I feel so insecure and inadequate
I have accepted an offer to work a firm that does interest rate and fx hedging and I feel like I am a complete failure for accepting that offer.
My one goal throughout the majority of college has been to get into IB, and i have failed that goal. I am also a part of a student investment fund on campus and all of the people in the fund have gone on to have great offers at BB and EBs and feel so inadequate compared to them.
I did not attend a social they had as I was afraid to speak with them due to my lesser job and I felt like I could not be in their presence as they were just so much better than me.
This has caused me to reflect on a lot of things in my life that I could have done different to hopefully have changed the outcome but this has only caused me to lose sleep and make me severely depressed.
All I want to is to be thankful for where I am and where I have come from but this seems to be so hard for me to do. I spend most of my days just thinking about how I can leverage my position to get into a better job or try to convince myself that I should be happy for what I have.
Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this and just live my life again. Thank you everyone.
Edit - Thank you everyone for your kind words they really help. These comments definitely helped me understand some things. I have been very close minded to this role and have not even considered the possibility of it actually being enriching and enjoyable and that will be something I focus on when I start.
Also, as one of the comments mentioned, I have also staked my entire self-worth around being a banker that I have honestly kind of lost myself. I have a few months before I begin so I will try to rediscover who I really am outside of finance. Thank you everyone!
What are you, some kind of covert narcissist?
You know you got a great job in finance which is front office, albeit on the Global Markets side, rather than investment banking... Did you come here to fish for comments?
Its hard to explain, I understand that it is a front office job but its at a boutique firm and the pay isn't what ppl in IB and better institutions make. This is contributing to the inadequacy and insecurity as well. I am just not satisfied or happy. I did not come here to fish for comments trust me I have been loathing over this for a long time. I just wanted to get it off my chest as I feel like keeping this bottled in is only going to hurt more.
hang out with ppl who think PE stands for physical education
You are a complete failure. You failed to create and stick to a simple plan.
however it is unacceptable to cry and feel sorry for yourself, because no one cares. Get back in the gym and get your life together
Thanks for the tip intern
Whole heartedly I hope you never feel the loving embrace of a woman.
To OP - you’re not a failure. Everyone has their own story. We might fail at times but life is a beautiful thing beyond ambition and desire, there’s love, kindness, and hope. If you only dwell on a few points in your life you will miss out of everything else.
Be kind, keep moving, and things will always work themselves out.
😂 holy fuck I'm stealing this insult
Oh please. You will learn about markets, risk and how to hedge. Do not underestimate how challenging and fascinating that can be. If you are good, these skills can be transferred elsewhere and will be the foundation of a great career. You will work on different things than IB analysts, but you are in the harder role, IMO. Going to IB from FICC derivatives is easier than the other direction. Many senior IB people comment that they struggle to understand markets/risk vs IB valuation. If you can learn both, you will be a rock star.
You got sucked into the vanity of one day being a big bad Investment Banker to the point where you tied your whole self worth to it, Start your job and be the best at it. I rather be a killer MD in markets than just getting by in IB for 2 years and dragging myself into a new desk in PE for an extra check which wont actually change my life at all. They make more than you but the quality of life is no better in the first place.
And even if its paradise on earth, is everyone else who isn't in that particular industry "inadequate"? there's merit in everyone's role.
Make friends get a girlfriend get some hobbies and just live life, apply yourself in your current role and prove to yourself that you are worth something.
That hedging job sounds like a good job. A lot of mathematic, can transition into portfolio management / quant hedge fund, can learn some Python and statistics and even ML models. And better wlb.
Get over yourself
Just work for a few years, get an M7 MBA and then join IB if that is what you want.
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