Please help - burnt out before internship start
Hi everyone. Please help me out here.
I'm feeling so incredibly burnt out from schoolwork and dealing with bereavement in my family. I have only a few days before my internship starts. I can't get out of bed till late afternoon and I lack the motivation to accomplish anything. Therapy isn't helping and i don't want to use medication. is there anything i can do? I'm really scared about how I'm going to wake up at 7 am everyday and be the fake chirpy version of myself that the team I'm joining loved. that's not me, it takes so much effort to be that person.
i feel like I'm going to have to leave the internship halfway. just a weird gut feeling that I'm not going to make it.
is a u-turn even possible from here?
I understand this feeling more than you know. At the end of the day you have to reflect and realize you are in a spot ppl would die to be in. We’re not in the real world yet, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
My advice. Fake it and put everything you have into these next 10 weeks. You’ll get some energy from those around you and also the fact that you’re starting something exciting ( that you worked extremely hard for). You need to pull yourself together for 10 weeks.
Make it to the school year and then relax. Take 3 classes, spend as mich time with friends as possible, workout ( you should be doing this now too).
You’ve worked too hard to give up now. Future you would be pissed if you take the easy way out. It will be hard, but you can do it. PUSH and then fuck off for your senior year. You earned it
actually burst into tears reading this. thank you
Hang in there, you got this homie!
Do yourselves a favor and take a blood test from time to time, especially checking Vitamin D levels… had a serious deficiency several times already, comes with some of the above-mentioned symptoms or may magnify them…
Vitamin D deficiency is an easy fix, but needs to be tracked in this industry, unfortunately.
i actually just got one two weeks ago, I'm severely deficient in vit D (my level is 10 when it should be 70-100). working on it every day now. does it have that much of an impact on every day life? i didn't know this but it certainly explains so much
100%, only thing I would say differently is, break it into small chunks instead of one long 10 week stretch. 10 weeks isn't really that long, but when you're stressed out and overwhelmed in the moment, it can seem like an eternity. You got a 10-week marathon, but you have to break it down into smaller steps...day 1: make it to lunch, then make it to the next meeting/dinner, etc. Try to focus on what's right in front of you in any given moment, tomorrow/next week/10-weeks from now/etc. will come, and you'll deal with it and whatever it brings when it does, but until then, just focus on that next "step." The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. You got this, there's going to be lows for sure, but there's also going to be a lot of great highs, and you're going to learn a ton. You worked hard to get to this point, and you will figure out a way to get through it if you will allow yourself to.
Right now your only goal is to show up to the right place, at the right time, wearing the right uniform, with a notebook and pen (or whatever they told you to bring). Too easy.
Will give you the advice you need, regardless of the ensuing backlash.
Man up.
^ What he REALLY needs to hear
im a girl but i understand what you're saying. thank you, i really am trying my best
PUSH brother PUSH. It’s 10 weeks, then you have months of doing nothing / fuck hookers
Not sure if this will help but had similar issues for my internship last summer
Once I started the internship, I completely ”forgot” about everything non-internship related. My brain kinda shut it down and it was a therapy itself. Could have been because the workload in the team was pretty bad for all juniors, but it was definitely helpful in hindsight
I had a similar experience after completing a master's thesis I had no real interest in. The months of forcing myself to work on it while also handling all the screening and VISA stuff left me utterly drained. However, once I started my internship in a fresh environment working on projects I found fascinating with new people, my energy luckily returned.
It's crucial to block out any distractions from family and friends during this period and focus on reaching the finish line, let them know in advance to preserve the relationships, but your sole focus is securing your foreseeable future by receiving that offer. Endure the challenge for the next 10 weeks, as short-term discomfort is far preferable to long-term regret.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret"
gonna second this, I was in a pretty poor spot mentally before my internship; the second I hit the desk, I forgot about all my other concerns because I was so focused on the work at hand. It honestly worked like free therapy for me, helped me put my other problems in perspective. I can honestly say those ten weeks were some of the best I've been mental health-wise. Good luck!
same with me
I was in a similar situation. My mum died during the final weeks of me writing my bachelor’s thesis. Her funeral then was actually in the first week of my internship.
It was not an insanely hard internship so it does not fully relate to your situation but I agree with everyone else that it is likely going to be a good distraction.
I also had to obviously tell them what happened because I needed the day off. Maybe that is also an option for you, just tell them they do not need to handle you with kid gloves and make sure you perform well. I don’t know about the culture at your internship but I can hardly imagine anyone holding that against you.
Personally, I would advise against ‘neglecting’ your family during that time as it gave me a lot of strength and reassurance/comfort but that depends on your circumstances.
I cried every morning while driving to that internship but I managed to pull through and so will you.
You can do this, you can absolutely do this!
Aside from the advice other people said, I would communicate to your manager/superior you report to that you are dealing with some sort of bereavement. While it's good to not be completely closed off and dead, I don't think anyone's really going to mind if you're not super peppy all the time, especially with a reason like this. So again, while seconding the other advice to put your all into this, I'd personally encourage you to have an honest chat with whomever you report to, and not feel pressure to put on as extreme of a mask.
Have been in a similar situation couple months ago. What I can tell you is that the internship is easier than you think. When you’re around people that are up at 7am everyday, in an office environment, it is honestly easier to follow the herd than to stay in bed. It becomes natural.
The first few days can be harder than the others. Try to focus on one thing at a time. When you wake up, just tell yourself that you are going to get to work. Don’t think about what comes after that. Once you are at work, a lot should hopefully flow much more naturally.
Understand that you’re about to blow the biggest opportunity that you’ve ever been given: use the fear surrounding that statement to get through it and eventually thrive in it.
