Networking email template

I was just wondering if my cold email template was acceptable? I haven't been getting a lot of responses and was wondering if it's the wording of my template.

Dear Name,

My name is ____, and I’m currently a student at __ College pursuing a degree in Computer Information Systems.

I’m reaching out because I noticed from my research on LinkedIn that you work at ___ and your career journey is so inspiring. It would be great to learn more about your experiences and the qualities you feel have helped you become so successful. I would really appreciate your time and would be happy to schedule a phone call for a time that works best for you.

Thanks,

2 Comments
 
Most Helpful

Sounds too fake. Avoid "from my research on LinkedIn" "your career journey is so inspiring" and the 2 sentences that follow it. Be more upfront with your intentions for a phone call, are you looking for an internship or are you looking for "qualities that have helped them become successful"??? Be more genuine and get straight to the point (but make sure you don't come across as feeling entitled to a response)

 

Harum commodi quaerat iure alias hic aut. Perferendis repellat quod et cum inventore. Possimus in alias occaecati ducimus et sunt amet.

Praesentium dolorum optio expedita non eligendi omnis deleniti. Quidem veritatis quae ea in laudantium.

Career Advancement Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.3%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.9%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.3%

Professional Growth Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.9%
  • JPMorgan No 97.3%

Total Avg Compensation

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (51) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (26) $182
  • Intern/Summer Associate (15) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (84) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (76) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
3
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
6
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
10
numi's picture
numi
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”