes.
Totally respect that you value your career. From what it sounds like, OP, you and I came from opposite situations. It seems like you go to a school that is very tech-dominant, whereas I went to one that was very finance/consulting dominated, but tech was seen as something aspirational and romanticized because we weren't considered a "feeder/target" for it, so maybe folks had less industry exposure to what the reality of the industry was like until after they started working there. (Granted I finished undergrad years ago so times may have changed).
My suggestion is to get more exposure to the IB/PE world before you fully commit to deciding you like the environment better, the culture there also sucks and is toxic in a different way, it's about picking which is the lesser of two evils based on your taste. In my first finance job, my boss (white dude in his early 60s) basically requested that I always wear heels in meetings once when he got tipsy from a happy hour because he said the clients/prospective clients liked looking at my legs. That shit doesn't really bother me bc I came from a culture that makes me desensitized to those kinds of comments, but that would fall in line about your concerns about female objectification in the workplace.
The main difference is that finance has fewer autistic people and indian/asian men in senior roles. There are also creeps who worked in PE and Hedge Funds that overstepped their boundaries with me when I clearly demonstrated I was not interested, (like getting a hold of my personal number without my permission and messaging me nonstop, inappropriate body contact) and I had to get a third party to intervene, so the finance world also isn't immune to creeps like that. I think it's easier to grow cynical towards a field the more exposure you have to it, I just advise you make sure you genuinely know you prefer the environment in high finance to tech and are not just assuming the grass is greener because you haven't seen enough of the industry.
It's just another factor which might move the needle for you so it will depend. Personally I love people in my office/finance because they're mostly my kind of people (I was in a different industry before and the comparison made me really realise this) and it makes me enjoy my time more.
Also how are you planning a career in deep learning research with an arts background??
What industry were you in previously?
Actually I think this is a very reasonable way to choose a path... less so the stereotype of person in it, but more if you are not happy being an engineer / sitting quietly coding all day, you won't like that path.
Same with how someone who is very shy and just wants to grind numbers all day with headphones on probably won't be a good senior in IB or PE, which are very outgoing fields at the top.
People get very caught up in what role is the most prestigious, but you should definitely take your strengths and work style into account. Really from your post I question why you're even considering an engineering path, is the answer "my parents want me to" or "it's popular and prestigious at my school"?
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