Ranking the Top Egg Preparation Methods by Prestige

Bulge Bracket: 

Over Easy: A crispy, cooked outer layer of egg white with a gluttonous, elite gooey yolk. It simply doesn't get any better than this folks. Break that yolk apart on a sandwich, potatoes, toast or bacon to release the gooey, caloric prestige all over your meal - ensuring that every subsequent bite of potatoes or meat you take is covered in a thin, warm layer of prestige.

Sunny Side Up ("SSU"): Similar to the very prestigious Over Easy egg, but entails greater execution risk. By only cooking the egg on one side, yet still pulling off a thoroughly cooked egg white with runny yolk, one is demonstrating an elite level mastery of chefhood. Still tons of gooey, prestigious egg yolk to pour over the rest of your meal, as with the Over Easy egg. 

Upper Middle Market:

Poached: Ultimately you're arriving at a similar destination, yolk wise, as the SSU or Over Easy eggs. However, by boiling the egg first you're missing out on that crispy, delicate outer egg white that adds such a vital component of the two aforementioned preparation methods. Moreso, boiling the egg has the tendency to completely suck the flavor out of the egg white. Yolk-wise, as long as you don't over cook it, you're still looking at an egg that is fairly prestigious, but by boiling the egg white you're self-handicapping just a bit. 

Hard Boiled: This is a controversial one. While it is true that poor people often eat their eggs this way, it is not an indictment upon the moderately prestigious, who prefer their eggs this way. Presentation is key with this method, as hard boiled eggs have both the opportunity to shift down market and become bottom-tier, or the ability to shift up into the Bulge Brackets. Bulge Bracket level preparation entails a perfectly cooked egg, that cracks apart with ease. The yolk should still be fairly soft but not runny & the egg white moist but firm. Most importantly: it must be served in a gold or glass egg holder chalice. If mashed apart and served as egg salad with mayonnaise, I think it's hard to consider this anything above Lower Middle Market at best. 

Lower Middle Market: 

Oil Fried: It has potential, but frankly it just doesn't have the fire power that the UMM and BB preparation methods all share. If you're truly cooking a prestigious batch of eggs, you should not need to fry it in oil to add flavor. The warm, caloric yolk is savory enough as is, without the addition of olive oil grease. Moreover, the combination of fried eggs with often oily potatoes/bacon/sausage on the side has potential to cause acne and turn the predominant flavor profile of your meal into grease & oil. Not very prestigious. 

Scrambled: Honestly, grow tf up. I get that it's quick and easy, but you aren't 12 anymore guys. You should not be beating your eggs to death in a bowl before pouring them into a pan and scrambling. This method of preparation is by far the easiest for a novice to keep up with, but a master chef would never be caught dead scrambling an egg. Why would you if you possess the unique ability to reliably prepare quality Over Easy and/or Sunny Side Up eggs?  

No-Name Boutique: 

The Omelet: Truly for dickheads, The Omelet is by far the least prestigious method of preparation for eggs. It misses the point entirely as it is nearly the opposite of an Over-Easy or SSU prepared egg. The whole purpose is to keep the yolk runny, moist and savory so you can prestigiously poor that elite goodness all over the rest of your (presumably elite) breakfast. You are not trying to fry the shit out of your entire egg and wrap it around a bunch of mushrooms, spinach & ham like some disgusting rubber condom that protects the contents within from AIDS. 

Comments (54)

  • Associate 2 in IB-M&A
Sep 14, 2022 - 3:59pm

Thx Associate 1. This is helpful. Few comments below: 

  • Pls add Eggs Benedict beneath "Bulge Bracket" 
  • Move hard boiled to LMM
    • Basically a less prestigious poached egg
  • Let's run a follow-up analysis ranking hot sauces by prestige
    • I will not be looking at this follow-up analysis but please spend a lot of time on it so I can tell you it's "helpful" and never open it 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Sep 14, 2022 - 4:06pm

Eggs Benedict is just a poached egg on other stuff.. also scrambled is getting straight disrespected here. Obviously never had scrambled eggs cooked properly (honestly recommend going to watch ramsey's tutorial on it - game changer). Toss a little butter in there and maybe some sharp cheddar for some nice fluffy & gooey scramble.

