How to keep life fun
So outside of work, I try to workout, eat relatively healthy, keep in touch friends, drink and socialize on the weekend once or twice a month to hopefully get laid. The last 12 months of my life since on the desk have been among the least eventful of my life, and I dread another 20-30 years more of this. How do you keep it interesting? You work all day long every day just to look forward to a day or two of vacation a couple times a year till you're a senior? Fuck
Also I find myself growing less personally. Once I'm in my bed at night I feel like scrolling through instagram reels instead of reading a book or even watching a TV show or watching a movie. Senior year I was in the gym for 90 mins a day, running, reading books out on campus, meeting new people all the time, etc.
Bump, curious as well.
Be okay with making less money and getting some your life back. If not now than in a few years. My plan at least.
This^. I’m leaving banking after 2 years for a LMM PE firm, all in pay was 160K. Will make like half the money but will only work 60 hours on average. Will report back lol. Not NYC
what's their aum? this seems a bit low even for lmm. maybe they have some co-invest in place or even gave you carry? super lcol area? guess by saying you're gonna be making half as much as you would be, you mean you'd be promoted at your bank and making $320k as an associate if you choose to stay in banking?
It was a phone problem for me. The finance hours are nothing new, the cratering mental health is.
Set your screentime limits for IG 20 minutes and make the Apple fitness app send you as many annoying reminders as it can.
Made me realize I would rather go for a walk, go to the gym, or go hang with friends doing literally anything else than get sucked down the IG black hole every night.
First ~3 years suck. No way around it. After that it gets a lot better. I am having materially more fun than in college - impromptu trips to Europe, random lunches / happy hours whenever - time to hit the gym 3x a week go out every weekend, go out multiple weeknights, significantly greater control over my schedule etc. It's not even describable how much nyc (and the world really) opens up to a man >28 who has managed to stay in shape and is making substantial income.
you're feeling empty because you're not working towards something. if you flipped it to you're socializing and meeting people because you eventually want to get married and be a father, gives it a different purpose (though I'd argue you won't find a high quality mrs at the bars). begin with the end in mind
also, you probably need a phone detox, your baseline requirements of dopamine are likely fucked up from the phone. source: I was addicted to social media as well, quit summer of 2020 and have never been happier
finally, I've written about how to design your life, set goals, etc., ad nauseum here, take a look around. it's simple, but not easy
Be excited for the small things. Embrace the joi de vivre, stop and smell the roses, all those cliches.
Coming off the immense high that is college, you've entered the true adult phase of life. Most things are just mundane as a lot of it is centered around work, saving, and generally more "things I have to do" and not "things that hype me up". Big, exciting things like travel and momentous life events start to become few and far between.
Embrace the mindset of really focusing on the experience, no matter how small or inconsequential, instead of chasing the high. Think of the experience as unique, not relative.
Beautiful, sunny day? Fuck yeah, I'll detour by the lake. 5 extra minutes of commute versus the immense pleasure of feeling the wind off the water, seeing people out and about enjoying their day.
Taking 15 minutes to down lunch or coffee out in the sun people watching instead of thinking about work. Nobody going to kill you for being off your desk for 15 minutes.
New restaurant or new type of food? Hype!
Met someone new and fun. Hype!
Getting out early on a random weekday and having free time. Hype!
Someone's flowers on my street in full bloom. Hype!
Got a good workout in and feeling good. Hype!
All of that is just today for me. Fucking hype bro!
Delusion and taste are two different things, not to be conflated.
It's not so much delusion as gratitude/keeping things in perspective.
All I said was enjoy the little things lol. I don't get what you're trying to say here.
Speak for yourself I travel 5x more than in college, party just a bit less but each instance is significantly better, eat way better food, quality of women has gone up (age has not) etc.
Worked my way through college, didn't really get to travel much, so I totally ball out on holidays now. My point was that you can also enjoy the little things.
Hobbies, my man.
