Affair with my Associate… In Desperate Need for Advice
Hey guys,
So I just started my 1st year analyst stint, and recently just went on a road trip to my alma mater for the school’s bank week networking/recruitment event. My associate and I went to the same school in Boston, and so we made the trip together. And because the hotel was so full, we had to share a room at the Ritz— her treat. But before I continue let me provide some context.
I recently graduated and was lucky enough to somehow get a fantastic FT offer, but my first year on the job has been incredibly stressful. I have barely seen my family and friends, and have lost my entire social life since I left college. No girls, no dating, no hookups, all work. And while I like the grind, I’ve been feeling more and more lonely every night… so when I got staffed under my current female associate I was elated to say the least. Not only was she incredibly kind, hard working, spoke 3 languages fluently, highly intelligent (she is the youngest associate is the entire bank), but she also is incredibly attractive. Im not talking about just conventionally hot, but like supermodel hot. Just to paint the picture: She is dirty blond, 5’9, sparkling grey eyes, has a perfectly symmetrical face and has the same body of that model Emily Ratajkowksi.
And for whatever reason, she is into me and has been flirting with me whenever we grab lunch or walk home together. She is irresistible and she knows it too, and whenever we are together it’s hard to not notice people staring at her, and random people have asked if she is famous. But anyway, I know it is incredibly inappropriate to be even thinking about your senior in any way, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. And so when we spent the night after the event at the hotel bar and then went back up to our room, things kind of got out of hand to say the least…
Back at the office, things have been quite awkward. I talked to her and told her that what we did was wrong, but now she teases me at work too, and I KEEP GETTING STAFFED WITH HER. The more and more I am getting to know her too, the more I realize how batshit crazy she actually is. She kind of reminds me of Vince Vaugn’s insane girlfriend in Wedding Crashers. She can be erratic at times, almost mentally unstable and emotionally unpredictable, and if I pretend to not reciprocate her affection she straight up starts ghosting my emails and absolutely slams me with unnecessary bitch work. If this keeps on going on, I gonna get bottom-bucketed or fired because I can’t focus or get any of my fucking work done. And if anyone finds out, this is career suicide…when I already worked so hard in undergrad to get where I am at.
The stress of this situation has been driving me mad and needed to vent to someone before I blew a circuit so here I am. What do I do? Am I in deep shit if I go to HR?
Ride the wave brother. Welcome to the crazy bitch club.
This is fake. Your post history is all over the place - you have comments reminiscing over “your analyst days” but just last month you were bitching about not getting any looks as a diversity hire bc you’re Asian at a target school. Get your story straight, then go post your weird sex fantasies elsewhere Chang.
Op is anon tho?
Name was originally “Icahnoclast” but now changed after getting called out. User ID on the profile page is still the same: 1139787. Just paste that into the URL on anyone’s profile page to see the post history.
I actually think they do - workplace relationships where I work (GS/JPM/MS) are absolutely looked down upon.
Relax. Let it ride. Happens more often than you’d think.
Didn’t happen - by your own post history, you are still in school struggling to get a job even as a diversity hire(!). Just last month you were applying for the WSO academy while simultaneously posting comments reminiscing over “your analyst days.” Get your story straight
Yeah even if that wasn’t the case, nobody would be dumb enough to vividly describe their affair partner to potentially 100s that could the profile and find her.
why you always lyin
Don't go to HR. What is HR going to do?
I think you're pretty f'ed. Start applying to other places to have an offer in the bag if needed. I've met girls like this and they are the most dangerous. They will f*ck up your life and giggle about it.
I've talked to a few guys I knew well back in college who are at similar banks, and they pretty much just laughed their asses off thinking I was joking. The only somewhat serious response I got was to go to HR and describe the difficulty of my situation. But knowing the notoriety of our HR dep, I don't think they would be understanding at all. I think that might be my best bet unfortunately... I'm honestly considering the possibility of a lateral, so I would just have to last until July for bonus. But is even possible to lateral as a 1st year analyst? -- especially considering the current job market? Maybe I could grease the wheels and get moved to our ECM team (but I'd kinda consider that a downgrade -- no offense intended ECM folks). And yes, I agree, she has become a complete sadistic freak at this point, and I SWEAR she knows how much control she has over me.
HR looks out for the company and doesn't always look out for employee's wishes. The best way to internal transfer is to talk to the MD and go through them.
Del
At least he didn't drop the H bomb. LOL
Why can't this forum go one day without some type of story involving a coworker and sex?
...and often, presumably, wishful fantasies.
Thanks- I swear that 90% of WSO is just the same 3 conversations over and over again
Get a life without being a distracting troll
Congrats to her on finally getting staffed
Oh dear, another sleeping with the help. Bro, you need to exercise Dick discipline. This is a easy way to end up homeless, has history not taught you anything?
congrats on the sex
next time be sure you consult the hot/crazy matrix
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