Management Presentations are Paradise
Management Presentations are Paradise
It’s Tuesday morning and you’ve barely slept for the past 5 days. You open your email and read: “Team, great work on getting this deck arranged over the holiday weekend. I know 93 pages seemed excessive for a 20 minute introductory discussion with a company that has $1.8M of pro forma, adjusted, run-rate EBITDA, but I know the client appreciated our thoughts. Unfortunately, it sounds like they have decided to hire Jefferies instead of us. Had something to do with how they handle confidential info. Thx, -MD”
But just as you think you can rest, your VP walks over with printed, handwritten comments that have been scanned twice and are completely illegible. He wants you to start drafting a management presentation. You’ve never made it to the this stage of a process before so you’re confused as to why we need to make changes to the CIP when we spent weeks scrutinizing it and could just trim it down to the best pages. The VP assures you “MPs are a whole different beast compared to CIPs” as you glance over at the comments, which include changing the phrase “growth channel” to “growth pathway” on page 4.
After spending a few hours attempting to decode your VPs chicken scratch like you’re Graham Hancock discovering an ancient civilization, you’re finally ready to print out a draft for the VP (he enjoys murdering trees). Unfortunately, the new MBA associate beat you to the printers. “What’s this?” He asks you, with his knock-off Mark Moran loafers on that don’t match his pants. “It’s a draft MP for Project [insert geographic reference]” you say back, hoping he hands it to you and returns to his mother’s womb. “Let me take take a quick spin through this and circle back with any small edits” he says.
After about 3 hours pass, your VP gives you a call (both of you are still in the office) and asks for status on the deck, “was hoping to get this to MD by 7, pls advise on timing” he says. To ensure that your status isn’t reduced to bottom bucket, you head over to the MBA associates desk and ask if he has a turn of the deck ready. Somewhat taken aback, he pretends that he looked through it and says that he has “given it full sign off” and can bring it to the VP himself.
After going through this process an additional 3-4 times, the deck is finally ready for the client to review. Luckily, they have no suggested changes but ask “why didn’t we just use the same pages from the CIP?”
Fast forward to the actual management presentations. You message the Fall intern to take notes, letting him know it’s a “great learning opportunity” and “good exposure to seasoned industry veterans.” As the call kicks off, the mission-driven, socially-conscious growth equity fund (pronouns included on zoom names, all are he/him) begin asking important valuation questions such as “how diverse is your workforce?” and “How have you cultivated a positive climate for people of color?” The CEO (64 yrs old, grew up in Lubbock, TX) responds with “I don’t believe we’re allowed to say colored people anymore” but luckily your baller MD cuts off the CEO before it gets any worse, re-emphasizing footnote 11 on page 6.
As the Q&A goes on, you rest on the fact that none of it is within your control. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. Management presentations are paradise.
there needs to be a forum for these
Gold
Unreal comedy
Pure gold. Love the meta callbacks to data rooms and VP handwriting.
This one is boring
Didn't ms but you're telling me you didn't laugh at the Mark Moran callout or important valuation q's?
The second 10/10 "Is/ Are Paradise" post this week, nicely done
VPs enjoy murdering trees HIT HARD. Resurgence of Paradise memes is Paradise
Every time I go to SB a post and realize I now have -400 WSO Credits post the Great Restructuring it feels bad
+1 SB for wealth distribution
pls fx has been executed.
Surprisingly totally accurate
.
My favorite part about the MP is when my MD spends weeks scrutinizing minutia only to not have an answer to the first question the investor asks upon seeing it. The reason this is so dope is because then you, the Associate/Analyst, get to be the whipping boy for your MDs fuck up, and get the pleasure of putting together another 10-20 page supplemental deck to explain whatever your MD was supposed to be able to, but failed to explain.
I feel like this story is familiar. Were you recently complaining about this exact thing on r/financialcareers or something? Something about not knowing historical revenue growth?
I was complaining about the same thing on WSO. Did someone jack the comment and post it elsewhere? That's wild.
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