Dealing with psycho analyst behavior
I need some advice. I’m in a really chill group at an EB outside NYC. Everyone is awesome except for this one third year analyst. He rode the bench on a big d1 sports team (a BIG one) and he treats the office like a fucking locker room.
It was funny at first, but it’s really starting to drive me fucking crazy. For some reason the rest of the bullpen seems to tolerate it (probably because there’s only one girl junior) I’ve asked him to stop or made comments and he either makes some dumb joke or straight up ignores me. Idk what to do.
Examples of what this guy does: -Wears loafers without socks and prides himself on how awful his feet smell at the end of the day. He will kick off his shoes around 4-5pm to “let the dogs breathe” and will hoot and whistle about how rank the scent is today.
-Constantly “adjusting” himself while in full view of everyone and standing up talking to people.
-Announces that he’s gonna rip ass and just let’s it fly. I told him that was vile and he said “if we can’t take his heat, get out of his kitchen”
-I was finishing up at the urinal and was reading and email and he asked me “bad case of stage fright when big papa rolls in huh?” and then came back and announced to the pen that I can’t pee around him.
-Constantly commenting about people using the bathroom ex. asking someone coming back “rate that shit out of ten” or “John is back from dropping some serious heat” and keeping stats on how many times a week ppl shit.
Am I crazy for thinking this behavior is absolutely ridiculous and not appropriate at all for the office?
Honestly sounds pretty funny to me... guessing you weren't much of a locker room guy. Sure, some of it is juvenile, but let me give you some advice... You're letting this bro behavior live rent free in your head to the point you feel the need to post about it on a forum and ask for advice. I'd recommend finding a way to not let the things people do around you (that are seemingly innocuous for the most part) bother you so much.
There’s a difference between what people do around you and when you become the target of something i.e. the comments directed at me and others
other than the comment on your stage fright... can you give another example of how these are directed at you and others?
Who knew that telling someone to be stoic and not let things bother them could be so controversial; the human race seems doomed...
imagine spending 16 hours of your day around smelly feet, farts and a guy fiddling his privates right in your face, asking someone to remain stoic about that sounds like autism
This is hilarious lmao. Honestly me and my boys act the same way once the seniors leave - makes the job 10x better than working with a bunch of hardo losers. I’d be friends with this guy
You guys fart on each other, keep track of each other's shits, talk to each other while pissing and brag about body odor to one another?
Are you A) Gay, B) Fucking cavemen, C) Both????
Definitely both.
LMFAO this has to be fake
Ask him he redshirted first year since he is hanging around for his third year? A2A track? Must not be a PE draftable talent about to become one of those grad assistant stealing signs at away game or carrying around Gatorade.
careful - you might get hit with MS by the people on this site who can't handle a little friendly bro culture. Besides, this guy can't even pee next to AN3... you think he'd be able to make those comments?
MS not worth anything. Neither are bananas. Doesn’t phase me either way.
You have to assert your dominance. Start by slipping in 50mg Russian Tsar Bomba pouches (can be smuggled in from Europe) into his 6mg citrus flavored zyns every morning until he develops a stage 5 crippling nic addiction. You also need to completely stop showering. You should be able to overpower the musk from his dirty dogs by your own stench. Nothing says you have the biggest balls in the office by making it smell like an unwashed high school gym pinnie.
Finally, you need to be able to successfully navigate “locker room culture”. I would start by cold calling former pro athletes for coffee chats think (NFL, NBA, NHL) to get a better day-to-day understanding. Keep a towel by your side at all times and learn how to efficiently “towel-whip” (see wikihow.com for instructions) to never be caught lacking.
By following these steps I believe you’ll be on the right track to top-bucket and top dawg in the office. I can guarantee he won’t mess with you after that. Let me know how it goes!
Why is everyone so passive aggressive here. If this analyst bothers you so much tell him his feet are disgusting and make fun of him.
When he makes another bathroom monitoring comment announce on the floor that he has a weird obsession with other men's chitting habits and whether he's projecting any internally confusing thoughts about men's asshole activities.
Stuff like that. Don't whine here...call him out
yep that's the way
Hahaha make sure everyone knows he’s Mr.PoopPatrol
Let him cook. Sounds like an absolute boy
Better than being in bull pen with a bunch of losers. At least he makes it fun
Glad to hear PC Principal from South Park found a new gig
Sounds like a fun dude. But I do agree with you that at work it might get annoying af
Like how does all that not give you ammo to rip back on this person. They are literally a walking meme. Like honestly man, you need to grow a pair.
Honestly sounds funny - I feel like every bullpen needs some sort of entertaining person (doesn't have to be like this guy but some person out of the norm) to keep things light and chill. If you're around a bunch of hardos with no personality the long nights feel longer. I wish we had someone like this, part of the reason why I love when interns are around becuase they seemingly add more character to the office
I learned in this industry you either roll with the punches or dish back - do one of these instead of what you’re doing
this shit has me rolling Lmao
If he’s so concerned about your stool movements, take a picture and send it to him on Snapchat or something
I’m really surprised more people haven’t suggested this 🤣
Was d3 athlete and varisty in high school. This is exceptionally retarded, egotistical behavior and I would encourage you to conk him on the face with a cartoon-sized anvil like in Looney Toons. IDK what sport he played but I've basically wasted 1000s of hours on a field & never tolerated such boorish bullshit
D3… obviously no one would get stage fright standing next to you. Not even close to big pappa status
what sports do you play
are you jewish
are you from Sakhnīn by chnace bro?
“D3 athlete and varsity in high school”. All I needed to hear, you’re a narp
Did you just use playing varsity high school sports as a reason for why people on this board should value your opinion on the subject?
Just start making fun of him all the time based on the stuff he does.
Lol this is really specific… “Big papa” is gonna flame you when he sees this
I live for these kinds of threads.
Unfortunately you can do nothing except changing of environment. going to an other department in the same company or simply going to an other company
but get used to meet this type of people, its more and more common in today's society. generally they are a good hint that you're not at the right place, you deserve better
If you can, make an anonymous complaint to HR and insinuate you are female.
That is truly evil, lol.
Genius.
Idk man, I think its probably inappropriate, but who cares lol. I'd probably just deal with it and stay away from him. He isn't hurting anyone.
Big papa seems to be living rent free
Sounds disgusting. If he's really that annoying I'd dish it to him just once but in full view & earshot of the team. Don't get into a 1v1 pissing war with anyone, but just next time he does some dumb shit in front of the entire team be like "X, are you a fucking cave man? Seriously, it's disgusting. This isn't the USC locker room and you sure as fuck aren't Caleb Williams. It's like locker room cancer, good christ, figure it out"
A quick but well-deserved tongue lashing in a moment of genuinely understandable frustration or disgust is socially acceptable in IB and it will also demonstrate that you aren't the guy to bring that nonsense around.
This has to be fake lmaoooo
Just peep at him when he's in the stall, to assert your dominance
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