How do you guys return?

Hi fellow monkeys. I'm an analyst at a BB (did a full complete year at another bank before lateraling). For the holidays, I've come home and will be working from here like many of you. Ever since I started banking, I've sort of been in autopilot mode. I've worked through the late nights and never ending turns. Last year I came home for Christmas but only for 2 days as we were looking to launch a deal at the start of the new year, so I was really distracted. Most other holidays I've spent with my friends or girlfriend (spent thanksgiving w/ gfs family this year). 
 

This time around, I've got a little bit more free time on my hands and it has really been fucking with my mind. I guess I just never really stopped to appreciate all the things that used to be a part of my life. Like helping my mom make sugar cookies or watching football with my dad and hearing his horrible takes. Even more so, the more subtle moments that you experience when you're there day to day are things I had just boxed up and put in a corner of my brain. I'm getting an intense bout of anxiety realizing that I just won't have this part of life anymore and don't know how to deal with it.
 

To be clear, I love my job and love my life. I love living in NYC, the shit we get up to and was actually lowkey dreading going to my parents because of how slow it gets. But I guess I never realized that being close to them gives me a level of internal peace that I don't otherwise have. My question to y'all is, I'm sure you guys feel this too. How have you coped with it? They live on the opposite side of the country and not in a big city so even if I relocated they would be a flight away. I can also try taking more trips to see them but we all know how this job is and with friends and girlfriend stuff I have only a few holidays and long weekends I can allocate. Should I shake this feeling off or is there some other perspective that will help me accept this new phase of my life.

 
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