18 Comments
 

Anonymous Monkey:

I am 27. A2A but am about 2 years back due to some lateraling / layoffs.


Fair. I’m 25 in NYC, just made associate. Don’t want to do PE but would like to leave banking

 
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If you are in IB, you don’t need a paternity leave rather a paternity test. 

 

Take 2 weeks off fully and use 18 weeks of WFH flexibility (ideally coming in most days but leaving the office at ~5pm). 

Reality is that you will provide very limited support to a newborn that is asleep most of the time, plus this is IB so you'll be expected to work during paternity leave anyway. You'll become increasingly involved in the parenting from ~3 months onwards.

I've navigated this successfully three times with no impact on career or renumeration and still manage to prioritize time with my kids. Believe me that taking more than 2 weeks off consecutively sends the wrong signal in banking, irrespective of what some people think is fair / reasonable / right in this world. This is paternity leave we're talking about - a very different set of expectations for maternity leave. 

 
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My personal view is: be as totally involved as you can be.   I took full advantage my company's parental leave and also tacked on most of my vacation time to the end of it.  Especially if your wife gets hit with postpartum depression or other complications, or your child has any extra medical needs, you really want to be on deck to handle it without trying to juggle your job.  Did my career suffer a setback?  IDGAF, I'm going through this life once and money is not my god, the job exists to support my life and not the other way around.  Besides, I can always hit the reset button on my reputation and lateral out if someone wants to be cunty about the fact they missed their own child's birth and early months and think I too want to be a stunted fucking cretin.  It is absolutely exhausting and sometimes scary to be tasked with keeping a small human being alive, but so is running a marathon or climbing a mountain - it's totally fucking worth it 11/10 would do it again.

Men who take a back seat or minor role in their family life have no idea what they're missing out on: it's not a flex, it's a serious mistake.

Get busy living
 

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Get busy living

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