You’ll be a different person at the end of your internship and that is a good thing. Hard experiences create awesome stories in the future. No one ever talks about “that one time I did boring thing,” instead they talk about their challenges and how they overcame them. Being a person who has tried and failed is much better than being in the group of people who were too fucking soft to push themselves to succeed for fear of failure.
I think you want to examine your reasons for not wanting medication, so you can decide whether it might be worth bending that rule for a short period of time. Internships are even shorter than they seem, in the sense that it's only a few weeks into the internship when your performance starts to get noticed and you either feel up or down at that point.
I've always had long-term concerns about medications myself, but risk-reward looks very different when it's only a summer or less.
im someone who suffers from long term depression and i fear i would become addicted to the medication. usually the depression is manageable but now with the death in my family it is worse, i cant start using medication now
You know yourself better than anyone else. But when it comes to managing the addictive potential of drugs, and weighing that risk against the benefits (especially over unusual periods like just a few weeks), I think you should talk to your doctor. He or she will know more than you about that specifically.
Bro depression meds take 6 months to work and start off by making symptoms worse. Not advisable
Totally get this feeling, like general malaise or ennui. The feeling of helplessness or misdirection.
You're in that weird stage of the year between the end of school and the beginning of IB, and not having daily things to do / tasks to complete can actually be counterintuitively depressing and energy-draining. When I was like this I drank way too much and sat around.
A few things I would do to try and pass the time productively, and make myself feel better:
1.) Take regular walks outside of your domicile -- see new things. Nothing is as depressing as being within the same four walls all day.
2.) Read something interesting/profound/not finance related. Maybe some fiction, or poetry (Walden or Leaves of Grass maybe?)
3.) Take care of your appearance. Put a dress shirt on and slacks even if you're not working. You will have an elevated self-image.
4.) Treat yourself to a nice dinner before you start. You've earned it, and there will be fewer opportunities for it over the next ~10 weeks
5.) Remember why you started. The grind was not for nothing.
Hope this helps -- and put your all into the job. Best of luck.
Force yourself to go to the gym
Went through something very similar. Started my internship last week and was so worried I had burned myself out and I was screwed. But so far its going well and hasn't been too much of an issue. Like the other poster says once you start you just don't have time to think about anything else and because you're in office constantly the environment motivates you. Good luckbro
Call it quits bro, most summer assoc ive worked with are underwhelming. If they are burnt out like this, theyre probably gonna be crapper
im summer intern (undergrad) ignore title
I had a similar issue last year when one of my closest friends died by suicide two weeks before my internship. I don’t think my mental state was necessarily healthy during the summer, but the internship kept me busy and it really helped to spend time joking around with my intern class and making new friends. I did have a breakdown and drunk cried about it to my roommate but otherwise the summer went well. I think you will be okay. But of course, mental health always comes before a job, so if you are really on the edge of a breakdown you should let someone know and if they are at all human they should understand
im so sorry about your best friend, i hope you are better now. i had my first day today and i dont think im going to make it through. i feel really lost and i think it's over, i don't enjoy anything and i wont ever amount to anything. maybe the real world is just not for me
Dude trust me a lot of people feel like this (I do) - and it stinks. It shows on your face and in your mood too, especially when around family and friends. Life is tough, but need to push through the hard parts to get stronger and stop and enjoy the good stuff when you can.
Completely unethical advice and will probably get MS'd heavily for this, but get a stimulant prescription.
I have been on Vyvanse for 2+ years now and have enjoyed it thoroughly as someone with a diagnosed anxiety disorder and mild depression. I just make sure to cycle off on weekends as much as possible and I have maintained my 40 mg dose for years now. I would explain to your doctor that you are going to be working long hours and need something to get through your internship, and that stimulants will definitely help.
Don't start taking more than your prescribed dose, but use them as a crutch to get through your internship.
Again, somebody is definitely going to respond "This is bad advice, and you will get addicted" but this is just my advice. Best of luck.
Dude I'm a year in to the job now, I don't always feel like doing it, but I still get up out of bed, work all day, try to work out, eat healthy, socialize on the weekends, read if I can, and repeat. I look back over the last 12 months and I've had crises in my head many times but just trusting the process has worked and I've made good progress so far as a 23 year old. School is awesome, just push through the summer so you can feel about this summer and have a great year ahead. Life is hard man. My dad is in his mid/late 50's and a corporate executive making a lot and he often has the same feelings. It doesn't get any easier, you just need to get stronger/better at handling shit.
condolences for all thats going on in your life. no one could really blame you for deciding any direction but there would certainly be merit to pushing through the pain and seizing the opportunity. im sure people around you, here with you or otherwise, would like to see you triumph as hard as it may be right now.
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! pain = growth!
best of luck.
Definitely physical and mental. But hey, might as well make the most of it, cause people would actually kill to be there. Here ya go:
https://open.spotify.com/track/0H6rpW1xnJ8qRQwSrIADPE?si=T5qI1hcoT2ymfh…
No concrete advice since im probably younger than you and in a much less strenuous internship this year, but just want to say you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed by life/work coming so quickly. Whatever path you choose, you still have all the skills, competencies, and work ethic that got you into I-Banking, and I'm positive there are millions of people to be found living happier lives than many who currently work in the industry. All that to say; whatever path you take is valid, and I just hope you'll make a decision that brings you a joyful smile over the next 10-15 years.
Similar situation a few years back. Head up high, you got this. It will pan out great.
hi. op here. i doubt anybody will read this but i wanted to thank everyone on this thread for the comments. i survived the internship. don't know yet about the return but don't really care, just happy that i survived. i read this thread over and over again over the last 10 weeks. thank you.
Don’t doubt it, cause I read it.
Congrats on pushing through! Hope you feel better now.
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