4 years after burnout in IB and what came after...

Hey guys, looking for some honest career advice. It's been a while since I've been on this forum - it's good to be back. You may not remember me but I remember you!

4 years ago I had a major burnout in IB after I worked 100+ hour weeks consistently over 3-4 months as an associate - weight loss, heart palpitations, depression, working most of the holiday season etc. I quit immediately post-bonus and basically went on a soul searching mission. That led me overseas, and now I'm in the UK. 

After I left, I almost felt pure malice towards this field, and didn't want anything to do with the industry anymore. However, real life hits us right? And so I basically I decide to do something a bit more chill without a huge step-down in pay.

I jumped at an FP&A position at a good startup, but eventually I found the work a bit mundane and the prospect of being CFO wasn't super appealing. I stuck with the industry and did lucrative remote contract work in the UK, and I work on 3-6 month contracts which gives me flexibility to just chill and figure out life. In turns out that I can basically watch Youtube while working all day and still do a good job and get paid...but it's draining in a different way. It's weird how I used to dream about maximizing my $/effort ratio but now that it's quite high it feels like a waste of energy watching the screen for pings and watching Youtube. The caliber of people is also much lower unfortunately which frustrates the perfectionist bred into me by my old career.

Over this time I've become almost the opposite of your typical finance bro, the anger and the cynicism has faded quite a bit. I don't really indulge in the vices anymore - barely even drink. I'm actually pretty happy now - happiest I've ever been. I think I've almost fully transitioned from twitchy, permanently tired finance bro to a chill dude. I'm in a happy LT relationship and I have a close circle of friends (albeit scattered all over the world) - yet I'm still struggling a bit with the career path - the PTSD from banking is real. Plus, I I think the major change now is - I don't think I can accept being untruthful to myself, meaning that I find it harder to lie that I love doing XYZ when I don't.

Although the general cynicism towards life itself has now changed, and my curiosity is back, the depression has faded, and I want to actually stretch my brain muscles - I still have issues when it comes to looking at the grind. It almost feels a bit pointless sometimes, as if life is just a cycle of grinding and then burning out on repeat. I've been feeling an itch to do something with greater social impact or greater enjoyment, but it feels like I'm using a shotgun and chasing 100 different leads trying to "figure it out". Plus, having put all of my eggs in the finance bucket earlier I don't think I can easily pivot out into another high paying position (i.e. don't think dancing on Tiktok is a possibility). But right now I am playing around with different AI/no-code tools or exploring different "entrepreneurial" options just to see what's out there. I'm starting to research investing type roles, but unsure if I can bridge the gap from FP&A. There is a lack of focus fosho.

Or maybe it's as simple as having great people/banter/work office culture like I have had before in one of the tech companies after banking - then maybe any job is palatable.

Anyone have any advice on what career path would work? Or what crazy pivots some of you have done? 

if you're in London and have experienced something similar, or just want to chat, let me know if you want to connect or grab a coffee or something.