You need to find things you enjoy and do them. Now that you’re presumably making decent money, you can take a maximalist approach to them.
Bump times a thousand. Only a summer intern right now but picked up MMA classes on the weekend (I know this may not continue) and wanted to pick back up guitar. TBH feels like I have more time on the job right now than I did in school because of less extracurricular orgs/obligations that could conflict. Things are more streamlined to be work and me time. Was wondering how I'll sustain my "whole person" once I start FT and hours get more intense.
To be honest you have to be ready to make sacrifices. I was always the type of person to be a perfectionist, I want to get 7 hours of sleep, an hour in the gym, have a clean apartment, plan my meals, plan ahead of going out to make sure I have enough time to recover after lol, stuff like that. But you can't maintain all that when you're working IB hours. Pick and choose a few things and learn to compromise, otherwise it'll take a big toll on your mental health when you realize you can't really do it all.
Never been someone who's into music as much as my friendship group but recently got dragged along to a festival and it really changed my perspective on balancing fun with career in purpose. Since then got much more into dance music / good DJs, met some cool people at low-key dance events and it's added an incredible dimension to my life that I never knew existed. I guess my advice is be open to new experiences, say yes more and actively put yourself outside your comfort zone with a positive attitude, it can go a long way.
I second this. If you ever feel bored with life, drop some M at a festival.
Not easy to find time for fun stuff. My fiancé and I are both working a lot at the moment, so it's not just time; we try to go easy on spending too. So we try to have some home fun - we often play chess and watch trivia quizzes on YouTube or have friends over and cook together. Things like that. But generally speaking, I feel like at some point, you have to compromise - work fewer hours, have less money, and rebuild your life to be more fulfilling. That's the plan for some time after the wedding. If you have a clear goal with a timeline, I think it'll be easier to go through the difficult parts.
You'll have this happen throughout your career: lulls of enjoyment that make you question whether it's all worthwhile.
In my case, this often passes after a few months at most. Something new happens in the markets, I go on a good winning streak - it helps me to break out of any funk and start enjoying my work again. Bonuses, too, do this for me... Suddenly you have more cash in the bank and, as well as saving an investing a chunk, you can buy yourself a new toy, treat your loved ones, or just simply live a little more luxuriously.
As silly as it sounds, getting yourself a little something-something can be a good mood lifter, I find. A new pair of shoes, a new cologne, maybe even a new watch if you're feeling splurgy and can afford it. Hell, get yourself a car if you have the money and it's something you've been eyeing for a while.
Other than material goods and a little more dynamism at work, you can also try and make more time for yourself. This can be the gym or a holiday, but can also be trying out a new restaurant you've wanted to go to, taking language lessons if you're that way inclined... Whatever. It will give yourself something to look forward to / focus on outside of your working hours, albeit admittedly at the expense of pure "downtime."
Ask yourself this, though. If you're struggling with this now, you see no light at the end of the tunnel, and dread the prospect of doing what you're doing for the next 10-20yrs, think about doing something else. The money may be less to begin with - indeed, you may never earn as much again - but question whether doing a job that slowly erodes your enjoyment in life is truly worthwhile. If the prospect of bowing out completely unnerves you, take a half-step in that direction: do a master's degree, do an MBA, and take sometime away from the office. It will help give you some perspective and make the decision making easier.
Try deleting your social media for one month. I would always try to stay off mine or block the apps, but it would last a week tops and was way too easy to undo the "block" just to "check something quick on Instagram". I never wanted to delete it completely because I felt like I'd miss out. My solution was to just say "ok, I'm going to delete it for 1 month completely. What will I really miss in one month?". That month turned into me never getting back on Instagram and has been better for mental health and I also find myself getting my ass out of bed earlier in the morning or finding things to do at night instead of opening the phone.
The other things you mentioned are just par for the course of being young in a finance career. It gets better later on, especially if you leave banking and there are tons of career options now days that give you more freedom of time and are more enjoyable.
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