Linkedin AI Slop Posts Need to Stop

It’s Tuesday evening, you fire off a deck to your MD and you decide to catch a bit of a break. You pull out your handy dandy phone, and you open on insta but it’s full of thirst traps and brain rot, you don’t have energy to engage the thirst traps, and you just heard enough buzz words and corporate speak to tolerate anymore brain rot. You say to yourself you know what let me feed my mind a little bit so you switch to LinkedIn.

Over the past little while you’ve been very interested in the MM so you started following and connecting with a whole bunch of young MDs at LMM and MM buy-side and sell-side shops. You see that a young MD at a LMM sell-side shop based out of Washington that you recently connected with made an informative post about why entrepreneurs should always hire an advisor. You tell yourself “that makes sense, i understand why UMM firms would do so, but what about the LMM” so you start reading it.

You read the first sentence, and it feels hollow, devoid of all humanity, all experience, and all creativity. It feels like it was written by a feudal who was trying to appease their feudal master. You tell yourself “writing content for the masses is not everyone’s strong point”. Nonetheless, You continue reading.

The second sentence you read almost feels just as familiar, like you’ve read this writer’s work before. By the third sentence, it starts sounding like your overly positive and agreeable
therapist who agrees with everything you say, and gas lights you into thinking everyone is the problem and not you, however, you think to yourself OMG I don’t have a therapist, I have ChatGPT.

You decide let me see all this dude’s posts, they all follow the same writing you I see another young MD at a LMM sell-side shop comment on one of his posts, you get curious and click on their profile, you read their posts and it’s the exact same thing. You have ADHD, so you hyper focus on wether or not these are isolated incidents, you go down the rabbit hole, and by the end of it, all of them sound the same, they sound exactly like the seagulls from Finding Nemo yelling “mine. Mins. Mine”

You decide to say fuck this, and you close LinkedIn and switch to hinge where you have 1 match that you’ve been texting for the past month and keeps on pushing dates.

You get depressed, and decide a cookie is the answer, you order a 6 pack of large cookies from crumbl (the only 6 pack you’ve had since getting into the industry) when it arrives you grab them and inhale them like a drug addict getting his fix.

Fast forward 1 year, you’ve gained 40 pounds from this insta, LinkedIn, hinge, crumbl vicious cycle. All because LMM YOUNG MDS ARE POSTING SLOPS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL
THATS HOLY STOP IT, TAKE A CLASS ON WRITING AND WRITE BETTER