Sep 14, 2022 - 8:23pm
TheFlyingKiwi, what's your opinion? Comment below:

was thinking the exact same thing. Markets are tough, eh?

otherwise, please add "Over Medium" to UMM for us employees who prefer less litquidity in our yolks. 

Go all the way

  • 1
  • Associate 1 in IB - ECM
Sep 15, 2022 - 10:49am

EB methods include raw egg yolk atop steak tartar. Not as ubiquitous as the BB egg preparation methods, but certainly top tier in class and quality. 

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Sep 15, 2022 - 12:47pm

forgot omurice

Sep 15, 2022 - 2:20pm
pouiz, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Ngl tho soft scrambled (french style, or whatever other names) are damn nice. Shit ton of butter tho.

soft scrambled >>>>>>> nasty hard-scrambled, chalky eggs.

Most Helpful
Sep 15, 2022 - 4:58pm
radio528, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Scrambled eggs get a lot of undeserved flack because a lot of places cook scrambled eggs as the "American" or hard scramble style (also known as diner eggs). Cook them hot and fast, puling the eggs from the outside as it sets, forming more solid curds and a thoroughly cooked through egg. This leaves the eggs harder, completely cooked, and though soft, but dry. The well done steak version of scrambled eggs.

For the French style or soft scramble style, eggs are cooked over a double boil (glass bowl on top of a bowl of boiling water), constantly whisking the entire duration and throwing in some butter at the end as it finishes. The result is much smaller curds in the eggs, making them a lot smoother, creamier, and richer texture. The rare steak version of scrambled eggs.

For English style, it is somewhere in between. Eggs are cooked over medium heat, stirring a good amount, and being taken on and off the heat for the duration of the cook, a little butter is added in at the end as well. This produces my favorite version of scrambled eggs, has medium sized curds, the eggs are still creamy and smooth like the French eggs, but also a bit softer and more solid bit like the American eggs. The medium rare version of scrambled eggs.

  • 13
  • Associate 1 in IB - ECM
Sep 15, 2022 - 5:04pm

So essentially you posit that "American Style" is the Goldman Sachs MM Banking division of scrambled eggs? A decidedly inferior alternative, for inferior people. Which should not take away from Goldman Sachs Classic, ie, French Style scrambled eggs. 

I will buy that. 

Sep 15, 2022 - 5:48pm
BigKahunaBanker🏄🍹🍔, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Also known as the "Gordon Ramsey" scrambled eggs. Delicious, but easy to fuck up.

...and the Truth shall set you free
Sep 18, 2022 - 1:57am
IcedCoffees, what's your opinion? Comment below:

This. Cook the scrambled eggs with rice. You will get a nice hard, dry texture, and pairs perfectly with the rice. Add chives/tomatos too as you wish. 

Sep 15, 2022 - 5:50pm
BigKahunaBanker🏄🍹🍔, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Just made myself some over-easy ones, slapped some mustard and Chipotle hot sauce on them, et voila! The combination of smoky sauce, spicy mustard, and the umami goodness of the eggs is just something else, goes hard, as the kids say.

...and the Truth shall set you free
Sep 15, 2022 - 5:52pm
BigKahunaBanker🏄🍹🍔, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Can't forget the Japanese "poor man's scrambled eggs" - freshly cooked dry white rice, put a raw egg in there, some scallops, flavour with soy sauce. The heat of the rice cooks the egg, btw. Delicious and easy snack when you have a rice maker at home.

...and the Truth shall set you free
Sep 15, 2022 - 5:54pm
BigKahunaBanker🏄🍹🍔, what's your opinion? Comment below:

And, of course, you can slonk 'em, just pour them down the hatch raw. Makes soibois seethe and raises your test by a metric fuck-ton.

