GF or Single in IB?

GF or single in IB?

have a situation where the relationship could pivot either way and not sure what to do. Just started as an An1 and it’s been a blast going out a ton on the weekends and feeling some fomo of not being able to hookup or meet new girls. 
 

I haven’t really ramped up yet since I just started so I’ve had a ton of free time which makes me think once I’m in the weeds working weekends and can’t go out that I would miss having a gf. 
 

thoughts?? Have no problem being single, I’m social and like meeting new people and chicks, but understand that it might be better to have something steady in IB

24 Comments
 

I once dated a fellow banker for a bit, and my father offered some sage advice:

“Most marriages involving just one investment banker usually fail. Double that and the odds are definitely stacked against you.”

Obviously the above is a generalization (many many bankers can maintain relationships / marriages), but he definitely had a point worth considering…

 
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Lots of people on here are all anti dating in IB, but I actually think its great.

Being single and meeting girls takes a lot of time and effort- lots of my single friends either end up ditching out on work for dates/bar nights, or just end up barely interacting with girls during the analyst years.

I can come home whenever I finish work and get laid with 0 effort and don’t need to deal with the effort of meeting new people.

The caveat is you need a girlfriend who gets it. If she’s needy and will get annoyed if you’re always cancelling stuff or getting stuck at work, then it’s destined to fail. If she has a good job and also works hard, it’s awesome

 

It depends the dynamic. If you have a supportive significant other who gets why you are doing it and is supportive of you and the mutual sacrifice then it’s great. 
 

That said, most people aren’t mature enough to understand why you are doing it and will resent you for not spending time with them and begin getting lonely and upset.

Candidly, if you find a girl or boy who is supportive during your banking stint and gets what you are doing, then just ring them already, they are a keeper for sure. 
 

On the banker thing, it’s good because they mutually get it, but it’s bad because you both are stressed and think you are the most important person in the world. Likely to end in shambles, but can be a nice arrangement for awhile.

 

My GF is in IB and it’s great.  She understands the long hours and there is no guilt if plans get cancelled, etc.  We meet up at night during the weekdays and we spend time on weekends together.  It’s ideal.  Let’s face it, we all need to have some solid connections with people.  It’s a basic need.  I can’t imagine trying to do this alone tbh.  In my first year, I dated a girl who wasn’t in IB for a few months and it was just too hard with the unpredictability of my schedule. She really didn’t understand the demands of my job and she ended up feeling hurt.  That’s not fair either and made me feel like crap.   I would 100% recommend dating a girl in IB.  They are hard to find though, so if you spot a good one, don’t let her go lol

 

Piggybacking on this with my own $0.02 but dating someone who's in IB doesn't necessarily make the relationship better but I feel like at least the compromise and foundation is well established because you both know what you're getting yourselves into and what to expect with how unpredictable and demanding the job is and so forth for both parties. That said, with the women I have met who are either in IB or have been interested in going in to IB doesn't necessarily go for IB dudes.   

Contra omnes dissident
 

I was quite literally in an identical situation to yours. Ended it yesterday out of respect for her. It sucked but was the right thing to do.

 

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