Let's Talk About Anxiety

I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not qualified to help you with your anxiety, nor will I try to. I'm a banker, not a therapist.

What I really want to address is the insane amount of threads being posted about anxiety in the workplace.

Look, I know that you guys all worked your ass off to sit in the seat you're in, but trust me when I say this, no job is worth physically and mentally crippling yourself for. This is a job, not an identity. No matter how hard you worked for it, it's not worth forcing yourself through mental anguish for 10-16+ hours a day for the sake of making six figures. The real money comes down the line, but if crushing spreadsheets and aligning PowerPoints makes you anxious, then how do you think the pressure of needing to originate deals in order to keep your job will feel?

I get that it's scary to try something else, as I know that a lot of you have thought of nothing but IB since freshman year (sometimes even before that), but there is a lot more out there than being an excel monkey (I say this as an excel monkey). 

If this job is really that stressful, making you that worried, that anxious, please do yourself a favor and try something else. If not that, at least take a break for a while to get some perspective.

I'm not trying to sound preachy or whatever, but honestly, it's crazy to me that for some on this website everything hinges on their job. Try something new, travel, hang out with friends, work a shitty mindless job and spend your free time gaining a little bit of perspective. Because I can guarantee that if you don't, you will eventually burnout and leave the industry before the work you do actually matters, and the real money starts rolling in.

At some point in everyone's life, their health becomes their primary concern. Don't let that be when you're relegated to a hospital bed with some sort of stress induced heart condition or when you're being faced with a life of chronic anxiety from forcing yourself to stay in a job/field that doesn't fit with who you are.  

 

In their defense, if they dont grind it out they get left behind. The gap between have and have nots is exponentially growing. If youre not in youre out and in a very  bad way.

this isnt absolute by any means, but certainly today is a day an age where making it versus not has brutal consequences.

best friend of mine has done many things right (to avoid saying everything) and now is really struggling financially well into his 20s. Add the social pressures to be socially successful you have a recipe for feeling trapped. No prospects for a significant other cuz he basically cant afford it. No decent jobs in his hometown. So what other options but grind it out?

i have no proposed solutions but you can definitely see how this is a problem if you look close enough. 

 
Most Helpful

I had a banker tell me that "the only reason he sleeps at night is through the aid of alcohol" while in a one on one coffee chat.

A banker couple (one of which were an MD and both only spoke English) had a child. Neither wanted to scarify their career so they got a nanny (who was bilingual). The child's first words where in Spanish. The parents were horrified at how badly they mismanaged the development of the own kid. 

After failing to kill myself, my first call wasn't to my family - but to a guy I work with to let him know I would be "leaving for a while and to cancel my meetings" as I was in the hospital.

It is not worth it. We are not our jobs. Don't lose the war just to win one battle. 

 

You tried to kill yourself as an intern??? Have you not updated your position or were you in a really, really bad place (both literally and figuratively!). I'm trying to figure out how this happens at the intern level, I'm genuinely curious. 

 

Intern then, intern now. It was during school of spring of last year. 

I was getting 4 hours of broken sleep each night for 4 months. People like to over exaggerate their hours, but truly working 120 hour weeks - where you can't get haircuts because of how little time you have - week after week takes it's toll. I was also living in a dorm with 5 other guys who would party each Friday, Saturday, and Sunday until 4 AM with a lot of flashing lights and subwoofers. 

Long story short, months of sleep deprivation and high stress led to me not being able to think straight, intense panic attacks, my hair falling out, cutting, and ended with an attempt. 

 

I'm going to put a thought out there for you to think about because I think this topic is not just important now but in your future careers. 

I am well into my 40s and work at BB at the management level. I'm not going to say I love every day - no one does - but it's a great job and I love what I do. I make well into the 6 figures relatively stress free. 

One of the reasons I can do this is because I keep my expenses low outside of work. Yes, I am well compensated but you wouldn't know it by looking at my house, I don't have a wife, I don't have kids (I know that's not for everyone). I have a nice watch and I like taking golfing vacations to de-stress, but those are my biggest expenses and I choose when they happen (i.e. its not a recurring expense, I don't have to spend the money). I live cheap enough where unemployment checks can cover my monthly nut. Life would be a lot less fun, but I wouldn't be out on the street even with those small unemployment checks.

Mark my words, a lot of the anxiety that you are feeling comes from all the expenses you have to meet on a monthly basis. All of us know an MD that literally can't quit because they need the money. A lot of the people around you are the same way - they build a life for themselves that becomes a treadmill they can't stop. Because, really let's be honest here, if the job was that bad then you'd quit just out of self preservation instinct. But as DeNiro said in Ronin, "Why am I here? My friend, I need the money". 

Make your money, keep your lifestyle as low as possible and you would be surprised how much your anxiety levels can be helped by not feeling like you have to be at a job. DO NOT put yourself on a treadmill of lifestyle expenses that box you into somewhere you don't want to be. 

 
GoingToBeAnMDI don't have a wife, I don't have kids

>Be me

>Based IB bro in his 40s starts spitting bars

>FeelingThatShitBro.jpg

>Find out he doesn't have sex

>Fucking disgusted

 

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