Director repeatedly either spells my name wrong or doesn't address me at all in emails
I'm a first year analyst at a large BB and this one director constantly either spells my name wrong in emails or she doesn't address me at all "Hello, [body of email]". I've noticed she does address others.
It feels a bit disrespectful and I'm just ignoring for now. I want to see if it's more of a pattern, but it feels rude, especially of it continues.
Also concerned about long term career growth in the group if this Director has some sort of ambivalence/dislike for me from this disregard, but that's an aside.
Anyone have any tips? Should I just ignore? I got a good tip from my Aso that I should leave my ego etc. at the door (speaking generally, not that I have one) and just be a sponge and learn. But it's not an ego thing to insist that my name is spelled properly, right?
Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are some tips for dealing with this situation:
Document the Issue:
Professional Development:
Email Summaries:
Whenever you have a discussion or receive instructions, follow up with an email summarizing the conversation. This can help reinforce your name and ensure clarity in communication. For example:
Hi [Director's Name], As per our discussion earlier, I have made the following changes... Best, [Your Correct Name]Respect and Professionalism:
Addressing the Issue:
If the issue persists, consider addressing it directly but politely. You could say something like:
Hi [Director's Name], I noticed that my name has been misspelled in a few emails. Just wanted to clarify that it is spelled [Your Correct Name]. Thank you! Best, [Your Correct Name]Focus on Performance:
Long-term Career Growth:
By following these steps, you can address the issue professionally while maintaining focus on your career development.
Sources: How to Deal With Rude/Asshole/Disrespectful Interviewers?, Year 1 in consulting - tips, tricks, advice, and unspoken rules., Ways of Underperformance - and how to avoid them (Part 1), Be Careful what you write to HR (Real Life Example), How to deal with a narc at work?
Not that deep, would just ignore and move on. Had a director call me the wrong name for months during my first year and now it’s a funny joke in the bullpen
You're supposed to leave your ego at the door, not your balls.
Be bigger person, don't make a stink, not worth.
Curiously, is your name hard to spell?
No it's simple and in my signature.
It's understandable that you want to address this issue in a constructive way with your boss, without coming across as resentful or petty.
misspell their name back
Is your name complicated? Personally, I would say something if it carries on for much longer and it looks like a pattern. She'll respect you for it if you do it respectfully. If she doesn't then your future wasn't too bright at the group anyway, and her problem with you is something more than your name. Either way, you'll stand out...And that ego shit is lame advice in this context. There's nothing egotistic about asking someone to address you correctly. You're a human being first.
You can't really control if someone will like you after a certain point. If most people don't have many complaints about you, and you're presentable, respectful, and an otherwise pleasant person to be around then you've done everything you can do. Some people just won't like you no matter what you do. It can be as serious as someone not liking your race or as dumb as your face reminds her of her college boyfriend who dogged her out and broke her heart. You'll never know why some people have a problem with you, but that's their problem. You can't please everyone.
And at the of the day you have to get up and look at yourself in the mirror. Some people would be perfectly ok feeling disrespected by a superior just as long as they don't rock the boat and they can keep their job, I couldn't do it. Like I said, you're a human being first and you have to carry yourself a certain way. You make too many concessions in life and you'll wake up one day hating what you see in the mirror and feeling like a bitch. Just pick your battles and make sure it is what you think it is.
I had this when I was an Associate.
I replied all to an email "Who is x?". X being the misspelled name.
No response, from then on it was spelled correctly.
You don't have to be a prick but if it's a pattern then just call it. Nothing they can do and calling them out in a factual abs unemotional well makes them look stupid.
Frankly if someone doesn't like you then calling them out on shitty behaviour won't change their opinion of you. Neither will being a doormat.
I can see this backfire big time
I had someone who regularly did this (MD) with simple, common names... eventually their senior (group head) was CCed on an email and spoke to them off to the side, because I got a ping 30 minutes later from the MD apologizing
I personally laughed this off with the bullpen at the time and it didn't really bother me, it only makes that person look bad. If you're peeved by it, there's nothing wrong with just pinging them how your name is spelled
Thanks for all the comments. I'll see how it goes in the coming weeks and months. But let's say I didn't misread the situation and she just doesn't like me, am I doomed in the group? I get along with everyone else fine and the group Heads and staffer like me, so? It's an interesting group, and I don't want to throw stuff away by playing an overconfident hand.
This happened to me in my SA at an MM. Its a lean team and the top MD called me by the wrong name (I have a very basic simple name) for a whole week until another MD heard it and corrected him. Everyone else just watched the whole thing go on. Half of the group grab coffee with the MD every morning and just watched him address by the wrong name for days. I immediately started to network for FT and declined the return offer. See if others bother to correct her. If not I would not bother with this group anymore because it signals deeper culture issues.