...and the Truth shall set you free
  • 1
Sep 15, 2022 - 7:14pm
Angus Macgyver, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Knocking on oil-fried egg? Buddy, you really need to try out cooking some eggs in a shitload of oil in a wok on extra high heat. Crispy egg white, runny egg yolk, delicious even with just a bit of salt but if you want you can put some other sauce on it and it will soak that shit right up.

Sep 16, 2022 - 11:01am
btierpleb, what's your opinion? Comment below:

To anyone who thinks the markets are somehow fine, even the ECM associates gave up and decided to start comparing egg cooking techniques

  • Associate 1 in IB - ECM
Sep 16, 2022 - 11:07am

In fairness I've been bottom bucket long before capital markets slowed down. I got promoted solely on the basis of having a nice smile and being "good in front of clients". I am not sure what "good in front of clients" means because normally I just say one or two polite greetings at the beginning of meetings and then flash my nice smile. 

Sep 16, 2022 - 1:27pm
Mighty Burrito, what's your opinion? Comment below:

The French way, Omelette and scrambled isn't least prestigious…just poorly done in the US. Add

sour cream and don't overcook, which is hard to do it has a small time window, and you get something wonderful.

Sep 16, 2022 - 2:48pm
WallStreetOasis.com, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I see this discussion prompted you to finally stop being a lurker.   Can someone do these rankings for other controversial topics like Most Prestigious Way to Cook a Steak?  Most Prestigious Salad Rankings?  Most Prestigious QSR Rankings?    Most Prestigious Sauce Rankings?  Most Prestigious Cookware Rankings?  Most Prestigious Appliance Rankings?   ...I've learned that these debates are a great way to turn lurkers into members, so if you can help me out, I'll leave it up to members much funnier than me...

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Sep 17, 2022 - 2:13pm

Omelette ranked below scrambled? I would take a contrarian stance here and assert that the omelette is comparable to a higher tier MM in terms of prestige (William Blair), whereas the scrambled eggs are comparable to a Nomura or HSBC. Think of it this way: an omelette can be served at a higher-tier brunch. I can imagine prestigious individuals (employees of JPM, Moelis, and even some UMM PE) ordering this. Scrambled eggs, on the other hand, more commonly make an appearance in a non-target college town house kitchen

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Sep 17, 2022 - 2:28pm

Frying on the hood of your MD's car then sending an intern to go get it is the move during the summer months.

  • Associate 2 in PE - LBOs
Sep 18, 2022 - 8:40am

I always have omelettes for Sunday brunch. Is this why I can't get a girlfriend? Will girls start talking to me if I incorporate sunny-side up eggs into my diet?

  • Analyst 1 in CorpFin
Sep 19, 2022 - 6:21pm

How are we feeling about slonking raw eggs? I've tried Vince Gironda's shake before, it ain't half bad.

  • Associate 2 in PE - LBOs
Sep 20, 2022 - 9:27am

We should be ranking egg preparations by how it makes your farts smell. I go for maximum damage each day - 4 hard boiled eggs that I eat at my desk and then I produce massive amounts of sulfur out of my ass in the pit so my colleagues feel sick.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Sep 20, 2022 - 11:57pm

Is it weird that I think the same exact way? It's honestly kind of satisfying to see them suffer. I usually accomplish this with uncooked broccoli, won't derail the thread though since the topic is eggs though..

  • Analyst 2 in IB - Cov
Sep 21, 2022 - 1:34am

You do realize most people actually enjoy the scent of your flatus right? Don't think you're making anyone "suffer" as you might think. In fact, I used to lean in and take a deep breath when I noticed someone next to me let one out. I would even venture to say it's one of the things I am most excited about with regard to return to in-person

Sep 20, 2022 - 9:50am
pkkjkjkjkjkjk, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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