Lost / Suicidal / Anxiety

Hi Monkeys. Don't know where else to talk about this, so here we fucking are.

I am a rising sophomore at a very low semi-target, trying to get into IB. But honestly at this point I feel like I might as well give up.

I have no freshman summer internship whatsoever, and constantly feel overshadowed by my peers (all of whom are at least doing something finance related). Despite studying technicals every day and reaching out for coffee chats, I know that everyone else already knows more than me by this point, because I only just learned about what finance really was, and has done more than me too. I have no idea how to break out of this anxiety because all I think about every day is how I'm super behind and can't recover and will ultimately fail despite my best efforts. It's horrible and I can't even feel happy hanging out with friends anymore.

I don't know why I'm talking about this, maybe I'm looking for some validation? Someone to say I still have a shot, that they went through the same thing? But in any case, here we are.

I'll see y'all in 12 months with an update that I'm working at McDonalds, I guess.

9 Comments
 
Most Helpful

Ok bud let me give you a view.

Not everyone who does IB starts at the top shop or even breaks in at university/college stage.

Firstly - comparison is the thief of joy. Forget your peers. Run your own track. 

Secondly - IB isn't everything career wise.

3rd - Missing the AN1 out of college spot isn't your final chance. 

4th - it's always darkest before a dawn. So it may feel like you're up against it but you'll get there. When you do, your persistence will make you a much stronger person than many of the peers you so envy who haven't had hardship. 

You need to keep some perspective, if its affecting you so deeply then you are putting too much pressure on yourself.

I won't tell my whole story but I switched into IB in my late twenties and worked my way up. I took shit from clowns on this forum and got told I was wasting my time. I even thought I should give up. 

Keep trucking, keep your head up. You'll find something and that's the first step In your journey. 

Sponsors M&A (London)
 

Great perspective, hope the poster takes the advice to heart and keeps going, esp considering they’re way to early in their university career. But to follow up, How about the constant feeling that you’re not doing enough? Always feeling guilt when doing anything remotely pleasurable beyond grinding technicals/working(if you’re alr at the firm)? Most people who broke in “later” (not to assume but seems like your case) were unaware of the positions/opportunities and when they were exposed to that scene they delivered... But if you missed out despite being proactive and fell behind, that feels like a clear failure… how do you suppose one get over that?

 

My brother. I would say that PREDOMINANTLY MOST of the IB recruitment happens for the junior year. Do a modeling course, keep brushing technicals, and yourself keep up to date with the markets. So, your odds are still in the green zone. It’s not about knowing more everybody else, it’s about being the right fit at the right place and at the right time. Also, here’s a bit of a personal take of mine: freshman internships are mostly bs. I am not extending my statement up to the 100%, but think about it. You probably just learned fundamental micro and macro, basic accounting and maybe a public speaking class. Of course, there are freshman internships that are legit, but it’s not that significant to be killing yourself about it. Getting a sophomore IB internship is already top-notch game and is widely offered by many BB’s, so THIS is where you should be aiming at! What I can guarantee you is that if you keep putting such immense pressure on yourself over every single detail without even questioning where you are at, where you are headed, and what is the most important - you are going to mentally derail yourself eventually. It’s already extremely tough, so don’t make the hell boil extra. If you keep doing your best and, of course, smartly leveraging any experience you get - I can’t imagine you failing. C’mon

 

If you keep networking and staying up to date with the markets while maintaining a good GPA, you'll be good. Your lack of a freshman internship isn't a problem. You got this!

 

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