Thanks for your message. It happens on emails etc., not really ever face to face. Sometimes it'll be misspelled sometimes it'll just be demanding something without a hope you are well or whatever which I don't mind too much I just put that down to her personality/style
I have a Spanish name so many people misspell my name. It's a simple name overall, but it happens all the time for some reason, both in emails and in-person. I don't care about it tbh the situation you discribed in slightly different as she might have some motive doing so, but anyway I wouldn't care much. At the end of the day, there are billions of more important things, so someone misspelling your name is not something worth bothering
My thing is that it's a very basic thing to write someone's name properly. It's just a bad look when you receive a flawlessly written email with zero spelling or grammar errors, apart from your name. It's in my signature, it's not hard to get right. What's worse is that she also has a difficult name lol, it's not common at all.
Me, personally, I double check someone's name before I send something off. My staffer accidentally spelled my name wrong due to autocorrect and immediately apologised. I don't think this should be hard. The only awkward thing here is that she is so senior that I don't want to be seen as causing a stink for no reason.
I totally get it and I also double check my spelling, especially names. On the other hand though, I've rarely been apologised by someone who misspelled my name. I guess it their bad personal culture, don't know, but people usually don't feel bad. At some point I literally stopped taking care and it's just much easier. Not saying it's the best approach, but I really feel it's not worth to waste mental energy on overthinking when and why someone misspelled my name. I understand it's different for you as she probably does it on purpose, but still you can either do something like writing "and I'd like to point out my name is X", or simply ignore it. I'd do the latter. Alternatively you can also ask her if she finds your name difficult or something, but this will rather make things going south...
I was a mechanic at a bike shop in HS. No one could get my last name right. It's phonetic but long. It was the summer of 1995 and Astro Creep 2000 was just released. We had a pretty metal group of guys so they started calling me Astro Creep vs Astro Turf which is what they called me before. Everyone went by last name because we had like 3 Johns. It was an upgrade...both sort of could maybe sound like my last name. I took it as a win. Who gives a crap? Either you're being hazed or you name is too hard, does it matter? Do something valuable so people won't forget. I still talk to the owner of that bike shop 30 years later, who is an awesome person.
“Hey Alex, can you do X, Y, Z by tonight? Thx”
“Aleks*, but certainly, will do! Thanks.”
Or
“Barry should have the notes from today’s call - please send around to the team so John is up to speed, thx.”
“Will send those over shortly, kind reminder that my name is “Berry”, thanks!”
It’s really not that hard. Your name is your identity dude, no one should be on so much of a pedestal they can’t take 30 seconds and spell it correctly. Unless your name is like Avikanjit or something that’s really - I guess not conventionally English sounding, they should get it right. Even in the latter case, after a while you should hold them accountable to get it right, just give more grace.
Even in the latter case, pronunciation will be butchered, spelling should not.
Everyone’s name is literally in the email. Takes 2 seconds to double check.
bold and increase the font of your correctly spelled name in your signature each time they get it wrong
I'd say you have to read the room. Could be some disrespect thing, but most likely not (unless you did something that made your boss mad and this is passive aggressive.)
Some people just have trouble with different names. Sometimes it's just people's name/spelling* some people just have difficulty with certain names. For example, I know that Aaron and Erin are suppose to be said differently, but I say them the same. Or, maybe you have a name like Caleb, but you say it's pronounced "Kal"-eb, and it's just difficult for your boss to process. Or, could be a Steve, Steven, Stephan thing, maybe she's use to Steve or Stephan, but you spell it Steven doesn't know which way to go. I had a football coach like this, maybe he couldn't read well, but basically just called kids whatever he felt like. I basically became a first name guy because he couldn't say my last name.
*note: I never get when parent's give their kids difficult names in terms of spelling variations. Having a hard to pronoun name is name is one think, but variations just sentence your kid to having to spell their name for the rest of their life. "Jessyica" "Khristyne" "Chrysstin", why make it difficult?
Thanks. I'm not fussed about pronunciation because I understand it can be difficult for some people, but the actual spelling is easy and my only gripe is it being misspelled on emails/messages.
Yea that's kind of messed up then. I mean, you can't send an email to someone if they misspell a name. I get he's above you, but I always try to make sure the names I type match the email.
How much older is your MD, like 40s or like 70 years old, and is it just a letter change or a a lot of letters different. No offense, doesn't mean youre not liked, could just be maybe he has a close relative or friend who spells your name that (unless its spelled incorrectly)
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