High Finance in Austin? Grow up. (Texas Chili Parlor is Paradise)

Listen, I am born and raised in Texas, graduated university in Austin, and still live in Texas now work in MM tech firm's corp dev group, but I think it's time "high finance" bros in austin grow up. Look obviously you have your sophomore-senior aged students who work slave labor at unpaid internships for mom and pop shops that mostly focus on MM tech M&A, and honestly these people are not my intended target audience. Don't want to say names but I think we all know which tech advisory shop I'm taking about… lol they legit have like 3 real employees that aren't MDs/owners, and I'm pretty sure these guys work PE mega firm type hours. I've heard stories of guys taking naps in closets while their MD steps out for lunch. And supposedly one of their tech enabled quants, who is considered an associate but really does the duties of everything from SA-Partner, lives in some dump in east Austin where the roof caved in a few months back. Keep in mind this guy is taking home close to half a mil, easy. Please don't ask me how I know this.

Finally, I'll now get to my main point. Many of you probably thought I was gonna rant about the vista douche bags who can't seem to live without their French hockey pads, or the scum bags who work in Lazard's emerging markets group that seem to have some sick and twisted ideological background that's loosely based off the Australian zip line theory implemented by Dane Dawson, astute tech investor, in the late 1980s. Well while I'm certainly not the biggest fan of these guys…

I'm talking about the motherfuckers at Austin FC's leveraged finance group. I mean talk about bad dudes (smh and spit on it). These people- if you can even call them that- have to be, hands down, the most sick and twisted individuals I have ever interacted with. I ran into a senior vp quant who had been with the group since it's birth in Q4 of 02 at a bar near UT's campus known as "the local." I think the real name is Stratton Ross' saloon or something like that. But anyway, this guy had on an MLS polo (all black- couldn't even read the logo), a Wharton vest, HHM (Hamlin Hamlin McGill) Peter chiller q-zip and an barbor jacket with an Italian bbq logo sewed onto each pocket (there must've been 16-27 pockets on the jacket). We got into a discussion about cars and transportation/commuting. Within a few minutes he wouldn't shut up about his new pathfinder helicopter (think Renegade alchemy) which he'd received for his Q1 bonus. In sum the dude was a douch/chacherino) and I didn't feel comfortable being in the same structure as him. While I could go more in depth I'm dont want and am not going to.

Lastly, I'm convinced Texas Chili parlor is the best establishment in the state of Texas and maybe in the west, and I think it will likely be around far after my lifetime or anyone reading this for that matter. The magnums are ducking awesome for those of you who like booze and the steak enchilada combo hits even better each time I order it. Every time I go I can always count on my server being a complete piece of shit, and giving me attitude anytime I try to place an order. The structure itself is always burning hot (think cuz the chili they got cooking all day and night) which I feel actually makes me enjoy steaming hot bowls of chili even more (usually will order at least one large bowl of XXX heat and a few steak enchilada plates with XXX heat on the enchilada - to compliment). Anyways if any of you austin high finance dirt bags are reading this come to the chili parlor any night on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Sunday and chances are you will see a calm, well-shaved guy in the back corner reading last quarter's paper. If you happen to disagree with anything I discussed you definitely shouldn't fucking approach me (the guy in the other corner - save that part for another time). TCP- Texas Chili Parlor is Paradise.