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August 31, 2026
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...class of 200 out of 5,000+ applicants) ...Financing 100% of educational expenses ...resulting in the best return of 2013 ...perfectly (perfectly!? as opposed to some other definition of bilingual!?) bilingual in spoken Mandarin Chinese ...(especially house and trance), sports cars, classic fashion and style
You don't actually have things like this on your resume or talk like this right?
"Provide valuation and mergers & acquisition services for small businesses (between $10,000 and $100,000 in yearly revenue) 2008-Present". Since you are graduating in 1 year, I will estimate you are currently ~21. This makes you about 15 when you did this. You realize why this looks bad if true, and stupid if false. You are in no position to provide M&A advice and analysis to small businesses at 15 years old, no matter what kind of prodigy you are. If you lied, and in fact just gave your own startup or a friend advice once, this looks ridiculous.
I can't believe you got hired by a hedge fund, and worse that they listened to your ideas, if this is what your resume is like. I would expect 0 reputable firms to ever hire you in the future. I also can't believe you assembled 100+ people to help them with their finance careers, but didn't do an ounce of networking in the most important place in the US...NYC.
Just give it up man, this is not the career for you. Go be a DJ or something.
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