Coffee Chats: Be a “Chiller” or Go Technical with Alumni?

Quick question for those who’ve done a lot of networking/coffees as undergrads. When you’re setting up a coffee chat with an alum (especially in banking or finance), do you try to keep it laid-back and ask about their college experience—stuff like drinking stories, fun on campus, why they picked their major, etc.—or do you keep it super technical and focus on market outlooks, deal talk, etc.?

I’m asking because I don’t want to waste someone’s time if they’re taking 10 minutes out of a busy workday, but at the same time, I’m not sure if going straight into technicals is the move, especially if it’s supposed to be a casual coffee chat.

Would appreciate any advice on finding the right balance—how much to lean into just being relatable and how much to make it a focused, technical conversation.

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Still an undergrad so take with a grain of salt, but I think finding a good balance is always key. Where that balance is exactly, I would recommend you skew to the side of being a chiller. Bankers are way more likely to push someone through who might not be technically sound, but is just an awesome human being vs. a technical god that's also as personable as a brick. Personality hires exist for a reason. 

 

Do a mix of both. We aren't taking your calls because we really want to socialize with college sophomores.

When I take your call I want to help by being able to answer any genuine questions you have. I'm also looking for two things:

  1. Is this person genuinely interested in the role and did they take the time to at least gain some baseline understanding of my group?
  2. Are they personable? I'd rather work with someone who's fun to be around than sit next to a dork all day.
 

No magical formula. It depends on the person. The goal of a networking call is to sound like a colleague, but there are fratty groups and there are nerdy groups. A person might feel relatable if you talk about drinking stories, but another might feel relatable if you talk about your views on structured minority stake investments. 

 
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There's not really a direct right or wrong answer - at the end of the day, the bankers you're talking to are just people, and you just have to go through enough chats to get the right sense of what the other person wants to focus on (the sense you get from them).

It's generally pretty easy to tell if someone just wants to shoot the shit vs. someone who is clearly just pre-screening candidates for interviews, so you have to be prepped for both (a lot easier for in-person chats).

A good way to test the waters (or at least what I used to do): I'd have my TMAY be pretty personal, I don't dwell a ton on finance - and after I'm doing saying it, if the person I'm chatting doesn't have many personal questions or they just jump into their story and put a really put a huge focus on only work, you can assume they probably want to keep it more 'professional' (you can of course still try to get them to talk about other things, but it's a safe assumption).

That's just what I've found, but there's really not a right or wrong answer, you have to be adaptable, be prepared for anything and adjust to the sense you're getting from the person 

 

Generally when I do coffee chats with students I steer the conversation towards something more chill that gets me to understand their motivations.

My favorite topics include how depreciation is reflected across all 3 statements, the 3 month outlook on vanilla futures, and beers. 

Seriously though -- The most important part is to not look like you're trying too hard. 

 

Also, an undergrad who just finished recruiting, so take my advice with a grain of salt, as I may be wrong. What I noticed is that it definitely depends on the banker. 

During my chats, I noticed three types of personalities. Those who are super chill and want to talk about life/college/experience, the second are those who like to talk a mix about both work and personal life (common), and the third is the banker who only talks about work/market/industry and may even ask you a technical or two (happened to me before). You have to adjust your personality based on the banker, but for me, I always read up on what's going on in their coverage group ahead of time (just in case) and had questions ready based on how the conversation goes, if it makes sense. You don't need big industry knowledge, just be curious and listen. 

It took me lots of chats to figure it out, and even then I still had bad chats chats as I'm constantly figuring it out as an undergrad. Hope this helps, but I'm sure you'll get better advice from someone else who has had more experience! 

 
Funniest

i like to lighten things up with a couple questions to start.

"what was your bonus last year?"

 

Yeah, this is a good question. I usually take it pretty chill cause I mostly spoke to my school's alumni. But yes, start of formal, feel out the other person's vibe, and then decide. I also used this new AI tool called cafeyap.com to manage all of my coffee chats. it was pretty helpful.

 

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