What's wrong with my cold email?

I'm only getting around a 15% response rate for my emails and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong or if this is expected from cold emails.

Subject Line: XXX university student seeking career information or XXX university student reaching out (for alumni)

Body: Hello Mr/Ms,

My name is XXX and I am a [grade level] majoring in Finance at the XXX university. I am interested to learn more about investment banking and [Firm Name] in particular. Would you have some time next week for a quick call? I would appreciate the chance to learn about your experiences and any advice you could give me.

Sincerely, My name

Any critiques are appreciated

12 Comments
 

Hi John-Jacobs1, any of these topics helpful:

  • Check my cold e-mail template for VC/Start-ups Thanks, [My name and surname]---------------------- VC cold e-mail start up ... Hey. I am about to send cold e-mails- mostly to VCs- for an Analyst role. Tell me what do you ... think about my template. Any revisions appreciated.------------------------- Hello Name, I am writing ...
  • How to Title Cold E-mails / InMails? & Salutations contact after I research them and their firm, but how would you title these e-mails and InMails? Right ... I think that I have the body of my written cold contact down, and I obviously modify it for every ... don't have anything to actually thank them for yet. And using it repeatedly with the same person ...
  • E-mailing Higher Ups about Job Opportunity have to send an email (with your cover letter and resume) to their HR e-mail and then they get back to ... at the company because my company has them in our buyer database. Is it acceptable to e-mail one of ... you. Is there a way to go around this? I have the e-mail to the Managing Director and some higher ups ...
  • Cold e-mail CEO... one wanted to hear me out- I cold e-mail the head of sales in the company. He was impressed with my ... e-mail and told me he would see me to see what i have to say. I gave it 100% but I guess it wasn't ... I have what it takes to succeed here. I want to e-mail him again, but not quiet sure what to say or what ...
  • A different kind of cold e-mail Yes, I realize there are many posts about cold emailing and I think I have the basics down, but ... I applied a couple of weeks ago for a position with a major American company here and got an email back ... responds, turn the conversation towards that specific job... cold email ...
  • Networking e-mail question email E-mail cold email ... several people the same e-mail? What if they are the same firm? Different firm? Is there a good way to ... 5 sentences-be honest with them. So would something like this be ok "My name is XXX XXX and I noticed you ...
  • Alumni Cold e-mail Trying to get a fall IB internship. Here is my Cold E-mail template that I started using today. No ... schedule, but I would sincerely appreciate an opportunity to speak with you for 15 minutes sometime within ...
  • Petty and uninteresting e-mail format question For some firms with [email protected] e-mail addresses. In this case Evercore... What if ... safe....) and I am afraid the e-mail will not get to him. This is the most petty post I've written ... here. Thanks guys. cold email ...
  • More suggestions...

Or maybe the following users have something to say: masters Taylor-Coulter straightnochaser

Hope that helps.

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

I don't really have anything in common with the people I am emailing. I had a line about "I found your information through Linkedin" but it seemed a little bit generic and unnecessary. Do you have any suggestions for a sentence to get people a little more interested?

 

Do you have an example of a customization? I didn't want to be overly personal or say something that might trip me up so I'm sort of lost as to what I should put.

 
Funniest

Nisi libero cupiditate earum ab et est qui nemo. Quia inventore reprehenderit eos voluptatum. Quibusdam quod repudiandae optio quasi delectus. Vitae et animi expedita sunt enim odio quos blanditiis. Consequatur necessitatibus cum numquam aut recusandae molestiae qui quis.

Ut recusandae eos natus voluptas ut id aut. Occaecati asperiores officia dolorem aut atque tempore. Perferendis necessitatibus illum nisi. Quo accusantium qui eius doloribus magni omnis. Laboriosam voluptatem excepturi eos quis est ipsam hic.

Tempora dolorum omnis consectetur necessitatibus nihil quia. Eaque et laboriosam accusantium et est nihil odio. Perspiciatis illum repudiandae eligendi quia. Dolor aliquam quia necessitatibus labore iure et.

Ipsum autem cum nesciunt est magni corporis cupiditate. Vero accusamus incidunt et sed. Ut similique totam accusamus est vero. Amet itaque dolore ratione ut ut. Officia quaerat sit quae.

Career Advancement Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.3%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.5%
  • Morgan Stanley 02 98.9%
  • Evercore 01 98.4%
  • Banco Santander 02 97.8%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.3%

Professional Growth Opportunities

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.5%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.9%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 98.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 01 97.8%
  • JPMorgan No 97.3%

Total Avg Compensation

September 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (16) $429
  • Associates (51) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (26) $182
  • Intern/Summer Associate (14) $159
  • 1st Year Analyst (84) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (76) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”