Anyone else low-key want the world to end?
After work and on my days off I don't do much except for networking(which makes me feel like a sycophantic hack), listening to emo music, and jacking off to porn. I have a couple women that have been courting me, and have asked me out but I've denied them all because I don't really see the point. I feel like once you've been with one beautiful woman, you've been with them all. Especially since I spent an entire year and almost all my savings fucking my favorite pornstars when they came to my city.
I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just tired of the monotony of life, I'm tired of doing things that millions of people before me have done. I often think of the "Tears in Rain" monologue from the film Blade Runner, because I feel like it encapsulates what I want from life:
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
Now of course I don't aspire to live in some dystopian sci-fi future, but I'd really like to a live an exciting life, filled with moments that other people have never and will never see. But the odds of that happening are pretty slim. I'm pretty young(early 20's) so whenever I discuss this with friends they say that life is just getting started and that because of the rate at which technology is progressing, we'll all have the chance to have a plethora of "unique" experiences , but I'm still pretty skeptical. But sadly since I'm not suicidal I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Hopefully WW3 kicks off in our lifetime or something, that'd be a true sight to see... I might even enlist.