Breaking into INVESTMENT BANKING!!! IMPOSSIBLE OR NOT?? NEED2ESCAPE MATRIX BACK OFFICE JOB

Hi Everyone! :D

My name is James. I currently am a risk management analyst (8months on the gig). I went to a non target school with a 3.6ish gpa and have some decent internship/club work on the resume. My first two years I did not even know investment banking was a thing until it was too late!!! I had spent a majority of my time those years turning 2k into 4.7 million (perps). However despite the large success, I ended up losing it all and unironically ended up in risk management. 

The thing is I really do not like my job. The problem is the job doesn't match who I am. I NEED a fast paced environment, I used to stay awake till 6am leveraged to the tits up on a crypto trade, now I am sitting in a cubical staring at BULLSHIT. It's not even about the money. My comp is ok at 95k - I am just so bored and really starting to lose it. Working in back office is like settling for less, like instead of fighting for your crush you choose some fatty you know won't cheat on ya. This place is where dreams DIE and people lose HOPE. 

I don't want to lose HOPE. but apparently breaking into IB is very hard now because of all the cracked asian kids. I know I only have 2 options. Network like my LIFE depends on it or go to BUSINESS school. I have tried to NETWORK but its very hard! I sent around 300 EMAILS and got only 5 responses! My head is UP and my mental is STRONG.

I need to break into Investment banking URGENTLY. When I am not working I am trapped inside my head and get a lot of hectic nonsense thoughts. Working is literally my therapy. I would be happy in any part of High Finance. It is where I belong. I hope a professional in the field can see my post and give me some pointers or tips/tricks for breaking in before I move to a different country and join a wizard cult.

If you can help me I will help you in return by giving you 1) % of my comp when I start and 2) market alpha 

Hopefully my deal is intriguing. 

Goodbye everyone,

if I dont post again its because I didnt make it and all of you can laugh. 

Best,

James