Management Presentations are Paradise

Management Presentations are Paradise

It’s Tuesday morning and you’ve barely slept for the past 5 days. You open your email and read: “Team, great work on getting this deck arranged over the holiday weekend. I know 93 pages seemed excessive for a 20 minute introductory discussion with a company that has $1.8M of pro forma, adjusted, run-rate EBITDA, but I know the client appreciated our thoughts. Unfortunately, it sounds like they have decided to hire Jefferies instead of us. Had something to do with how they handle confidential info. Thx, -MD”

But just as you think you can rest, your VP walks over with printed, handwritten comments that have been scanned twice and are completely illegible. He wants you to start drafting a management presentation. You’ve never made it to the this stage of a process before so you’re confused as to why we need to make changes to the CIP when we spent weeks scrutinizing it and could just trim it down to the best pages. The VP assures you “MPs are a whole different beast compared to CIPs” as you glance over at the comments, which include changing the phrase “growth channel” to “growth pathway” on page 4.

After spending a few hours attempting to decode your VPs chicken scratch like you’re Graham Hancock discovering an ancient civilization, you’re finally ready to print out a draft for the VP (he enjoys murdering trees). Unfortunately, the new MBA associate beat you to the printers. “What’s this?” He asks you, with his knock-off Mark Moran loafers on that don’t match his pants. “It’s a draft MP for Project [insert geographic reference]” you say back, hoping he hands it to you and returns to his mother’s womb. “Let me take take a quick spin through this and circle back with any small edits” he says.

After about 3 hours pass, your VP gives you a call (both of you are still in the office) and asks for status on the deck, “was hoping to get this to MD by 7, pls advise on timing” he says. To ensure that your status isn’t reduced to bottom bucket, you head over to the MBA associates desk and ask if he has a turn of the deck ready. Somewhat taken aback, he pretends that he looked through it and says that he has “given it full sign off” and can bring it to the VP himself.

After going through this process an additional 3-4 times, the deck is finally ready for the client to review. Luckily, they have no suggested changes but ask “why didn’t we just use the same pages from the CIP?”

Fast forward to the actual management presentations. You message the Fall intern to take notes, letting him know it’s a “great learning opportunity” and “good exposure to seasoned industry veterans.” As the call kicks off, the mission-driven, socially-conscious growth equity fund (pronouns included on zoom names, all are he/him) begin asking important valuation questions such as “how diverse is your workforce?” and “How have you cultivated a positive climate for people of color?” The CEO (64 yrs old, grew up in Lubbock, TX) responds with “I don’t believe we’re allowed to say colored people anymore” but luckily your baller MD cuts off the CEO before it gets any worse, re-emphasizing footnote 11 on page 6.

As the Q&A goes on, you rest on the fact that none of it is within your control. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Management presentations are paradise.