Call me Mr. Super Banker!
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I understand the market and I know how to leverage money. I am worth a grand total of $0 after graduating college. I KNOW how to make money. After B-school I am worth -100k. I have plenty of excuses about why it would not be possible to develop a net worth at an expensive college. I'm more prone to give these excuses if I live off my parents welfare.
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I know how to make money. Daddy had to pay my way through college and because he's wealthy I know to financially independent.
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I am extremely bright. I scored a 1500 on the SAT test after 12 years of private school and 2 years of practice. That's like an 1200 for poor public school kids, which is pretty good.
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I can spot business and make money. That's how I was able to earn $10 an hour while in college at a local coffee shop that I blew on Friday night.
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I understand cash flow issues well. That's why I can't seem to create a budget and wear $500 suits even though it's obvious that there's no money to my name.
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I talk about salary, but due to poor spending habits and an inability to mitigate taxes most of my 100k salary is wasted. "But trust my advice with your money, however!"
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I am totally prepared to work hard. I spent 40 hours per week on classes and homework at college and 5 hours at a job. A total of 45 hours. I had to take out massive student loans because I couldn't manage to work 20-30 hours while in school. Therefore because I couldn't work 70 hours, I am ready to work 100. Instead of saving money I saved energy. And besides, this shows how well I can overleverage myself.
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I'm not getting interviews, therefore I'll probably be among the 2% who make it to the MD level because they don't know how good I am.
Seriously, you think MD's aren't able to spot people without depth.
And the point of this douchebaggery is?
2nd post and you bring this?
My dad is a plumber, and my mom works for non profits to get money to public schools. I went to public school my whole life. So whats your excuse for me doing better than you life?
I have finally been inspired to offer my first comment on this site to let "Hopkins" know that I think he's an idiot... What poorly written drivel! If you are going to try and be clever, please spend some time editing your post for readability! Blah.
I just wasted 2 minutes reading this shit. Fuck. By the way, I suspect English isn't this fellow's native language. Sounds kind of funky.
Kinda funny. But still nowhere near as good as the stuff off LSO, and M&I. Also read them before trying to write a humorous take on IB & B-schools. Last but by no means least, try working in IB, or attending a B-school, and you'll see just how wrong your take on IB & B-school is.
Just my 2c.
duh da da duh duh da da duh duh da da duh i work at burger king making flame broiled whoppers would you like an apple pie with that would you like an apple pie with that
We're about to enter a Great Depression. Don't you want a president who's already dressed for it?
What a fuckin tool. Is this supposed to be funny? Besides being poorly written, its not even congruent.... you blew your coffee shop job in a week but still work? Your parents paid your way to school but you accumulated mountains of student loan debt?
I am now 3 minutes closer to my last breath.
It is written in the persona of an idiot!, and unfortunately, many young investment bankers fit these stereotypes. Rather than hurling insults against a persona (who doesn't know how to write, manage money, develop net worth, etc...), develop a wry sense of humor like Mark_Halberstram who wrote: "Besides being poorly written, its not even congruent"--Mark gets it. I love it. :)
No, I was right the first time, you're a fucking tool.
No one mistakenly thinks you were serious. Everyone knows you were trying to be funny, and everyone knows you failed miserably. So do what others on this forum have done before, and stop posting on this thread so sinks to the bottom of the list.
You need to learn to write carefully and spare us of your hyperbolic emotional fulminations.
Let's break this down.
You state that this persona cannot write while misunderstanding the difference between it's and its et al.
You state that I am a fucking tool, while acting like one. How are you using "fucking"--am I doing someone in your family? Please be clear.
You claim that everyone knows that I was trying to be funny. Not all the responses betray an explicit awareness that I was trying to be funny. (Ironic or wry would be a better word because I wasn't trying to be funny per se.)
Everyone knows that I failed. I got one "kinda funny" which disproves your claim.
You tell me to stop posting in your post.
I failed miserably. Well I seemed to strike a chord with you! I count that as success. You have not been able to counter my jabs by proving me wrong. It sounds like you are a Super Banker. You simply resort to ad hominem attacks sans substantive proof.
Here's a tip for playing with people: act like an idiot and wait for some narcissist to accost you. Then put them on the cucking stool and turn their accusations against them. At least I'm laughing and that's good enough for me. :)
Please enlighten me on why you aren't a Super Banker like me. I enjoy knowing that I'm not the only Super Banker. We are friends.
Yours, Mr. Douche Super Banker Extroardinaire
You deposit my checks.
Yeah, I knew you were trying to be funny.
This might be the first time I ever give somebody an E for effort.
I concede, so spare me the onslaught of SAT words.
And yes, you are indeed fucking someone in my family. My dog. He's very well endowed, and from the other room I can't tell if its you thats yelping or him.
MrDouche got puhh-owned.
1) Not funny
2) Even if it was, personas cease to be funny when the poster breaks persona to point out that he is, in fact, trying to effect a persona.
Least funny post ever.
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