Should you be SELFISH to your FRIENDS when applying for your FIRST JOB?!
I recently got my first job in a big investment fund firm, thanks to my friend who was also competing for the job but did not end up getting it.
We initially applied together at the same time, he received the next staged interview email while I did not.
When we bumped into each other a while later and spoke about it, we updated each other about it. I voiced out my frustration of not receiving any response and then my friend was kind enough to share with me the recruiter's contact details from the email he got, for me to inquire further about my application process.
He did this knowing that we were competing for the same competitive job.
Fast forward, I got the job but he did not.
I felt sorry for him being kind to me but maybe at his expense of not getting the job? My parents told me that I should be grateful to him for the help but the success of actually getting the job was due to my effort.
In retrospect, if you were my friend, would you have helped a friend in need when he/she is competing for the same first job that you are applying for?
Your ‘friend’ is an idiot and you’re a little bit of an asshole.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that......
Questionable and debatable comment
Many answers... DickFuld is right to some extent.
You can also say that neither of you were wrong. You were the better candidate. Your friend now knows what to improve on.
Thanks for leaving a respectful and intellectual comment
Your friend is a good friend and a nice person. You also (most likely) did not steal his spot. It's not like it was down to the 2 of you and then you hoodwinked him at the last second.
Also, for anyone who thinks that networking or being pro-active about job searching is not worthwhile, this is a pretty clear counterexample. Next time you should do your best to reach out after submitting the job app - it really shouldn't be that difficult to find out a good contact (check for alumni).
Great answer that deserves an applause, we need more users such as yourself in this community!
Idk I always back up my friends. I remember a bank that recruited on campus changed their resume submission date by like six weeks without letting anyone know. I found out from an employee literally by luck alone and the first thing I did was tell my two friends who I knew wanted to apply. None of us got the job, but I honestly wouldn't have felt bad if one of them did. This was less of a friend like pulling for another but instead just like common decency, but I feel like our examples are similar.
What is important to you in life?
I'm in a job process right now and found out an acquaintance of mine was applying for the same job.
Much more important to me than my professional life is the pursuit of treating others how I'd like to be treated. I've been on the job hunt for a longtime and he just started looking, so I shared my old practice LBO models with him and coached him through the process.
He ended up not making it past the first round while I had more relative success, so I never had to stop and think "but what if he succeeded where I didn't?"
I like to think that I would have been proud of what I did regardless of outcome, because had I been in his shoes, I would have appreciated the guidance. My job will change but my character will not.
I definitely would've helped my friend if I could. And, given this is a big firm, they would've had more than 1 spot for the job. When he got you in contact with the recruiter, he knew that this eventuality could've been possible.
On the other hand, if I were you, I would absolutely be grateful to my friend for helping me out. You should, at least, thank him with a drink. I wouldn't be sorry though.
You cannot be expected to do less than your best or accept less than what's offered just because you're competing with a friend. You competed fairly and won. You have no reason to feel guilty.
What you should do: Thank your friend, acknowledge that his help may have been at his own expense, buy him a beer, and then look for opportunities to return the favor down the road. Keep someone who's willing to help you like that in your personal/professional network.
Great and respectful insights mates, appreciate it and keep making this community better unlike many others
This goodwill that he's created with you will likely be much more valuable than the x% higher probability he would've gotten the job had he withheld that piece of info.
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